the sounds of myoooozik

songs i can sing that other people can recognize them for what they are: all versons of "WHEELS ON THE BUS", "bringing home my babby bumble bee", "b-i-n-g-o anf bingo was his name o" and then i made up a song. can 23 month old babies make up songs? i did. wanna hear it? it goes like this (in b flat major, allegro) "sing some songs sing some songs read a book, read a book" it has a catchy tune.

what are you, a comedian? why yes, yes i am.

so, mommy made something called "chicken and parmedean ravioli" for dinner, but SHE called it "ravioli pillows". so, i made her laugh when i put the ravioli on my cheek and said "night night" she didn't understand at first, so i had to do it again and said "time for night night on the pillow". i slay me sometimes. i am just so freakin witty, i can't even get over myself.

mommy post

so, the little angel is asleep in his crib. no pj's (a potientially large mistake), spread out face down with his arms stretched out. exhausted, the poor dear. but wait, don't get too close or you will smell the faint smell of.....puke.

it's been a rough one. pickd him up from day care extra early yesterday because i was really missing him since i didn't really see him all weekend. well, he was cranky and whiney and just, well, lets say i was reconsidering the merit of my earlier decision to pick him up early. i thought he was being a turd because i messed up his routine---he LOVES his routine. he was just difficult all night. even on the phone with the grandparents i mentioned he was being difficult today.

it's distressing because in genreal, he is not a difficult child. he is getting into the whole "two's thing" and he is certainly more difficult than he USED to be, there are sure moments, but in general he is a sweet good kid. on the rare occasions he gets like this, i immediately think "oooh this is the new donovan. it must be a developmental thing. oh no, we are stuck with this monster of a kid forever" however, 100% of the time when he acts unrecognizable icky, he is sick!

it took me a while to get to that. he didn['t sleep last night. but, there was no fever, no complaints of booboos, really no indication besides crying and whining (and crying without tears which i take less seriously, until i worry about dehydration).. tossed and turned and whined all night.

then the non stop crying for hours. well, i was supposed to have my 3rd interview at zimmer today (yes, third---whateve---this is donovan's blog, i won't go there here). i had decided something is not only wrong, but VERY wrong and i had to take him to the doctor immediately. let's see, i had diagnosed him with acute kidney failure (i couldn't remember the last peepee diaper and there were no tears in his crying) then i was sure he had that plum pit stuck in him and he would need a temporary colostomy to repair the damage it was going to his intestines. then i considered some rare musculo-sketelal disorders, i am not sure what my rational was there. but he was crying and it was an emergency.

fortunately, these pediatricians we have just walk on water as far as i'm concerned. they are excellent with the kid, amazing at dealing with crazy moms while making her feel that she did the absolute right thing by bringing him in (even tho once, it was several mosquito bits and not the allergic hives reaction i swore it was). actually, the doc also seemed concerned. she was even talking about getting a ct of his abdomen and stuff. i don't know why she did a throat culture since he has had no fever and she said his throat wasn't even red. well, she comes back a few minutes later saying he had a raging strep infection and is probably feeling terrible. a shot of pennicilin later, we are in the grocery store buying popsicles, which he loved. he barfed 4 or 5 times which i guess is normal for little kids and babies with strep. he did barf on the doctor, but she stuck a q-tip down his throat so what do youexpect.

more tomorrow. gotta go to work and i am sleepy.

oh the reason for the no pj's and the puke smell is that he fell asleep at 5:30 and his bed time routine doesn't even start till 8. so, even tho he isn't convered in puke, the is a reminiscence. and he happened to had just had a diaper change before crashing so he had no clothes on. i didn't have the heart to wake him up, hopefully, since my ultra-regimented son sleeps 9 hours a night, he won't wake up at 1:30 ready for the day. oh god help me.

a rather eventful day (said in the voice of pooh)

hey--guess what! i got a potty!!!!!!! MY VERY OWN POTTY!!!!!!! i can't believe how excited i am! i kept going in the bathroom and sitting on it. most of the time i had my diaper on, but sometimes it was off. mommy says i should just have fun sitting on it. i did pee on it once. not in it, on it. but it IS my first day. momma kept the bathroom door open so i could go it whenever i wanted. then, at bed time, she closed the door and i was whining and pushing the door open telling her i wanted to sit on donovan's little potty but she said "tomorrow" oh man, i just can't believe i have my own potty.

