september wasn't BAD, just stressful

wow. it had been a loooong time since i've posted anything. it's a big old bummer, too because this has been a busy, eventful month and to post now would surely leave out some of the best juicy details.

for one thing, i turned 2. yup. i am now all grown up. i even ask to drink from a big boy cup sometimes. this is a cup that doesn't have a spout and lid on the top. i had a party at jungle rapids and i got a lot of very cool presents. i liked the party well enough but it kind of stressed me out because there were a bunch of people i knew, but none of them from jungle rapids, so i didn't know what to expect. my baby sitter was there and i thought mamma and dada were going to leave me. then there was a kid from school....but i wasn't in school....and some kids from church but we weren't in church. and my grandparents were there and who the hell knows WHERE they came from. they just showed up. i don't know. it was very confusing. and all the other kids wanted to play with MY balloon and it was MY balloon and i just didn't want to share it. and even the presents were a bit overwhelming. see, the problem was, all the gifts i got were super-duper cool. so, i would open one, get all excited and want to play with it and then have to open a different one. but then THAT one would be really cool and i would want to play with that and i don't know, it was very tiring. the only thing that was not overwhelming or hard to understand was the cake. i love cake. i love birthday cake. my cake had a train on it and i loved it. don't tell my mom that the party was kind of tough on me because i over heard her saying "i think he really enjoyed it, don't you?" and well, look, i am just a bit young for that kind of excitement i think. so just keep it between us, okay?

and i guess september was treat-your-kid-like-a-trained-monkey month. we went to new york, and i will talk about the plane later. but we saw nona and poppy and uncle dave and uncle dan and aunt sonnie and uncle tom and uncle elliott and aunt sherri. we stayed at uncle dave's houlse. i like that uncle dave. he didn't make me show off. so first of all we spent waaaaaaaaay to much time in the car. i coudn't take naps unless i fell asleep in the car and that messed me up. at home i have very specific nap times and nap routines and just like my daddy, i like my routines!!!! there was just so much driving around. and then, mamma and dada were making me do and say things to the people we visited. "look what he can do? isn't he smart? look what he can say, that's our little genius!" on and on and on. go give this one a kiss, that one a kiss. lookit---do YOU go around kissing people you hardly know? yeah, how do i know these people won't hug me and then run away with me away from my mommy? how do i know they don't have cooties? i mean, come ON. i was forced to kiss and hug people all freaking weak. and that was just people i am apparently related to. they weren't even mom's friends because we didn't get a chance to see any of them. i will admit, i really liked spending time with these relative-type people, but the showing off and the kissing and the driving (oh god the driving!) was just a bit much.

then, the minute we got back from new york, my grandparents came to visit. i remembered them from before. my gramma wears pretty earrings and my papa will read me the same story over and over again. so they are okay in my book. except, when i was sent to The Wall, they didn't rescue me. i don't know about that. i was reading over the How To Be A 2 Year Old manual (which i have memorized because i am a genius) and there was a chapter on grandparents always giving you your way and extra cookies and stuff. so, i don't know about that. but they are good to have around anyways.

i went on an airplane. i got to preboard. i behaved very well--perfectly and it was one of the greatest experiences of my life. i love flying in a plane a lot. not as much as trains or backhoes, but more than riding in a car. i loved it so much. the same amount, no maybemore than riding on the bike. i want to fly in a big airplane every day. mommy does NOT like flying. but, we all know she is a strange one.

and i started a new school. i like it quite a bit. they serve their own food there, which bothers mommy, but they have a cool class room and i like the teachers and we go outside, which is my favorite thing more than airplanes. maybe not trains. i like taking my train out side. mommy is bothered by the menu they serve (someone PLEASE tell her i really don't like tofu and i DO like chicken nuggets) because it isn't as HEALTHY as what she makes. i don't know. they serve do nuts and ice cream. they do not serve anything with tofu in it. and there is no organic there either. i am not sure what organic is, but i know mommy makes me eat it a lot.

i will save my latest skills and talents for another post because this one is getting too long. we have been listening quite a bit to "dog train" which is our (mine and mamma and dada's) favorite cd. my favorite sons are "no no no" and "don't give me that broccolli" i sing that song whenever i eat broccolli, but i actually love broccolli. it is one of my favorite foods. too bad they dont' serve it at school. yeah, it really breaks my heart. i think mom tries to sneak some broccolli in my eggs one day because she was afraid i wouldn't get enough vegetables at That School.

i saw miss hattie, my teacher from my other school (my last day was thursday and now it's saturday) at sears today. she was trying to love on me and everything, but i ignored her. why? because how do i know she didn't have something to do with making me go to a new school? i love her and now she isn't my teacher any more so it is best if we just not pretend to be be friends, you know?

well, i am a LOT smarter now that i am 2 and can do a lot of things, but i should really save it for another post. i can jump with BOTH feet off the ground. my doctor said i have the verbal skills of a 3 year old. i can sing about 3845 songs. i told you i read the whole 2 year old manual, right? oh yeah! meltdown city, baby! i got it down PAT. the throwing things, the loud crying, the insanely embarassing (well, embarassing to someone!) behavior in public. poking, hitting, biting. i can do it all. oh yes. the glory of being 2. i shall embrace it. i shall be it. all of it. it's all mine anyways. all of it. anything i want. mine. if you have it and i want it: mine. yup. hahahahahahahahahaha i love my life.

one last thing: mommy got a new job and she loves it very much but she goes to work every day. but she is happier when she gets home and has less cooties and other people's poo on her.

yay dada!

so guess what! DA-DA's HOME!!!!!!!!!!!! finally!!!!!! we picked him up from his airplane business trip on saturday. (that was like a year, i think) i was so excited, i couldn't sleep at all. i was sitting in mama-dada bed and kept going "hi dada. hello dada" i was so happy to see him. we have been having fun since he got home.

i hear mama and dada talking about sending me to a new school. i am not sure i like that, so i will just ignore them and keep going to my same school.

mama and dada are quizzing me a lot. that is, they are talking to each other in letters. i think they are trying to help me learn to spell. for example, one of them said to the other, "we have to write out the invitations to j-u-n-g-l-e-r-a-p-i-d-s for his birthday party" what the hell is that??? i don't really like it, because i would rather get my learnin' from school, but you can't tell those people anything. maybe they are just jealous because i can sing b-i-n-g-o.

mama said i am going on an airplane in a few days. i think a few days is the same as a year, so i am not going to worry about it. besides, it doesn't make sense. i don't have a job, so there are no business trips for little kids, which is what you do on a plane. also, she said we are going to see "nona and poppy" but they are in the phone, so it just makes no sense. i know they are in the phone because, HELLO, that's where i talk to them.

mama can be pretty exasperating at times, as you can tell. i just didn't realize dada would be that way too. he's not as bad, but they both pretty much drive me nuts. so, thanks for reading. more later big people, time to wave bye-bye!