who are you and what have you done with my mommy

this lady who looks like my mommy, but can't be, went to the grocery store and bought me juice and nilla wafers. i am not allowed junk food and juice counts as junk food. but, i haven't eaten in 3 days and mommy says she will try anything to get me to eat and drink. she didn't have to break out the juice, but i liked the nilla wafers and they did seem to do the trick in getting my appetite back. i actually ate some dinner. however, i am practicing my fun new skill: shaking my head vigorously in protest of whatever mommy wants me to do or have. "eat this!" "shake shake shake (my head)" "come here" (no!) let's go ! NO! no no no no no no. i don't SAY it, but the idea is loud and clear. and i am realizing that i can bite lots of things. so, i stopped biting the nipples, but now i bite everything else. it is so fun. i can't believe i didn't realize i could do that before.

i was a chicken for halloween. mommy dressed me up this morning and took pictures. then she dressed me up again tonight and let me run around outside waiting for all the trick or treaters. i saw some. if i could figure out how to post a picture, i would show you all how cute i am but alas, i can't figure it out and we have a mac so of course EVERYTHING is a bigger project. well, it is time for me to sleep and time for mommy to finish rearranging the living room because she says she is sick of yelling at me to stop touching the wine, the cords and all the other things. she said she is just getting rid of every thing i can't touch or putting it out of reach. yeah, good luck with that, lady. i think you ought to spend your time doing something else. you can't stop me.

who are you and what have you done with my mommy

this lady who looks like my mommy, but can't be, went to the grocery store and bought me juice and nilla wafers. i am not allowed junk food and juice counts as junk food. but, i haven't eaten in 3 days and mommy says she will try anything to get me to eat and drink. she didn't have to break out the juice, but i liked the nilla wafers and they did seem to do the trick in getting my appetite back. i actually ate some dinner. however, i am practicing my fun new skill: shaking my head vigorously in protest of whatever mommy wants me to do or have. "eat this!" "shake shake shake (my head)" "come here" (no!) let's go ! NO! no no no no no no. i don't SAY it, but the idea is loud and clear. and i am realizing that i can bite lots of things. so, i stopped biting the nipples, but now i bite everything else. it is so fun. i can't believe i didn't realize i could do that before.

i was a chicken for halloween. mommy dressed me up this morning and took pictures. then she dressed me up again tonight and let me run around outside waiting for all the trick or treaters. i saw some. if i could figure out how to post a picture, i would show you all how cute i am but alas, i can't figure it out and we have a mac so of course EVERYTHING is a bigger project. well, it is time for me to sleep and time for mommy to finish rearranging the living room because she says she is sick of yelling at me to stop touching the wine, the cords and all the other things. she said she is just getting rid of every thing i can't touch or putting it out of reach. yeah, good luck with that, lady. i think you ought to spend your time doing something else. you can't stop me.

mommy and me are not the same person

she, SHE is feeling better, so she is announcing to the world the WE are feeling better. but the truth is...i don't think i am feeling much better. just cuz SHE is feeling better...i mean, hello, she and me ain't the same, right? my temp went up to 104.0 last night...103.6 the night before....and i still don't want to eat. and mom has been tying to get me off the boob and on to sippy cups and food this morning, but i don't want it. so, she called the doctor's office and spoke to a nurse who said, let him nurse today and if he spikes again tonight to bring him in tomorrow morning to see what is going on. i don't want to go to the doctor's. they give shots there. they make me sit on a scale. they poke at me and i don't wanna go.

mom took me outside in my chicken costume today to get pictures. altho, of course they are adorable because they are ME, they are not full of my typical vim or vigor because i just don't feel that good. she's talking about going to the mall with me as a chicken. i don't know about that. other people might see me....you know, if i am still sick, i don't think that would be a good idea. and i don't know about going to a mall dressed as a chicken! i mean, do you think other people will be dressed as a chicken? even chik-filet has a guy dressed as a cow.

okay then, well, thanks for visiting. soon, i hope to have deep thoughts and funny stories to write about and not just my latest tempurature. soon, pro'ly.

