didn't waste much time sinking to the bottom

aaaahh....my mother. i remember when i was in her belly her saying all kinds of things she would never do as a mother. or, more precisely, because she has realistic tendencies (at best), things she would hold off on aslong as she can. gosh, even i, fruit of her looms, thought she would be good for 3 or 4 years before becoming Like EveryOne Else.

i guess it started a few months back with the chicken mcnugget happy meal. no. it started back last fall when i was sick and she gave me (gasp!) juice. i still don't get juice very much and i haven't had chicken mcnuggets since, but oh what a slippery slope....the dam has been broken.

why she decided at my delicate age of 20 months to break me into chuck e. cheese i don't know. was it sick curiosity? did they want to see if the pizza was good? we were not invited to a party there. it was me, mamma and dada at chuck e. cheese. in any event, we went. and man oh man did i like it. turns out i am NOT too young for chuck. liked the big mouse and his friends singing up on stage.....liked the kiddy cars that ran for 20 seconds on each token. i swiped a little ball from the baby skee ball.

so. i am not even 2 yesrs old and already i have had juice (which mother said was unnecessary for children), happy meal and chuck e. cheese. what else have i done. i think dada has put in one of my videos so that he could take a shower. hmmm....i know i pretty much get one video, once a day, but that still sounds like Using The Television As A Babysitter to me.

oh, i think at least once or twice i have gotten food in a public place to make me quiet down in a public place. i really lke fruit and i am not so much into junk food, so it's tough in the grocery store when mom tries to hand me a cracker or cookie or something, but all i really want is the mango or the banana. she won't let me have the banana because she says they need to weigh them, but once i see them in the cart, i usually get pretty insistent.

hot dogs. there is another weird thing. mamma doesn't eat hot dogs. in her entire adult life, unless someone ELSE brought them over for a barbeque has there ever been a package of hotdogs in her fridge. she doesn't eat them, doesn't like them and certainly would never give such a choking hazard to a child under 3. right? another case of "let's just get them to see if he likes them?" or "let's see how high we can get his sodium and cholesterol before he starts kindergarden?" i don't know what she is thinking. anyway. she bought them. not only did she buy them, but when i wouldn't eat them, she gave them to me a few times until i decided i loved them. she cut them into thin strips and not round shapes, so there was no choking problems.

gosh. i have very bad parents.

an open letter to ms. jodi

it is true, ms. jodi (we southerners call lady adults "miss" if we are permitted to use her first name) that i haven't written in a while. you see, i am a toddler. i started this blog when i was a baby. and, you see, when i was a baby, i was kind of dumb. let's face it, babies are kind of dumb. i wasn't DOING a lot of things, so i had time to write more. now that i am a toddler, which is latin for "short adult", i think, i am very smart and busy. i have bikes to ride, fits to have, cats to scare.....i go bye bye a lot.....of course, what toddler life is complete without reading and playing with a truck? i read a lot. often i read the same book over and over and over and over and over again. only because mamma and dada like to. i have this doggy book i really like (dada calls it 101 dalmations but i call it doggy book) and we will read it. then, when it is done, i hand it to him and say "more doggy book". i usually have to cry a little too. what i am trying to say to him is, "dad, i like this book, i would like you to put this book away and go buy me another book about dogs" but as we know, dada isn't very smart, so all he does is just read the book to me again. by then i just give up, sit there and listen to the same story AGAIN because he seems to want to, but, those grown-ups never understand what i mean. maybe you could help them understand me better since mamma says you work with kids. i'd appreciate that.

i really would like to make a better effort at writing in the blog more often. brilliant and amusing things are NOT being documented. mamma even says often, when i say or do something particularly clever (or naughty) that it should get in the blog, but then i just don't get around to it. altho, 9 times out of 10, every time i try to get near the computer they make me not touch it anyways. even this morning, i said soemthing that make mamma and dada crack up and dada said "oh, that is going inthe blog!" and i'll be damned if i can remember----oh wait, oh jeez....i just remembered what it was....it wasn't that funny. some reference was made during my breakfast of grits and eggs about me being a southern boy (helLO---i'm from caliFORNIA!) and mamma said "can you say y'all?" so i said "y'all" big freaking deal. i say meatball, pine cone, and complete sentences with verbs in them. "y'all" isn't that hard for me. i don't see what the fuss was about. they are weird those 2.

