it's windy outside

so we got our christmas tree. this year, we got a pretend one instead of a real one. it came out of a box and it already had lights on it. but i got to decorate it. i was very happy to do that because i broke mom's favorite ornament 5 minutes after the decorations came out of the attic. she didn't even have to yell at me. i cried as soon as i broke it. but, she let me hang ornaments that were not breakable. except the south park ones. they are breakable and had to go on the back of the tree, but i was allowed to hang them. i am also very excited about the snow globe my mom has. she said it was her mommy's.

we are eating a lot of turkey soup, which i love. except today we went to fridays. me and mommy and daddy went out with sue and debbie, who i love very much. of course, we did have turkey soup for dinner. with cranberry sauce.

i have decided i want to go to astronaut school. i really really really want to be an astronaut.

also, today i learned how to read. of course, i can read everything, but the words mommy drew on the tub that i sounded out were cup, tub, tug, cat and rocket. it was very very very hard. but, now i can read. astronauts have to know how to read.

also, in 2 weeks i am going on a plane to see a bunch of people. i am going to ask the plane driver if we can also drive to the moon instead of new york and i think he will take me.

what does mommy mean, "is he going to end up one of those people?"

i've discovered video games. i kind of feel like you all have been keeping this cool thing from me. so, i am a little mad at all of you. this is better than movies, better than playing with toys, better than going to school, better than my mommy and daddy. better than anything. certainly better than blogging. so. if you all will excuse me, i have to go rescue all the pieces of the moon so the sea turtles can find their way into the ocean. why didn't i know about this sooner?

why i will have no trouble getting women later in life

my room is newly decorated. pictures if i can figure it out.

the scene: mommy and me at the mellow mushroom, having lunch. me across the table from mom.

mom; hey donovan, don't you want to come sit next to mommy?

me: no, mommy. i can see your pretty face better from here.

happy birthday!

fABULOUS WEEK, OTHER THAN NOT BEING ABLE TO POST PICTURES.

Fabo thing one: barack obama is president of the world!

Fabo thing 2 : today is auntie karen's birthday!!!!!

Fabo thing 3: i can fly like a beautiful butterfly.

problem one: i am not allowed to write on anything that isn't paper, but paper is made out of wood and wood isn't paper, so i guess i can't write on paper. mom loved that one. see---i can karate chop her with my superior logic. she says i give her a headache.

happy birthday auntie karen!!!!
http://ren119.blogspot.com/

NO Titan Cement in Wilmington NC

so, i went to my first Protest. it was fun. a bunch of people holding signs. cars honking their horns at us. i got tired of holding the sign after a while and there were some boys there my size and we played spiderman, except one boy said i wasn't the real spiderman, even though i am and he said i could be black spiderman, but i can't be black spiderman because i am the real spiderman, but we had fun anyways. never learned their names....
hopefully, we can help keep away the cement factory they want to build here. mommy was very upset over the pink cement truck with the big pink ribbon on it, but i don't know why.

i AM the real spiderman.

said by me today

me: mommy, why do teeth come out of your gums?
mommy: teeth are like bones you can see. and you need them to chew your food.
me: actually (yes, i say "actually" a lot) teeth are not for chewing food. teeth are posts that hold up your brain. but if you have the wrong size posts, they come out of your gums.

sarah palin is satan

this post has nothing to do with her. i heard mommy say it, so it must be true. mommy had a very big surprise birthday party for her. she was very surprised and now we have lots and lots and lots of bottles of wine. here are some things i have said recently:

setting: in the back yard with mom. looking at some dirt.
me: look! it's people!
mommy: where honey? is something shaped like people? are you using your imagination?
me: no..right there. the dirt. when you die, you turn into dirt, so that's people.



setting: mommy and me snuggling in bed, talking about my day at school.

mommy: did you play with A____?

me: oh yes. she was snow white.

mommy: who were you

me: i was the prince.

mommy: oh really. did you kiss her?

me: oh yes, i really did. and her bestest friend in the world, A___, she was the wicked stepmother.

mommy: where did you kiss her.

me: on the head.