and tonight, in the bath, mommy decided i should start learning to drink from a big boy cup so she decided the best place would be in the bath tub. now, i really love to drink bath water. look, don't knock it till you try it, okay? there is the added bonus of it bugging the crap out of mom. but mommy made me something called camomille tea and said i could practice drinking in the tub. it was pretty good, but then i realized it was MORE fun to dump the tea into the water and then....drink the bath water! mommy said she hadn't decided whether this experiment was a success or a failure, because when i drank from the cup, i did very well and spilled little--tea OR bath water.

oh yeah....i made mommy completely fuh-REAK out today. she gave me a plum and then she couldn't find the pit, which she usually snags from me pretty early on and i told her "yes" when she asked if i swallowed it. (i say "yes" to many questions i don't understand so i don't look dumb) so she called the hospital to see if i was going to be okay, because they have pointy edges that can cut my intestines (yeah, i have no idea what i am saying here, just repeating what the crazy old lady was saying) and she said she was SURE i was going to need emergency surgery because she didn't think i could pass the pit without harming my insides. while she was waiting for the nurse to call back she found the pit. she said she is going to keep it as a reminder to be more careful.

fortunately, the pit-lady has to work this weekend. it has been 2 weeks since i have seen my fiance, tiffani, but she will be spending the weekend with me while i have the house to myself. just don't tell megan. i can't help it if i'm a playah, yo---the ladies love me!

daddy is coming home soon!

PS: we got a new kitchen table and kitchen chairs and mommy wouldn't let either of us touch it. she was saying something like "something in this damn house is going to stay clean for one day" i'm not sure but i think "damn" is one of those words, like "foul ass" that if i say, it gets a big reaction from mommy. i was just agreeing with mom while she was changing my diaper. mommy swears (um, yeah) she is trying to watch her mouth. she's trying, i know she is. it's cute, really.

auntie karen's going to a tofu festival.

i won't even address the title. what needs to be said? mamma puts it in my mac and cheese like i don't know.

so, these days, i want to sleep with the light on. i'm not afraid of the dark---i'm not afraid of anything (well, maybe when the vacuum gets turned on, fortunately, that rarely happens), i just want the light on. just because i do. don't go saying i'm afraid of the dark either. i just like to keep an eye on things when i wake up at night. make sure my stuff is still in the same place. i have everything where i want it. books in a pile, bath towel on the floor. i like it that way. i have conceded to wearing my pajama shirt. that was a phase.

my vocabulary as well as my ability to create complex sentences out of complex thoughts continues to grow and astound mamma (and everyone around me) and for the second time, i actually answered a question 2 days ago. i mean, with an answer, not a yes or no like i have been to do for years. i was crying, my babysitter who is really my teacher, had just left and mamma said, "what's wrong??? why are you crying??" and i said "miss megan go bye bye" i mean, i am still planning on marrying tiffani, but that megan has some mad book reading skills and i was really enjoying it and didn't want her to leave. besides, i was pretty mad at mom. every so often these days she drops me off at school before they open (i mean, we have to wait around for someone to come unlock the door), then, i stay there even after all the other kids are gone, and my teacher, who closes the school, takes me to my house in her car. then i hang out with her and she gives me my bath and all that till mamma gets home. it's hard because i am glad she came home--i keep thinking she might never come back. but then i am so mad at her. but i don't let her know i am glad she is home. i don't look at her, or talk to her, i just instruct megan to continue reading my book. i figured out that was why mamma was putting me in day time clothes sometimes at night. because she just takes me out of my crib and puts me in the car seat before i even know what hit me. i love school and i am learning a lot (i can pick out ANYTHING blue and i know a few letters and i can sing "wheels on the bus" a song mamma didn't even know) but i think that for a child my age, that is too long to be at school. i have said before that mamma does things that aren't good, and so far my pleas for help have been ignored. i mean, isn't there someone who can give HER a time out at the Wall for being naughty? where is HER mommy? i think HER mommy should give her The Wall for making me stay at school so long, staying away from ME so long, not letting me go outside when i tell her i want to. and don't even get me started on dada. i will make mamma give HIM the Wall when he gets back for staying away so long.

well, i forgot what i was going to write about. this wasn't it. so, thanks for stopping by and reading this.

