mom lets me eat toilet paper

so mom and me were playing this hysterical game: i picked a little piece of toilet paper off the roll and tried to put it in my mouth. then she would grab it out of my hand and say "don't eat that!" this went on for a few minutes, when finally, she just said, "fine, eat it. it probably won't hurt you--extra fiber for ya" she totally called my bluff. i chewed on the paper for a while, but i couldn't swallow it, so i just spit it out. i guess with mommy not feeling well, she doesn't have the energy to play all my fun games. oh well, her loss.

i don't think it is fair that at one year old i have chores to do. i don't even get an allowance. i have to push my high chair back to the dining room after EVERY SINGLE MEAL, even if while i am pushiing my chair i see something interesting, like a cheerio i left on the ground that i was saving. nope, it's "come on donovan, you have to do you chore" nag nag nag. you think that's it? no. i have to turn off the bathroom light after my bath. EVERY NIGHT. what's up with that, yo? i'm ONE for crying out loud!

me and mommy went to the doctor today and SHE got 2 shots in the hiney and i got NO shots! now she knows how it feels. but she didn't cry. they also put a tube in her mouth and made her breathe in it for a few minutes. it was supposed to help her stop coughing, but it didn't. i don't know what is wrong with her. she has been whispering all the time for days. it is fun when she tries to yell at me.


i spent a lot of time at day care recently. it was tough. the day care was fun on friday, because i like my teachers, but then this strange lady picked me up and i didn't know who she was. then nicole, my babysitter fed me and did everything mommy does before bed, except she didn't let me suck on her boob. then i went to day care early in the morning saturday. i don't think i like the weekends. they keep getting different teachers and i don't know them then saturday night i didn't sleep AT ALL. me and mommy were up all night. mommy was sick and had to work the next day, but what can i say, if i am gonna be up then SHE is gonna be up. it wasn't really fun for either of us, but i was hungry and stressed and i missed my mom and where the heck is my dad??????

then she brought me to day care AGAIN early sunday. man it sucks there on the weekend. well, someone at the day care center called in sick, so they called my mom at work and told her they were closing the day care center, so she needed to come pick me up because i was the only kid there. boy was my mom mad. she couldn't pick me up, but nicole did. i think i am starting to like that nicole. she got me to bed quick because i was so tired.

i am trying to get mom feeling better by getting her to pay more attention to me. see, here is my plan. i know what my rules are and what i am not allowed to touch. most of the time i follow those rules. but since mommy isn't feeling well, i don't think she is giving me that real quality time i crave and my developing mind needs. so, to help her out, i spent a lot of time touching the buttons on the strereo, and the phone cord (i haven't done that one in a looong time) and the mop....oh it was great to have mom pay attention to me. i giggled everytime she tried to yell "no!" and pulled me away from the forbidden fruit. tralalala it was fun.

my mom is so easily impressed. she bought me something called a "pumkin" today, but i thought it was a ball---you know how i love balls! so i was rolling it around and throwing it and it was great fun. mommy said, "this isn't a ball, this is a pumpkin--a kind of squash. do we have any other squashes in the house?" and i went to the dining room and pointed to the bowl of gourds and squash mom has just sitting there not doing anything. god, i think she almost got her voice back she was so excited "oooh donovan, that's right! oooh donovan, you're soooo smart!" whatever lady. you tell me this is a squash and those are squash and then say i'm smart because i just told you what you already know. maybe mommy is a little dumb. i don't know about that woman. but i love her. she's okay. i think i will stay.

well....that's it for now. i miss my dad. i think i heard mommy say she was going to bring me to day care tomorrow so she can clean or sleep or something.