mommy: did she like that?

me: she didn't mind. she was dead. she didn't mind anything






scene: mommy and me talking.

me: well, i am all out of thoughts. your brains are actually thoughts and i am all out of thoughts. so, i need to get a new brain.

mommy: where would you get a new brain?

me: i don't remember what i said here.

me: when you have a thought, a piece of your brain goes into your mouth and then it's gone. the middle of your brain is where all the thoughts hook on to. and it's sticky. so sometimes, when yourun out of thoughts, your brains fall out.

i would really like help with my question

i think i have been writing on this thing since i was 1 year old. a baby. now, i am 4. as of yesterday. practically a grown-up! my gramma and papa came and spent the whole week with me, which was very fun, because i love them, even though gramma is a peanut butter thief. and my real birthday was yesterday. i got a new bike with brakes on the handle bar AND a water bottle--just like mommy's and daddy's bike. and it has very big tires, so i can go very very fast. i also got an etch-a-sketch and some new underwear. i am so excited to get new underwear. it's an awesome present for a kid.

oh wait a second---NO IT ISN'T!!!!!!! underwear is a DUMB darn-it present. why would my parents think that is a good idea. my parents also gave me new books: the little mermaid and snow white. what? what's wrong with it? my mother thinks snow white is a disgusting horrible story, so i have to keep an eye on the book because i think she might take it back. she claims she "didn't realize" what the story was. right, mom. i also got neat army men and a stealth plane and 2 movies from gramma and papa. tiff & jason took me to a party for someone else in the afternoon--but everyone there knew it was my birthday, so i got the first piece of cake. i love them. they like taking me out. then we went out for a birthday dinner. mom said i could have whatever i wanted and you know what i asked for (i didn't even have to think about it)---SODA!!!!!!!!! oh yes, i got it too! and i got ice cream and everyone in the restaurant sang happy birthday. it was a good day, but not over....

today is the day after my birthday, but it's like my birthday is really long, because at school (on friday) we had cupcakes and a party and today was my REAL birthday party! unfortunately, gramma and papa had to leave, so they didn't go to the party. too bad, because it was really really really really really really really REALLY fun! we went to a gymnastics place where the kids and grown-ups can play. there was a LOT of kids there---from school, from church, friends my mommy works with, my neighbor, some brothers and sisters of kids. i think everyone had a very good time. and mommy is up very late trying to write thank you notes. tiff and jason and family who live far away and people who came to the party.....i got a LOT of presents. lots of very cool presents. i am not going to tell you everything i got because, well, there are a lot of reasons why not to. other than the darn-it underwear, i will say there is not one present i didn't like. and i had a spider man cake that was really a whole bunch of cupcakes. it was cool.

i hear mommy and daddy going on about how i got too much stuff and people are so generous and it makes mom feel all weird. but see, i'm 4 years old and for the first time, i UNDERSTAND that birthdays are ALL ABOUT THE PRESENTS! hell-o!!!!!!!! i knew it was coming, i knew what to look for. and my friends gave me the coolest stuff! no one gave me any clothes (except one person, ehem---spider man underwear is still clothes) some stuff i knew what it was, some stuff i never saw before, but liked the looks of it. i LIKED getting presents! can someone please explain to me why mommy "feels so weird" about it all? is it that she wants the presents herself? does she think presents are bad? really. i want to know. i know some grown-ups read this. maybe if you read this and you think someone else has an answer , you can forward them this blog and they can try to answer. the question of the day: why does mommy "feel weird" "humbled" about me getting a lot of very cool presents for my birthday. is it the "a lot" or the "very cool" (versus darn-it underwear) presents or for "my birthday". please pass it around.