gettin better

well, mommy keeps trying to give me this horrible tasting stuff she calls "antibiotic" which i think is very mean. she says it is the reason why i am feeling so much better today. mommy says that she is also feeling better today than she has in over 2 weeks (bout time lady). i don't mind the orange stuff so much mommy gives me when i am hot (motrin she calls it) but that antibiotic crap---man oh man. she has to put me in the high chair, get me in a head lock from behind and try to avoid my cunning wily fast moving hands and put it really fast in the side of my cheek. you think i am kidding, but i am not. isn't this abuse?

i still have no appetite, but i have mom's jugs, so i have been glued to those bad boys since yesterday. and OH! i learned a fun new game. i cannot believe i never figured this one out before today. i didn't realize how much mommy loves it when i bite down on her nipples! oh you should have heard the screams of delight, which of course made ME happy and i did it again and again. i have had these chompers for a couple months now and i have never used them for biting. she screamed and was like "oh my god---no biting! don't do that!" but then i did it again and she screamed in glee again.

one of the nurses from work called to check in on mommy today. she said she can't figure out if they are really that nice or if they are suspicious or something. her boss called her last week "just to see how she was feeling and if she could bring her anything". since mommy is a naturally suspicious person (with, at times, a justifiably guilty conscience) she doesn't trust these "just want to see how you are feeling" phone calls. but honestly, i think she just works with some very nice people who really DO want to see how we are feeling. i mean, she had gone to work quite sick several times, so i don't think anyone thinks anything inappropriate is going on! there are just some very nice people reaching out. they know daddy is away. mommy really ought to try to be a little less cynical.

i am so glad we are both doing so much better already. it is good that we just lay low this weekend and try to rest. well, i don't need to rest. i have lots of things to grab and take and knock over and play with. fever shmever! i got things to do!!!!!

i'm not even THINKIN about my day care problems right now

well, the day care situation is pretty much shot to shit (sorry mom, i don't usually swear). nicole isn't working out....the center forgot to tell me they decided to cancel weekends.....but alas there are more pressing matters right now.

i am going to let mommy tell the story because she tells it better than i do and i am sooooooo weak..........(uh hek uh hek)

i will try to leave the drama out of it and stick to the facts. so last night donovan has a temp of 102.4. well, that is high and i don't like it, but okay, we will keep an eye on things. this morning early it was 100.1--hooray---then at around 11:30 it went up to 103.0!!!!!!!!!!!! of course, i called the pediatrician right away and gave ibuprofen. he gets diagnosed with red ears, which i think is the medical term for an ear infection, so we are ordered antibiotics (ah yes, it begins.....antibiotics with no culture, brilliant altho--how do they culture ears, maybe they can't ok, i'll let it go). of course we get them filled.

well, i decided to take myself to the urgent care because although i had thought i was getting better from my 2 week "cold" even though i myself had a course of antibiotics and even a week of steroids. neither seemed to help at all, i thought i would just get better with time. anyways, today i felt a lot worse than i had the past 2 weeks. i just felt awful....and this is after 2 weeks of this crap. so off we go to the medac, the urgent care chain store around here. turns out i have a temp of 101.6 and low and behold: pneumonia! so i am given antibiotics--levaquin-- (i had a chest x ray to confirm the pneumonia) and a puffer. and of course, a note to stay out of work for the weekend. i am sure this antibiotic will help pretty quick, because it is the strongest pill out there, really. if i am not significantly better by monday, IV antibiotics are the next course. i promise you, these will help, oooh. i had better get some yogurt for myself. i don't need to add a, ok, well, never mind. these are strong meds and they will wipe out the good and the bad germs!