talk about easy words....i am learning the concept of "mine"--as well as the word. i don't use that beautiful word to it's fullest capacity yet, altho, with time, i know i will maximize it, but sometimes it flows from my genius lips. last time, it was when i wanted something off mom's plate. mom always has better food than me.

well, my deart ms. jodi.....don't delete me. i will try to post more often. you really ARE missing a lot by me not getting my autobiography down, as it happens, so i am grateful for the reminder. until we meet again, mon petit chou......

random thoughts

so, momma and dada got bikes, with a cool seat and helmet for me and we have been riding every day. sometimes mamma even rides her bike to work! i love riding bikes. mamma got a new backpack for me today, the ergo baby carrier. i like it better than the sling she used to carry me in and the back packs we tried using. we are moving into my new house that they bought for me. i love running around in it and yelling because it makes my voice sound cool. i can say over 50 words and even several sentences. the other day mamma said, "donovan, are you ready to take a bath" and i said "no" and she said "what do you mean, no?" and i said "i mean no mamma" and she thought this was funny for some reason. i went into the pool and i wasn't afraid. not even a little. well. this wasn't too interesting, but so what. i am going to make mamma try karen's couscous recipe. mmmmmmmmmm

since when do i use capital letters

Well, today I figured out how to really impress Daddy. Mind you, I did this with a sore throat and fever, so it's all the more impressive (pain means nothing to me...except when I'm feverish and Daddy pours water on my back in the tub, or uses diaper wipes on me...cold equals boo-boo!!!) Alright, ready for the impressive thing I did? I said "running back!!!" Then I said "quarterback" and "wide receiver." Then, I pointed to running backs in my football book, and then I went and grabbed my little football and ran around the house with it. I've never seen Daddy so excited. He said something about getting me an agent. I don't have any idea what that is, but usually I get toys or books and I like those, so whatever Daddy wants to get me I'm glad to have, and probably not share with anyone. I've also decided it's time to start messing with Mom and Dad's heads. Since I've become an expert at saying "no" I've decided it would be fun to respond to all questions that way, even when I really mean "yes." Drives the old folks batty!!! I'm becoming really independent too. Yesterday, we went for a walk in my stroller, until I decided that they didn't know where they were going, so I should push it instead. But they wouldn't stop touching and trying to steer for me. They kept talking about "not in the road" and "stay on the sidewalk." People, please!!! I've got this driving thing handled, and if you insist on touching my ride I'm gonna pitch a fit every freakin' time. Well, Daddy says since I'm sick I better go to bed, so I'm signing off for now. He thinks he's got me handled, but wait until HE gets a sore throat from sharing his smoothie with me today. Then he'll see who really wears the diapers in this family. Peace out!!!

hot

in the beach pictures. you should know that it wasn't a windy day. i just have so much sunscreen in my hair that it is sticking up.

mom did what she swore she woudn't do for a few years. i got a happy meal. yup. see, i thought chicken nuggets were these soy things mommy somtimes cooks at home. she thought i couldn't chew them because i was a baby, but the truth is i just don't like them. turns out REAL chicken nuggets are pretty freaking good. with ranch dressing.

i discovered i looooooove ranch dressing. i don't really like barbeque sauce---altho i could SAY it perfectly. i said "barbeque hot" i usually say something is hot when i don't like it. i think that is because "hot" means bad or yucky. when mom doesn't watch me to touch something, like her coffee or the stove she always yells "NO!!! HOT! don't touch!" so i guess hot means bad. so when i don't like something, i usually spit it out and say it is hot.

makes sense, right?

a boy, his sippy cup and the beach

i figured out how to post some of my beach pictures. my new sippy cup is cool. i just found out my 2nd cousin lindsay is in town working and is going to visit me tomorrow. i have never met her, but mom is excited. by the way, the nose picking thing.....i was just messing around with mom for a few days with that. i haven't done it in a day or 2. you see, i really did have an itch on my brain.