every kid in the world should have their birthday at a gymnastics gym. it is THE funnest place in the whole world, even more fun that monkey joes. i want to take gymnastics lessons. i am not taking dance any more. spider man doesn't dance. and i'm spider man

i have a new babysitter

i can't believe i am going to write this. don't tell anyone or someone might come to take me away from my mommy and daddy. daddy had to work all weekend and mommy had to clean out the back bedroom. so, mommy let me watch The Little Mermaid all weekend. over and over and over and over and over and over. i watched The Iron Giant, too, but i was really into ariel and the sea witch this weekend. i think there was one other time a long time ago i got to watch movies all weekend, but this was insane. it can't be good to do that. i didn't really feel that good doing it. i got a headache. i even told mommy that "my thoughts were coming out of my brains." mommy said that was from watching too much t.v. i think we all learned a valuable lesson and won't be doing THAT anymore. we went to the pool for a few minutes and went to on a bike ride to the swings for a few minutes, but it was nothing compared to the amount of t.v. i watched. ugh.

my brain is NOT going to be top form for starting my first da of pre-k tomorrow.

today is my birthday

not really. but i decided i wanted it to be. mommy asked me if i wanted to bake a carrot cake today and i told her "that's disgusting" (which is by the way, my new favorite thing to say). so she asked me what i wanted to bake and i said a birthday cake--a blue one with red frosting. so, we went to walmart and bought a mix and tub of frosting--white--and we made cupcakes and put food coloring in them. and i decided that it was my birthday. i even put candles in my cupcakes. happy birthday to me!

conversations recently had with mom, that some might think are interesting. i dunno. just trying to express my opinion. ask a question. you know. i'm almost 4. inquiring minds wanna know, y'know?

there is a cement factory that might be built near our town and mommy and daddy are mad about it. a long time ago, we went to a meeting in an old building with a lot of other people who think its a bad idea. i was thinking about it recently and asked mommy why we went to that meeting. when she told me, i said

"i can think of 2 reasons why it is good to build a cement factory here. one, is people can have nice furniture with cement inside and two, you can build foundations for new houses." you know, she said i was right and that they were two very good reasons and that everyone can have an opinion. see, i THINK about this stuff. clearly, mommy doesn't.

the other thing i said was "gas is like food for cars." mommy said something like, yes my genius son. you're right. you're brilliant. not quite a direct quote, but she said something probably pretty close to that. then i said "what if cars used electricity instead of gas?" mommy said that pretty soon that might be true. probably because i said it. don't let anyone tell you a 3-almost-4 year-old didn't invent electric cars. because i did. yes i did. YES I DID!!!!! stop lying and saying i didn't! i DID YOU BIG DARN DOODY HEAD!

one last exciting thing

so over the weekend i say ti mom something like "i wanted to get out the boogers so i put the green from the tomato in my nose and now i can't breathe at all" apparently mommy thought i could breathe okay, because she didn't panic. couldn't see the tomato stem with the naked eye tho---oh no--i put it waaaaay waaay up there. lucky for me mommy has an otoscope and she looked up my nose and found it. while calling the vitaline nurse and waiting for her to call back, mommy went to the store to get big tweezers. well, when i found out what she planned on doing with those tweezers, i found a way to snot-rocket that tomato stem right out my nose. no everything is jut fine.

kindergarden here i come!

what a topic of conversation in our house. first they changed the age to go to kindergarden so i was going to be stuck in daycare (we call it preschool, now) for an extra year. then we heard we could find a way for me to test in early which wouldn't really be early, just when it used to be. then we heard they changed the cut off date back but not until next year, which is when i need kindergarden anyways. and if that wasn't bad enough, at my preschool the transition from OP (older preschool) to either Pre-K or a different OP is a big hot topic. parents have very definite opinions of which class they should go to, which teachers they should have and even which friends (we call students "friends" here )should be in class with them. but they are assigned by the bosses. mommy told the bosses, "you know donovan, so just put him where you think he will be the most successful" mommy said she isn't going to play that "but MY child needs to be here this year!" balony. so am i going to go to OP2 where most of my friends are going? after OP2 then they go to pre-K. or do i go straight to pre-K? then i can get into kindergarden early. or, as my parents say, i can spend 2 years in pre- k if i ain't ready to go to kindeegarden. i think we decided that i will skip OP2 and go right to pre-K. it will be some older kids, but once they realize that i am actually superman, it will be okay. i get to keep my same teachers. mommy says i am going to have to learn things like buttoning my pants and wiping my butt better after i poop. i think pre-k is kind of a big deal. i will start pre-k next week and then next month---i turn 4 years old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

donovisms

i will tell you all about our family vacation, but first i have to tell you something i told mommy that she thought was funny. i had jotted down a few of my more recent donovisms, but somehow they became missing, which totally sucks(a word i do say).