oh, but this story isn't over! we get home, and d. is clearly burning up. try 105.1 yes, that is not a typo: 105.1 so watch mommy the nurse freak out. i shove more motrin down his gullet (THAT was a battle) and his first dose of amoxicillin. with all the wonders of medical science, do you think they could make an antibiotic for a baby not smell (and i am sure, taste) like friggin athletes foot on a dead pig? hmmmm, where did i get that? i am getting dramatic? it stinks man, whaddya want?! and then i call vitalink, our local on call talk-to-a-nurse number to see if i should take him to the er. she had me give him a tepid bath, keep him cool for 30 minutes and recheck his temp. it went down to 102.9. weird that i am happy about 102.9 i also was intructed in the appropriate doses for both motrin and tylenol. turns out i have been under dosing him, but the packages give you such a wide range. of course, he is in the children's meds because he is over 26 pounds now. i give him all kinds of things that say "talk to a doctor before giving to children under 2". of course, i always ask. i wish all medicine--and all clothes come to think of it--would just not do the whole age thing and do everything by weight.

okeedoke then. i really wish there was someone here to help. i hate to sound like a baby. i know things have been off to a rocky start with keith leaving, but i am also confident that they will work out and be fine. we will find better child care....everything will be okay. this weekend, however, i guess i am feeling a little babyish and wishing for someone to just...i don't know. be here. clean my house. help me chase around donovan who as soon as his temp goes below 103 seems to be ready to get into everything (except eating and drinking). well, it is almost 8 pm and honestly, i am just spent, so i am going to bed. the baby is asleep and i am afraid that he WILL sleep all night (and spike again) and i am afraid he WON'T sleep all night, for obviousl reasons. okeedoke then. not looking for pity, just needed to get this all out.

PS all this on the night of the halloween party where he is supposed to be a CHICKEN! i was so looking forward to it!

baby it's cold outside

mom took me to school today. i had to wear a coat. there was frost on the car windows! it wasn't just chilly: oooh better wear a jacket---it was hatcoatgloves COLD! mommy said she would have liked it better if she owned a coat. apparently she is going to have to buy one. it is sunny and crisp---a perfect fall day. we just got cought off guard with how cold it was. mommy said bring on the cold, just leave the snow somewhere else. snow? what is snow? it sounds like "no" so i probably wouldn't like it.

mommy is no fun. this morning, when i was making my rounds to touch the lamp cord, phone plug, and phone cord, mommy was just like "no" and moved me. there was no ooomph to it....no emotion. i really didn't feel it. look, if she isn't going to put a little more feeling into this "no" game that we love so much, i am not going to play anymore. i am trying to stir up the pot by climbing on the step stool and opening the box of cat litter. well, i will have to find something that will get her excited.

well, gotta go....thanks for stopping by and reading this.

this one's from mommy

hi, hope you all don't mind hearing form donovan's mommy here. the big d. is in his crib. he should be napping, but instead he is making rasperry sounds and...singing(?)--very soprano i might add. my son is obsessed with cleaning implements. specifically, the vacuum, the broom the swiffer and the new carpet swiffer thing. the mop to a lesser degree, but that could be because he doesn't see the mop as often (i usually only mop when he is asleep). i let him play with the swiffer and the broom and it is very cute because he doesn't use it WELL (since they are 3 times as tall as he is), but he uses them appropriately. aaah, once he gets a bit older and bigger......

he is really challenging me with his behavior this past week. he is willfully going to everything he knows he isn't supposed to touch and gleefully (sometimes just smiling, sometimes laughing) touching. i have tried yelling, very firm but quiet, looking angry---every tone and volume of "no" i can think of, short of being abusive and dammit if he doesn't laugh at me every time. i can't just give in, for obviousl reasons and i understand WHY he is doing this behavior.....but i am not sure how to get him to stop. maybe he likes the reaction too much and since he already KNOWS what he is doing is a "no" maybe i should not give him the satisfaction of the reaction, and just say "no" and redirect him. i'll try that.

he is going to daycare mom wed and fri this week (i need the break, if only because of my bad case of tuberculosis/bird flu) but he isn't going this weekend. nicole, my 17 year old sitter will be watching him here. the weekend day care situation was horrendous, so i am hoping that this works out better. but, it too has the potential for chaos.

well, this is the most boring post ever, i have a headache (that tb/bird flu thing) and dr phil is on. so, thanks for listening.