paaaaah blehblehbleh (strawberries)

here are some pictures for y'all. i am trying to get some pictures of when i went to the beach----dada took some good shots, but alas you will have to settle for my strawberry picking. did i tell you i have a new bed time? 9pm. yup. get to stay up late like a big kid. i think it is because i am a big kid now. mamma said it was because they were sick of getting up at 5am every day, so now that i stay up till 9, i sleep till 6:20. 5am....6am....it's all the same to me. i am happy i get to stay up later---AND i am down to one nap. here are some pictures of me.





the outside potty is gone. we don't get to keep that

i am THAT kid

you know, the kid who just sits there observing everything with his finger so far up his nose, like his brain has an itch. yup that is me. the first couple times i did it, mom laughed, but for some reason, she doesn't think it is funny any more. i can't understand these people. funny one day. not funny the next day. there's consistency for ya.

went to the pool today. not too sure about the water. went to the beach the other day. no WAY was i going in THAT water. i got used to the water in the pool (at our new house---we don't have a pool in our yard, but there is a big club house with a cool pool in it). mommy and daddy each took one of my hands and pulled me across the pool. and i went "WWoooooooah!" i even said "mamma dadda, 'wwhooooah' water" to tell them i wanted to do it.

i can say a whole bunch of things i didn't even tell you yet, and i am not going to right now either. and you can't make me. nnnnnyah.

me talks good

mommy says i am in my "terrible two's". i don't know what that means, but i will say that mom and dad have been annoying me a lot lately, and let me just say---i am not afraid to tell them about it. oooooooh, they are so much bigger than me. who cares, man. they can't push ME around. i am a big boy, i am independent, i know what i want and i am not afraid to ask for--nay--DEMAND it! i am not a little baby any more and i just wish they could get it thru their heads. if that what it means to be in the terrible two's then just call me T2. hey, i just thought of that. maybe that could be my street name. (you can't believe how big i am--i need a street name) T2. yeah, i kind of like that.

we are moving into a new house.

i can talk real good. (not so much in the grammar, but real good nonetheless). i know, and can point to on command my: hair, head, eyes, ears, nose, cheeks, mouth, teeth tongue, elbow, hands, tummy, butt, penis, legs, feet, toes.

i am obsessed with trucks. all trucks, but especially dump trucks. i also like mom's shoes and figured out how to stick my finger up my nose.

i ask to touch every thing "touch bird?" "touch truck?" "touch tree?"

i know zebra, kitty cat, doggy, monkey, lion, bug, butterfly and lizard.

i love ariplanes.

i am trying to reach tiffani, so i will write more later.

oooh la la, oui oui

wow....it has been a long time since i've posted. maMA (that is my french accent, by the way) is working a night shift tomorrow in the seventh level of hell, so she is staying up late tonight, drinking big cans of "energy drinks" so she can sleep tomorrow during the day so she can stay up all night tomorrow. tonight she is cooking so daddy can stop feeding me cottage cheese 3 times a day.

so, i told you about my french accent. i say maMA and when i say "no no no" i really make my lips into a tight "o" and get the whole nasally sound to it. i think it is very sophisticated and makes me sound older, but for some reason, maMA just laughs at me. today i learned how to say "wine". i think when i grow up i will be french.

my vocabularry is amzingly advanced. altho it continues to be my only parents who can understand many of my words, i would say i have a vocabulary of around 50 words. no shit. i can also put some words together. "pop bubbles." "all done bath" (i can say all done then lots of things) and "bye bye mama", while i cling to my dada.

yeah. seems every day i am more into dada. mama is this mysterous person who leaves several days a week and then when she IS home it seems she is alsways cooking dinner. well geez---dada doesn't go to work OR cook dinner AND he takes me to the park. who do you think i would rather be with. and me and dada go outside and look for lizards (nyo-nyo in my language) i am not the least bit concerned that i am breaking my mother's heart every time i don't go to her.