i mentioned that i am not allowed to talk about how people look. especially if they are fat. especially if they are fat and mommy. well, sometimes i forget. so, i looked up mommy's shirt--it WAS after dinner, so give me a break--and it looked.....like she had eaten a big dinner. so i said, "WHOA MOMMY! YOU.....(this is where i catch myself)...had a big dinner so i just want to make sure your tummy isn't getting ripped out of your skin because then there will be blood and then you'll die. " and that was where i was smart enough to tell the old fat broad that i was worried and i loved her, hug hug. i don't think she caught on to my almost saying what i almost said.

also, i am officially going to preschool this year--next week--and i know it is because i know things like this: said to mommy when asking for a glass of tonic water with lime. no gin, no vodka, just tonic, ice and a slice of lime. just like mommy drinks it. she gives it to me because she can't figure out if it is soda and i am not allowed to have soda unless someone like aunt tiff gives it to me. but me and mommy, we looove our tonic and lime. so i explained to her that "tonic water is good for me because it has a lot of protein in it. and the protein goes into the cells in your blood and takes out the old protein. then the old protein goes out in your poop, so that is why i want tonic water." look, you just can't argue with science. that is the key to getting your way--especially as a kid---prove your point. defend your argument. who doesn't want the bad protein to be wisked away out of the potty.

did i really not post about out Family Vacation? seriously? another time. the hiking... the fishing... the river....the campfires, man it was fun.

i got to spend a weekend without mom and dad recently, which was pretty cool. unca jas and aunt tiff came to my house and spent the weekend while mommy and daddy went away on a romantic grown-up trip without me. i offered to come, but they said no. i had fun with them. but i can't post tooo much about it because one of you readers might be a spy and tell mommy what we did and what we ate and all that. we had a good time, let judt lave it at that. and yes, there as some drinking. it was one lousy sprite and i handled it just fine.

continuing to play catch up. this is my baby book after all.

another cool thing. aunt kendra came with the cousins--shea, auryn and cian. shea is a big boy like me but auryn and cian are babies. we had fun tying them up, because all they could do is cry. then. i was so excited to go to the 4th of july fireworks (far-works i say it, here in these parts). mommy is a big fat party pooper (ooops i forgot, fat is a swear word in our house and i am not allowed to call anyone fat, even if they are) because she didn't want to go. she thought it would be too scary. well, i really wanted to go and so did everyone else. turns out everyone really DID like it........except me. right from the first kaboom, i screamed "run! run! get me outa here!" it was like she was pulling me from a burning building, considering the reason i was so afraid was that the fireworks were going to land on us and electrocute us.mommy had to RUN and carry me. i guess it's good she keeps going to that gym. it's interesting that i am so deathly afraid of fireworks but not lightening, which we get a lot of here.

i still like going to monkey joes.

we took a ferry boat to the aquarium, where there are all the fish from nemo living there.

speaking of fish, i took swimming lessons. it was fun. i don't go under water much, because i don't want to get water in my eyes. it was very fun. we went with school. on the bus.

did i tell you that for a few weeks i insisted on sleeping on the floor snuggled up to a fan? yeah. i still am super duper into fans, but i sleep with it very very close to me while i sleep in bed. i often sleep in my buzz lightyear costume from halloween because, well, actually i AM buzz lightyear. i AM.


new fears, suddenly. out of no where. lightening. always loved it. suddenly petrified of it.

i have become an interesting boy. well, usually i am not a boy but lightening mcqueen or buzz lightyear or spiderman or a queen, but still. i am cool. and smart.