PS mommy said she is going to buy me a potty

aah fantasies

mommy is worried about me. she said she needs to find a book about people my age, because she doesn't know what to make of me. am i crazy (a distinct possibility considering my parents) a genius (also a possibility) or just a drama queen (not sure where that would come from)


now, mommy is always worried about me so i can't worry about mommy's wory of the moment. i have bveen complaining of a lot of specific boo boos lately. today in the bath i said i had a tummy ache. see, mom hasn't taught me that word and i don't hear her using it to describe herself, so she's all freaking out about do i really have a tummy ache and made me show her where i thought my ache was (um, i pointed to my tummy). then she started bitchin about not drinking the bath water because that won't help the tummy ache. but it did, mom. it helped. it was exactly what i needed. you drink tea sometimes. my infusion was warm steeped lavender soap with pee pee essence. i love it, it's my favorite. that is why i am always sucking the washclothes.

then there was a block on thr floor and mommy asked me to put it away and there was an "H" on the side facing up, so i said "aych" and mama was like "huh!!!!" say that again, what is thaT? who told you that ? oooooh. i remembered the "H" i didn't know any other letters she flung at me after saying one right. she is so freaking weird. she got all weird when the timer when off on the microwave and i said "ok to open microwave" and she was like "hey, i never taught you that word! you are a genius! "oh and on and on she went. ahe ahould be smart enought to know that i LISTEN to everything. i spit things back that i remember when appropriate. now, i might be a genius indeed. however, i just don't think these little tricks qualify.
mamma repeated the trick she did several days ago: packing lots of food and dressing me in comfy day clothes to put me to bed. well, here we go again. only this time i know what's up. she is going to take me fully dfressed, befoere i wake up into the cvar and bring me to school where i get to spend 12 hours and 15 minutes there. then my teacher, ms. megan (mmmmmmmmmmm ms. megan.)
















oh sorry. i was just thinking about ms megan and forgot myself. anyways, i bring ms. megan back to my place after school and we have a little dinner, a little whine, nice bubble bath.....then it's off to bed. oh yeah. i mean, after i put away my books and brush my teeth. shut up. i am NOT too young to think like that. she rocks me to sleep and then i see her again the next day. hopefully momomy comes home before i am asleep.

i DON'T have a problem.

so for the last 2 nights whilst getting PJ's on, i have insisted on not wearing a top. i don't know how other 22 month old kids communicate, but i made my point loud. and. clear. no shirt. shorts. socks, if you insist (mom thinks because HER feet are always cold then mine must be, too, so it's socks at the oddest time). no shirt.

mom said she was putting on PJ's but i noticed that they weren't really PJ's, they were more like sweat shorts and a t shirt (as you know, the t shirt stayed off). i didn't completely understand why she would dress me in day time clothes when she just bought me a bunch of new PJ's. hmmmmm. i am suspicious, she also packed 2 days worth of breakfasts, lunches, several snacks and dinners. something is definitely up.

i like drugs. yeah. it's true. i do. look, don't knock it till you have tried any brand of children's motrin, okay? i saw mom chugging out of the children's benedryl once--she won't let me have that, but i have a connection and i am gonna get hooked up, man. till then, it's motrin. i have it figured out, too. last night she gave me motrin because she said i felt "warm". well, tonight, in the bath, i pulled my hair and said i had a booboo in my hair and i needed medicine. i really said that. (it sounded like "oooow, gah boo boo in da hah. need meh-sin?) mamma was like, "well um, don't pull your hair, goof ball" so, then i pulled out my ace in the hole. i started tugging on my ear and said "gah boo boo in da eeeah" since i am prone to ear infections, i know homegirl doesn't mess around with ear stuff. yup. got my motrin. suckah!

last night, when i wanted MORE motrin, after i got the first dose, i said i had a boo boo in the eye. mom said i was full of balony and just wanted more medicine and medicine was serious stuff, not dessert. so, i didn't get more. then, when i got to school today, one of my teachers said "what is wrong with his eye? look, it looks like he has a little bit of a black eye?"

i am almost 2 years old. i have been around the block--holding mom's hand, but still, it counts. i know how to man-ip-u-late a situation, especially when it comes to the old lady's guilt. that eye boo boo should be good for a few doses. unless she reads this and is on to me. i also said i had a back boo boo yesterday which freaked mom out a little because she thought it was odd that i would actually put my hand on my back and day "oooh, got a boo boo on the back"

i can stop the motrin whenever i want.

PS: tiffani combed my hair the other day so now mom started combing my hair, all parted on the side and i think i look like that booger-eating kid on the simpson's. this will not be tolerated.