obsessed with strawberries these days. "paaaaahblehblehbleh"

over the whole vacuum thing. still loves balls (including the ones....never mind). love trucks, cars, birdies. and saying "vroom vroom vroom" don't tell anyone, but i kind of like pooh bear too. does that make me a pansy?

also, i moved to the Older One's classroom. and guess what? the teacher quit, so they moved the teacher i HAD into that class. so i got to keep the same teacher, who i totally love. tiffani, my weekend babysitter, who i also love, comes and visits me. so....i get to see my 2 favorite ladies still. not as much as i used to. but i am going to marry one of them, that is why i am working on my french accent, to impress them.

we are going to be moving into a new house pretty soon. they are just about done working on it dada says. i go and supervise about once a week. keep those workers on their toes.

my aunt kendra had 2 babies on st patrick's day. so now i have 3 cousins....shea, auryn and cian.

must end now. maMA has to clean the kitchen because energy drink or not, she is getting very sleepy.

bye bye boobs

the computer is fixed.....aaaaaaaah.

well, mom and dad took me in the car for about 10000 hours to go to florida to see the grandparents and the greats. and some other relatives and neighbors too. but you know what the coolest thing about it was? i ate alligator. deep fried, but alligator nonetheless. and i liked it.

also, i am putting together complex thoughts. mom is not letting me nurse much any more (maybe 3 times in 2 weeks---how mean), so now i pull out her shirt, stick my hand down there and say "bye-bye boob" i do this a lot. today, when mom was chasing me around the house trying to make me eat lunch and she FINALLY got off my back and left i said "bye-bye pasta" see how smart i am????

i can say probably 30 or more words. yup.. genius. and yes....drinking from a sippy cup since about 8 months old. working on a regular cup.

i am really really really super duper into dada lately. since mom ain't giving up the goods (i.e. jugs), i haven't had much interest in her. i want dada to do everything. mom says things like "fine. hell with both of ya, i don't care" do you think that is true? do you think mom doesn't care about us and wants us to go to hell? i think momma should watch what she says. i am an impressionable sponge. i hear and understand everything. yes, mother, even when you say The F Word, which by the way, i think you should knock off. you say it a lot.

i really miss my babysitter Tat (mom calls her tiffani). i don't know why she doesn't come around any more. is it because my dad is here? i think i might see her tomorrow which i am very excited about. i love her very much.

well, mom's ambien must be kicking in so, i mean, um, well, i want some vegan muffins. who watched my video?

beach pictures or....i eat sand, too!

the genius and his vibrator

i just got the coolest thing. it's this vibrating bristling thing that i put in my mouth. mom calls it an electric toothbrush. it has b'ga b'ga (balloons) on it. it is very cool. i can turn it off and on all by myself. yeah. it's awesome. my vibrator. i'm awesome.

hey jodi....i can drink from a sippy cup. does that count? it IS a cup. i can drink from a regular non sippy cup, but i usually choke on whatever i drink and wear most of it. i am working on it. FOR YOU, by the way. i mean, i haven't had a bottle since i was maybe 8 months old. mom is being VERY VERY VERY stingy with the boobs. i suspect it might be your fault. hmmmm.

there is also more talk about putting me a new classroom in school. i don't know. on the one hand....the kids in my class seem to be getting younger every day. some of these kids have these things they keep in their mouths that they suck on all the time. what is up with THAT? but i like the toys in my class and i love miss chastity and miss loretta....why would they try to get rid of me? i don't know. i know i am their favorite. it's stressful even thinking about it. i mean, if i am with bigger kids, what do they learn? do i have to know how to read? use the potty? it's for 18 months to 2 year olds. 2 year olds are like grown ups, right? can 2 year olds drive?

i can say balloons (b'ga b'ga)....and i am starting to be able to put multiple words together. what else can i say? onion. banana. computer. potty. broom. cheese. teeth. i still cannot say "no" which mommy finds strange. (oh i can shake my head tho) nor can i say milk, thirsty, or eat, which mom is going to try to teach me the signs for. there are more words i can say but i can't remember. i am so a genius. AM SO AM SO AM SO AM SO!!!!!!!!!!!!