recently said to my mom. what was so smart was that when i looked at her big fat belly, i remembered to stop myself from saying that so i just wiggled it and said
"i just wanted to make sure you didn't eat too much so your skin doesn't rip open and then your blood will fly out and you will be dead." that went over better than when i giggled her belly and said "oh my god, look at that big fat belly"

yeah yeah yeah

well, it's been a while. i start a lot of posts this way, don't i? do you realize i am going to be 4 years old in september? FOUR YEARS OLD!!!!!!!!!!!! altho, i must say, i have had a pretty exciting life, so far.

i have been pretty busy these last few months. too busy to write about it, obviously. i went to my buddy makai's birthday party. he had it at a real farm. it was wicked fun, man. i rode a horse, went for a hay ride, chased around some chickens. and of course, my favorite: ate cake. love birthday cake. i think it is my favorite food. makai is 4.


i told you i saw obama, right? i often shout "YES WE CAN" at various random moments in time. sometimes my mom thinks it is so smart of me and sometimes she tells me to shush.

also, did you know i dressed up like hail? yup. my whole family did. there was this thing, i guess it was a play. last year we were boils. this year, hail. i am still deathly afraid of the cow, like i was last year. it was a fun play. i like to be a plague. there was moses and matzah and hard boiled eggs. if there is food---i'm all over it. next year, we might be slaves. should be a real hoot!

OH! my dance recital! gramma a papa came to visit a long long long time ago---20 years ago, i think. it was may. man. that was a big weekend. i had my dance recital. i was in tap and ballet, you know. i like to dance. i had a cape and a bow tie and when i wore my tap shoes, i was a magician. some of the girls in my class were my Lovely Assistants and then they left the stage and then i waved my magic wand and then the other girls came out and they were bunnies! they curtsied, but i'm a boy and boys don't curtsey, they bow. and then, when i wore my ballet shoes, i was a dog trainer and all the girls in my class were doggies and they jumped thru my hoop. i can post pictures. i will have my daddy help me. probably not my mom, because she doesn't know how to do that stuff. that same weekend, i also had my "dedication." it was okay. i got up in front of the whole church and rev. elaine said a bunch of stuff and tiff & jason became my godparents. i don't know what that means. in fact, a couple weeks after that, we went to tiff's dad's house (does that make him my godgrandfather?) for a pigpickin'. i like pig. i am learning that chicken and fish and other meat that i like is actually dead animals that hunters kill. did you know chicken hunters give us chicken nuggets? it's true. but i liked the pig pickin. i just didn't realize that that it was a real piggy. this might be something i need to think about more.

there was another party.....jackson had his birthday party at the same gym i had my birthday party at. it was so fun. and this time, mommy was not too fat to jump into and get out of the foam pit. i like jackson. and i really like to go to birthday parties at gymnastics.

so here we are, well, into summer....digging the garden i have with my mommy. we started with a lot of veggies, but i like the tomatoes the best. turns out the tomatoes are almost the only thing doing any good. i have to go.

real quick

can't write much, michael moore is going to be on larry king. is it worthy to mention i am starting to have preferences of what clothes i wear? mom thought i skipped over that phase, since other kids care earlier. late bloomer i guess. it started simple enough. i liked pants that didn't have buttons, because they are hard for me. no problem. but now i have all kinds of ideas of what to wear. i like to see how far i can push it. i get farther with dad than mom. dad let me wear my chicken costume to school 2 weeks ago. the costume i wore at halloween when i was ONE. so what the feet were on my knees. i'm a chicken, bak bak.

i am a lot of things.

a chicken for a while
jelly fish
shark
spiderman
yesterday i was a kitty
sometimes a queen.

so?

i should keep a list of all the things i am because i am many many things.

did i tell you how obsessed i am with my new bike? i love it and i ride it fast, all the way to california.

sequins bikes and obama

so things are pretty good. i got my costume for my dance recital which is coming up (my dad is apparently not very happy with it. does anyone know what sequins are and what is wrong with them? are they like germs?) i have a top hat and i have been practicing my bows.

also, someone i know gave me a free 2 wheeler bike. i am now into bike riding like you wouldn't believe. we went out and got me some training wheels for the bike, and i can ride it no problem. my bike looks a lot like mom and dad's, which is really cool. "cool" is one of my newest words, by the way. but now, i can ride my own bike and not ride in that back seat thing on mom's bike. i think i am going to try to ride my bike to california. i know it is far, but i will wear my helmet, so i think i can do it.