i was going to write something rude and inappropriate

but i changed my mind. i can do the sign for love and refridgerator. and i peed on mom's foot on purpose. and, i chewed on diaper wipes and spit little pieces out while mom changed my stinky diaper. it was great fun. i am not really sure why she let me. either she is really dumb (she is still trying to give me raisin bread) or it's another one of those "pick your battles" things. i love my popcorn popper walker thing (mommy said she had one when she was little too). that and my phone. love them. LOVE THEM. have a strange fascination with the broom, the vacuum and the plastic wisk. today, when i purposefully touched something i know i am not supposed to touch, mommy yelled "no" and she pointed at me....so you know what i did? that's right---looked right at her and chomped on her finger. that's right, bits, don'choo point at me. mmmm hmmm.

i got 4 post cards from my daddy. i wish he was here. mommy is boring me to death.

school is cool

mommy sure seems to be getting over her guilt over bringing me to school. she brought me to school yesterday even though she called in sick to work. she said she needed to rest. she told me she stayed in bed all day. she has been sick for a loooong time. it's getting old. then she did it again! she brought me to school again today and she doesn't even have to go to work today. she said she would just bring me for a few hours so she can keep getting better and pick up a few things around the house (altho i have all my toys exACTLY where i want them, so she had better not touch them). here is the interesting thing that blew mommy away today.....i didn't cry at all. when she handed me to miss shirley i fussed for half a second, then i wiggled out of miss shirley's arms to get down and started to play. mommy gave me a kiss and that was that. well, i have alot to do and only a few hours before mommy comes to get me, so thanks for visiting and come back again real soon y'all.

baby likes it HOT

mommy gave me 2 scrambled eggs for breakfast this morning with hot salsa. it was the best thing i ever ate. she couldn't feed it to me fast enough. i LOVE scrambled eggs!!!!!!!! but, i was still hungry after those 2 eggs, so she gave me a bowl of cheerios and 1/2 a banana. she also gave me some raisin bread toast, but i heard babies aren't supposed to have raisins, so i didn't eat it for my own safety. i can really pack away the food, man. mmmm mmmm i love to eat.

i have to look out for myself, you know. mommy isn't herself. giving her baby raisin bread. tsk tsk.

i am surprised mommy is holding it together so well. this is supposed to be MY blog, about ME, but i have to talk about mommy a little bit. things are just off to a rocky start without daddy here. mommy is sick....the weekend at day care fiasco....(it was a disASTAH--ha ha). then, the a/c guys came in to do maintanance on the a/c---which had to be done in MY closet, JUST AS SOON AS I GOT TO SLEEP FOR MY NAP! well, the air was working fine till they got here. now it's broke. yikes. pretty hot, too. tee hee. it just keeps getting better and better, don't it ma?

then, mommy decided to bring me to day care today even tho it isn't my normal day (um, yeah, i, um, i'm writing this FROM day care, that's right) because she said she needs to clean up this hell hole and cook some baby food (mommy herself hasn't been able to eat lately, but she is in no danger of blowing away with all that extra she has packed on). so i guess she wanted to talk to michelle, the owner of the day care, but she wasn't in. so, she talked to the lady who was at the desk to express her concern over being called at 5pm on sunday to say she had to pick me up right away because they were closing....you know what that lady said? she didn't apologize or even acknowledge the situation at all! all she said was, "well, we are stopping the weekend care anyways. you were supposed to get a call about that." i was busy playing in the classroom (i got to bring in my pumpkin today), but i bet mommy wanted to reach over and throttle that b-----unprofessional lady.

so, of course all arrangements were made based on this weekend day care. pulled out of the other center, fixed the work schedule, got the babysitter.....well, we'll see what will happen now! maybe nicole will take care of me all weekend. it would be just as well. we can't afford a actual nanny, and i like that nicole anyways.

well, it's time for my snack, so i have to go.