if you put me in my jail i will not sleep

haha. i love it when things mom does backfires. does that make me a bad person? mom decided to try the "time-out" method of disciplining me. when i do something naughty, she puts me someplace for a minute (oooh--a whole minute because she read that a minute a year is how long to calculate a time out. what a dork) where i have to stay. true, she tried to get me to just sit facing a wall, but i didn't listen and she couldn't enforce it. and she couldn't put me in my crib....and besides....we are downstairs most of the time.

enter my "pack & play". fits next to the couch....she can toss me in it when i am naughty (with a perfect view of the TV because mom is such a genius) and STILL not miss a minute of dr. phil.

now mom and dad are thinking about visiting people. gram and gramps in florida being the first trip on the list. hmmmmm...what will the baby sleep in? can't be MY JAIL because i associate that with being In Trouble. so, mom is trying to figure it out. i bet they end up with another pack and play in another color to try to fool me beasue they think i am dumb. HELLO---i can eat with a spoon----i am not dumb!

i can write in my sleep

well, i woke up a little early this morning and who came to get me out of my crib? DA-DA!!!!!!!!!! by the time mommy came out of the shower, i had fallen back fast asleep on daddy's chest in the bed. mommy came out of the shower and saw and i think she said it was the most beautiful thing she ever saw. mmmmm. snuggly warm daddy who i missed so much......i love sleeping on you........mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

no title. i can't think of one

well i am sick again, dammit. i don't care if i am swearing either. besides, i asked mom about the body parts inmy diaper and she told me what they all were, so i think that qualifies me for legally being able to swear. i will go to the doctor tomorrow to see what is plaguing me this time. probably another ear infection. mom said that her friend who is a chiropractor could possibly adjust the ear infections out of me. hmmmmmm. yeah, well, we'll see. if i know my mom the fruit loop, she will try it.

daddy is coming home friday.

hip hip hooray.

noodle noodle noodle noodle

more words i forgot i could say....
moon,
star,
uh-huh-uh-huh (as in, that's the way uh-huh i like it)
spoon (nope, not cup)
i know there are more. i am verbose. i will concede that usually it is mother who knows what i am saying. to you it might sound like gibberish.
today i said "all done bath"
daddy's coming home in 4 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

why did it have to be THAT sentence

well, my buddy conor has taken his first steps (yay) and i have said my first....what would you call it....complete sentence, i guess. i knew "all done"---i've known that for months. and well, i guess it is no secret that i still breast fed at 16 1/2 months (altho much less than i would like dammit).

well, now i can say "all done boobs" and put momma's shirt down. it IS developmentally significant that i put these words together so i don't care what you think about it. i am a genius. i love my mot-mot. and carrying around an old lace table runner. '
go seahawks.

getting to know you....

today i wouldn't eat the frittata mom made for dinner because i am a pain in the butt. mom has decided she is not offering me 6 different things if i am in a picky mood so she just said "never mind, don't eat, you won't starve" man i HATE it when she calls my bluff. so i started grabbing at the "ba" (which is the boobs to the uninitiated) because, well, i was hungry. so she fed me yogurt and penne pasta (i can say pasta by the way) while watching my baby eintein video. she said not to get in the habit of this eating in front of the t.v. business, but i don't know, i found it to be enjoyable and efficient.

here are some of the words i can say: pasta, up, down, off, on (off and on are the same word but mom knows which one i mean) ball, watch, bubbles, lasagna, bye-bye, mamma and dadda of course, monkey (mot-mot), outside (na-na), pen, bath, blocks (very reminscent of "ball"), broccoli (well, sort of), bike (also very much like ball). box, (also sounds like ball). strangely enough i cannot utter the word "no" altho i can shake my head. i can sort of say "buckle" (as in what straps me into the car seat), hair, and of course, vacuum (which sounds like pffffft). oh, and "all done" and "what's that"...potato (sort of) and i can't think of any other words. i copy a lot of what mom says. as i have said before, since i am such a busy person, i rarely actually finish the word. but, if i say the first part and you know what i mean, why waste time finishing the words, right? i am an effcient boy.

my auntie karen said i had to answer a questionaire in my blog. it is pretty dumb, but i will do it:

1. What color are your kitchen plates? i have bowls. plastic. red ones, blue ones green ones, purple ones
> > 2. What book are you reading now? "barnyard dance" by sandra boynton

> > 3. What's on your mouse pad? i don't understand......
> > 4. What's your favorite board game? i have board books that have flaps. that's like a board game.