i did another really really cool thing today. i even got to take the day off from school to do it. i went to see barack obama make a speech and answer questions. i got to do The Wave and yell "yes we can!" and of course i bowed when people clapped, because i know they were there to see me AND obama. it was very very very loud and it lasted a little too long. but i amused myself by saying i had to go potty really bad several times. that way i got to stay moving. and mommy and daddy didn't get too bored (mostly daddy) because they had to take me to the potty. go obama!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYikzsK9rMY

there is more to life than mommy and daddy

well let's see! my auntie tiff and unca jason picked me up in their pimped out saturn (marred only by the addition of my carseat), which i remember so well. it was azalea fest--pretty big party here in the port city--and i got to go with auntie & unca. no mommy....no daddy! you know what that means don't you! oh yeah! brig on the cotton candy (YUUUUUUUUM!) bring on the soda(forbidden nectar of the gods i have been trying to get my lips on for so long!-double YUUUUUM!). there was way more fun that i can't even post here because my mom will find out suffice it to say it was fun. they learned that i know how to spell pharmacy (altho i don't understand why it doesn't begin with "f") and that i know a quesadilla is a quesadilla and not a pizza (did they really think they could pull that over on me?) it was awesome. super fun day and nothing to do with the parents. is this how life is? i won't be spending the rest of my life having most of my fu with mommy and daddy? really? hmmmmmm. kind of opens up a whole new world, don't it?

then, as if on cue. here i am, outside, minding my own bizniss (mommy properly supervising me of course) when my next door neighbor came over--she is 6--can you believe it-- 6! and she wanted to come play in my yard with me. and she had her cousin, she was a grown up, she was 10 to splay with us. kids came over, UNINVITED, to MY yard and said "do you want to play football with us?" how cool is that??????? then we all discovered how fun it is to climb on a hammock. that was the real bonding activity, i'd say. by this point, i was wishing mom would go away, since i was playing with big kids. and i noticed she did go in the house more and more to stir the soup or something i really felt like a big kid.

yeah. i had an awesome weekend. and awesome life. friends to hang out with. oh yeah. i'm cool.

a letter to mom and a poem

a poem made up by me, today:

the sun is shining on my head
i hope it doesn't rain again

yeah, just call me shakespeare

dear mom,

please take me to get my hair cut. i know you thought it would be cute to see my hair get long. but there is something you have to realize. clearly, i have daddy's hair. our hair doesn't get long, it gets big. my hair is big. it makes my head look very big. i am starting to look like a q-tip. please. what do i have to do to get you to take me to cut my hair? i don't really need to beg, do i? i spelled bat, b-a-t. doesn't that count for something? please mom.

love,

your son.

variation of a toothbrush theme song

mommies version:

brush brush brush your teeth
get them nice and clean
keep away cavities creeps
so you don't make them scream

donovan's version

brush brush brush your teeth,
keep them nice and clean
make sure no mold grows in your teeth
so you don't get sick in your stomach

it made sense to me

i don't know why mommy felt this was worthy of repeating, it seemed pretty straight forward to me, but, i guess you can judge for yourself.

i was eating this AWESOME lollipop one of my teachers gave me at school when i was picked up by lame old mom.

she was gabbering about lollipops not making me big and strong and full of sugar and she wishes i wouldn't eat it. i wasn't totally listening, of course, because how can you pay attention to "blah blah blah blah cavities" when you are eating a yummy lolly? duh. but something must have creeped in somewhere, because,

i said to lame old mom: my brain is telling me not to lick this lollipop

lame-o mom: but your mouth probably wants you to lick it because it is yummy in your mouth, even tho it is not good for your body

ummm--YEAH---whaddya think? so i said "i don't want to listen to my brain. i want to listen to my mouth. i wish i could take my brain out so i could just keep licking my lollipop"

i don't know why that is funny. i just want to enjoy my freakin' lollipop!