mom lets me eat toilet paper

so mom and me were playing this hysterical game: i picked a little piece of toilet paper off the roll and tried to put it in my mouth. then she would grab it out of my hand and say "don't eat that!" this went on for a few minutes, when finally, she just said, "fine, eat it. it probably won't hurt you--extra fiber for ya" she totally called my bluff. i chewed on the paper for a while, but i couldn't swallow it, so i just spit it out. i guess with mommy not feeling well, she doesn't have the energy to play all my fun games. oh well, her loss.

i don't think it is fair that at one year old i have chores to do. i don't even get an allowance. i have to push my high chair back to the dining room after EVERY SINGLE MEAL, even if while i am pushiing my chair i see something interesting, like a cheerio i left on the ground that i was saving. nope, it's "come on donovan, you have to do you chore" nag nag nag. you think that's it? no. i have to turn off the bathroom light after my bath. EVERY NIGHT. what's up with that, yo? i'm ONE for crying out loud!

me and mommy went to the doctor today and SHE got 2 shots in the hiney and i got NO shots! now she knows how it feels. but she didn't cry. they also put a tube in her mouth and made her breathe in it for a few minutes. it was supposed to help her stop coughing, but it didn't. i don't know what is wrong with her. she has been whispering all the time for days. it is fun when she tries to yell at me.


i spent a lot of time at day care recently. it was tough. the day care was fun on friday, because i like my teachers, but then this strange lady picked me up and i didn't know who she was. then nicole, my babysitter fed me and did everything mommy does before bed, except she didn't let me suck on her boob. then i went to day care early in the morning saturday. i don't think i like the weekends. they keep getting different teachers and i don't know them then saturday night i didn't sleep AT ALL. me and mommy were up all night. mommy was sick and had to work the next day, but what can i say, if i am gonna be up then SHE is gonna be up. it wasn't really fun for either of us, but i was hungry and stressed and i missed my mom and where the heck is my dad??????

then she brought me to day care AGAIN early sunday. man it sucks there on the weekend. well, someone at the day care center called in sick, so they called my mom at work and told her they were closing the day care center, so she needed to come pick me up because i was the only kid there. boy was my mom mad. she couldn't pick me up, but nicole did. i think i am starting to like that nicole. she got me to bed quick because i was so tired.

i am trying to get mom feeling better by getting her to pay more attention to me. see, here is my plan. i know what my rules are and what i am not allowed to touch. most of the time i follow those rules. but since mommy isn't feeling well, i don't think she is giving me that real quality time i crave and my developing mind needs. so, to help her out, i spent a lot of time touching the buttons on the strereo, and the phone cord (i haven't done that one in a looong time) and the mop....oh it was great to have mom pay attention to me. i giggled everytime she tried to yell "no!" and pulled me away from the forbidden fruit. tralalala it was fun.

my mom is so easily impressed. she bought me something called a "pumkin" today, but i thought it was a ball---you know how i love balls! so i was rolling it around and throwing it and it was great fun. mommy said, "this isn't a ball, this is a pumpkin--a kind of squash. do we have any other squashes in the house?" and i went to the dining room and pointed to the bowl of gourds and squash mom has just sitting there not doing anything. god, i think she almost got her voice back she was so excited "oooh donovan, that's right! oooh donovan, you're soooo smart!" whatever lady. you tell me this is a squash and those are squash and then say i'm smart because i just told you what you already know. maybe mommy is a little dumb. i don't know about that woman. but i love her. she's okay. i think i will stay.

well....that's it for now. i miss my dad. i think i heard mommy say she was going to bring me to day care tomorrow so she can clean or sleep or something.