> > 5. Favorite magazine? the ones that are more like newsprint are easier to chew than the heavy shiny paged ones. i am afraid of cutting my lip on the shiny ones, so i will say the newprint kind

> > 6. Favorite smell? mommy's ba
> > 7. Least favorite smell? the bubbles i make in the tub
> > 8. What's the first thing you think of in the morning? oh god where is my mommy? is she ever going to come get me?!?!?! MOMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYY

> > 9. Favorite color?definitely yellow
>> 10. Least favorite color? i don't like the yellow bath crayon because i can hardly see it when i draw in the tub. so, yellow.
> > 11. How many rings before you answer the phone? i can't count. but i CAN use my own hand as a phone, which makes it very convenient for making calls. i don't get too many tho on it...

.
> > 12. Future children's names? mot mot and mamma!

> > 13 Favorite alcoholic drink? >i have been trying to get at my dad's beer my whole freaking life.
> > 14 What is your sign and birthday? september 20. i know the sign for refridgerator and i love you.
> > 15. Do you eat the stems of broccoli? no. i don't spit them out tho. i just open my mouth and let them fall out. spitting is rude.

> > 16. If you could have any job what would it be? breast pump

> > 17. If you could have any color hair what would it be? yes, i'd love a hair color

> 18. Is the glass half full or half empty ? it depends if ican reach it or not! if i can reach it it will be ALL empy in a minute

> >
> > 19. Favorite movie? altho i like several of the baby eintein series, baby beethoven, is really a timeless classic

> > 20. Do you type with the right fingers on the keys? yes. i do everything right. i am a genius. mommy says so.

> > 21. What's under your bed? what do you mean under my bed? is that where momsters are?

> > 22. What is your favorite number? that is a dumb-ass question
> > 23. What is your single biggest fear? well, it WAS that mommy wouldn't come get me in the morning, but now you got me thinking about what could be under the bed....

> > 24. Person(s) most likely to respond? to what?
> > 25. Person(s) most likely not to respond? i don't' understand
> > 26. Favorite song? bringing home my baby bumbebee
> > 27. Favorite TV show? the today show because people clap for me
> > 28. Ketchup or mustard? neither
> > 30. Favorite soft drink? whole milk
> >
> > 31. The best place you have ever been? under mommy's shirt
>
> > 32. Favorite High School Subject? i like going outside and climbing in school
> >
> > 33. What screen saver is on your computer right now? i can say computer: k-pa k-pa



> > 34. Burger king or McDonald's? i saw burger king playing football on tv
> >
> > 35. Favorite pet: rambo hisses at me and cleo lets me pet her and kiss her, so cleo.

i told you i eat toilet paper

well, i guess i must not have had enough of the delicious dinner mommy made for me. i had salmon, that i picked up with my fingers (this is some good stuff yo) and then mommy put spinach, rice, and a little quinoa and pine nuts (anything for a little extra iron) in the food processor and yes, i ate it by myself with a spoon and it was also very delicious. mom was glad i liked it because i am getting pickier about what i eat these days. i thought ravioli was better as hair ornamentation yesterday than dinner.

toilet paper is still the best dessert tho.

i have 4 teeth coming in right now including 3 molars but i am not cranky about it.

yesterday i bit and hit mommy and now she says she has to buy a book on disciplining toddlers. jeez...does she buy a book for everything? i think so. and at school i pinched a kid who (USED TO) takes toys from me. i will be graduating soon to the big kids class. the teachers assured mommy i was not becoming an aggresive kid and this was normal baaehavior but mom is not happy about it. well, she'll buy a book and make me perfect. riiiiiiiiiiiiiight hooo hooo hooo ha ha ha haaaa

lots of posts today