DADDY'S GONE...

well, daddy left today. off to california he is, to make some money. mommy had to read my story and i don't think she did as good a job as daddy. and my hiney hurts a lot. i have a bad rash. damn it. i miss my dad. we went to cracker barrel this morning to take daddy out for breakfast and i ate all mommy's grits and half of her eggs and then she ordered another egg for me. i love grits and eggs!

i also figured out the sign for "i love you" when i was eating my sweet potatoes (which i love). mommy was all excited. i don't actually know what "i love you" means, but i keep doing it because she gets all excited. i also can kind of say hummus (she says that around lunch time, i don't know what that is, but she likes it when i say it) and i can also put my hand down and say "DONE!" when i am eating. i don't know what that means either, so i make sure i open my mouth after i say it so mommy doesn't think i want to stop eating.

i wish mommy would just feed me the crap from the jars for dinner. i don't want her damn fruity chicken with carrots surprise (and i made that abundadntly clear) with freaking QUINOA! give me the jarred stuff. i know she is packing me that chicken crap for school this weekend, but if she is smart she will put a jar of something as a back up.

i love all my breakfast foods. i love all my lunch foods (i had tuna today for the first time, which was good). i don't know why that woman can't get dinner right. well, i will just have to keep explaining it until she gets it.

i went to the big kid park today. it was too crowded.

so, this is the first weekend that i will be in school mommy's whole work shift friday AND saturday AND sunday. mommy is not happy about it and i don't know if i am either. the babysitter's MOM is picking me up from school and i never even met her (that'll go over like a fart in church at the center----"which one is he....") because the babysitter has CHOIR practice. this is the first time for the baby sitter....the first time without mommy for 14 hours. will the sitter give me my bath? how will i get my bath on saturday? on sunday?????? i am getting too upset. i think i am going to have to go now.

another day another poop

today i was very agreeable at breakfast and lunch. i decided to give mommy a break. i had been giving her a really hard time at meal time, so today i just ate. until dinner.....HAHAHAHAHA. she tried to give me applesauce and homemade mac and cheese. i tried some of it to be polite. she didn't think i saw that broccoli she hid in there. i don't really like her mac and cheese. i like the kind at restaurants. anyways....i would't eat it. she finally figured out that i wanted pears (cut up, not sauce) and shredded cheese. it took a LOT of convincing, but she finally got it. i think i will like the power being a toddler yields!!!!

mommy and daddy are teaching me how to say "i love you" in sign language. i have no idea what that means, but i am doing very well at mimicking them and they seem to get a kick out of it.

we went to the park today and the little kid section was torn up so we had to go to the big kid section. i think i fit in very well. i went down 2 of the big slides (with mommy, daddy and some creepy big girl who kept trying to play with me)

i have 3 hives. i have been getting hives occasionally for weeks and my genius parents kept thinking they were bug bites. they would search my room and wash all my sheets. mommy finally realized they were hives. njow all we have to do is figure out what i am allergic to. i think it might be her mac and cheese. (no it's not donovan----maybe it's PEARS--from mommy).

well, it is time for my bath. i am very dirty from my day at the park. i can't wait to go to sleep because i only got one nap and i am beat, man.

today i went to my new day care. it was my second day. it was okay. the kids are not as snot nosed and not one kid has crossed eyes. the other place had at least 2 cross eyed kids. i know where all these body parts are: head, yeys, ears, mouth, nose (and sometimes i stick my finger right up it). also, my tummy, feet and toes. sometimes i remember where my shoulders are and i am figuring out my hands and fingers.

i love "if you're happy andja know it" and" itsy bitsy spider" and"this little piggy (especially the weee weee weee part).

i love my balls.

by that i mean my football abnd my soccer ball. i can hike the ball thru my legs, kick it and roll it and throw it. quite well for a 1 year old, i might add.

when daddy says "what do linebackers do" i tackle him. because linebackers tackle.

i got a new cell phone and i love to put it up to my ear and say "hello". i don't always put it up the right way. and no one knows i am actually saying hello except mom and dad, but that is what i am doing. i do it a lot because it cracks the parents up.

i really need to know how to post pictures.

i like sitting in my new recliner i got for my birthday. i wantch my video before bed. it is the only time mom and dad let me watch tv is to watch a video before bed.

i like milk.

i love my dadada.

i like to say b-gah b-gah b-gah. no one knows what it means but me.

i guess i am going to day care again tomorrow too.

hello? hello? is this thing on?

of course i am going to have to figure out how to post pictures. well, i have things to do right now, so i can't write. i just wanted to see if this thing was on.