christmas came early for the big d!

christmas is a fun time. i got lots of presents so far and mommy and daddy said it isn't even christmas yet. i got a cool sleeping bag from unkiah and aunt sherri and thomas the train underpants from tiff and jason and a bunch of money, but i don't understand that. it just gets hung up on the fridge under a magnet. oh, and santa visited us early. you can't even believe what santa brought me! are you ready?! you are never going to believe this----yo i got a BIG BOY BED!!!!!!!!!! with a thomas blanket. there is a dresser and a night stand and a stool to get in and out. i don't know how santa got it in the house. i was so excited about it....i couldn't sleep. so, last night there were a lot of tears. mommy and dad left the crib in my room and kept saying "it's okay to sleep in your crib if you want---you get to sleep wherever you want" so i told them i wanted to sleep in the hall. i guess they meant ALMOST anywhere i wanted. oh, i couldn't sleep im mommydaddy's bed either. so the choice was the big boy bed or the crib. i wanted to sleep in that bed so bad. so, after a good healthy round of tears, i finally fell asleep in the big boy bed. and the coolest part was when i woke up this morning...i just got out and went to mommydaddy's room and got mommy up. ALL BY MYSELF. yessirybob. i was unable to sleep in my big boy bed for my nap today, but i am shooting for sleeping there tonight. i don't know why i have the crib and the bed in there. and i don't know why the big people tell me i an sleep in my crib if i want. they are weird. maybe santa didn't ask them before he brought it in and they really want to keep me in the crib. this is so pansy toddler bed, folks, this is an honest to god big boy bed. oh yeah. how can christmas get better?

we had a dress rehearsal for the christmas pageant today. i don't even want to talk about it.

mommy is a camel.

so. christmas is coming. this is a little exciting to me because, well, i don't exactly know what it is. i know i am going to get a very cool thing called "coal" because my parents have told me this several times. i don't know what coal is, but i am pretty psyched to find out. it's got to be a cool thing, right? my parents have put up a christmas tree. i thought it was cool when they first put it up because, well, there was a tree in the house. then one day, i woke up and ther were beautiful lights and ornaments on it. i asked if santa brought them and mommy said yes. me and my parents have a difference of opinion, however in how one treats a christmas tree. i think it is big fun to pull off ornaments and drag off garland while the parents feel pretty strongly that one should leave them alone. it's not that i want to be naughty (heh heh, no really, i DON'T) but come ON i'm 2! what do you expect. i notice after breaking several ornaments that each day, it seems less and less of the tree is decorated. in fact, it is almost only decorated on the top half. it's okay. i have a higher reach than mommy and daddy realize.

so, these days i am super duper into trains. i heard mommy saying it is going to be a "thomas christmas" and i don't quite know what that means either. but i am not stupid. i know thomas is a train. i also really like penguins and beautiful things. i think a lot of things are beautiful. the other day i took a beautiful nap. i have a beautiful cat, mommy is beautiful and the day is beautiful. i like to say "it's a beautiful day outside today" because when i do, mommy gets all weird and it cracks me up.

yesterday i went and saw santa. i mean, i really saw SANTA. the real deal, man, not a picture. the real guy. yup. at the mall. i have asked daddy to scan the picture so i can post it here to prove that i really saw him. a lot of the kids were in cute red sweaters and fancy hairdos, but i was in my yellow shirt and brown cords. i am not sure my shirt was clean. however, alot of those kids who's mommies dressed them up to see the big guy cried like wussies and never got the picture. me, i just ran up to santa, sat on his lap and told him i was behaving and that i wanted a blue train. i am so badass.

i am also very excited because my auntie karen is coming to visit soon. (my crazy best friend who wants to put me in dresses. yes. i said crazy. accept it auntie. embrace it) well, okay, truth be told....even tho i love her so much, i don't have real real real clear memories of her....but mommy is so excited, so it is making me excited. i know she is the coolest person ever. i can't wait to see her. it's going to be very cool. i am going to have her give me juice and cookies and wine.

also, i am going to be a king in a church xmas pageant. mommy is going to be a camel. god i hope someone takes pictures.

one more funny story before i go. the other day i was taking a bath and i wrapped myself up in the shower curtain and i said "i am in a elevator" and i went up and down and then i opened the doors and closed the doors. then i said, "i go peepee in the elevator" then i assumed the position and peed. it was so fun. what i loved most about it was that i said it and THEN i did it. i didn't do it and then say it. there is a profound difference. hopefully mommy hasn't caught on to that sublety yet because then it's going to be on the potty all the time. i would much rather pee in the tub. one of my favorite books, "green eggs and ham" has sam-i-am sitting in the potty, reading a newspaper. i told mommy, "sam-i-am is on the potty, trying to go peepee. or maybe poops" mommy thinksi am very smart.

well, okay then. bed time.

PS don't try to tell me the guys name isn't sam-i-am. they can both be sam-i-am.

i have a lot to say

however, it feels imperative to document that at this moment, right now i have discovered the new funnest thing ever. presently it involves ducky crackers (like goldfish) but i suspect we will branch out to other things. in fact, mommy is looking away so she doesn't encourage me by laughing. what is this new hobby, you ask?! STICKING THINGS UP MY NOSE! YAY!!!!!!! i will post the less significant things soon. fun fun fun

first haircut

well, my genius parents didn't get any good halloween pictures of my adorable self as a scarecrow, but today i got my very first ever haircut. daddy insisted. mommy didn't want to do it.

this picture is me in the kitchen. dada calls it my trailer park picture. i can see why




here are my beutiful wonderful curls....


say goodbye cornsilk curls


this is easy

eeeu why would she save it???

oh yeah. i am hot

soon.....FART JOKES

i realized the other day i completely forgot to cover halloween. and i will. soon. but first i have to tell you how clever i am. the teacher told mommy that i was one of the brightest kids in the class. pretty freaking impressive when you consider that it is a class of 2 year olds--many close to 3 and some un-potty trained 3 year olds.anyways, she thinks i am smart because i know my colors and talk clearly and know what an octopus is. big whoop. i'll tell ya why i'm so smart.

there is a song i like called cows, right? and there is the line "cows....we're remarkable cows..." it's a great song. so, a little while ago i sang (get this. oh i wish you knew the tune) "poop....we're remarkable poopie...." oh my god i slay me! do people say that? yup. genius.

a post just to have a post

sure has been a while since i've posted. i was looking over some of my old posts. i guess i blew the potty thing out of proportion. not a whole lot of interest in it. i mean, it's fun to sit in it and get a reaction from mommy when i stick my hand in the potty water, which for some reason she hates. but otherwise.....eehh, potty shmotty. who has time?

meanwhile, i am getting cuter and more adorable and of course, smarter, by the minute. especially since now i am a Big Boy and not a baby. here are some things i enjoy: singing. i love to sing and i know the words to many many songs. of course, i still love my balls. my 2 favorite things, and have been for a while, are still going out side, number 1 and playing with my trains. and i have been pretty into building houses with my blocks lately too. but outside and trains are where it's at man. oh i still love the old backhoes too. i have become a pickier eater and really enjoy throwing my food. it's all about the reaction i get from the big people. i mean, why else would i throw perfectly good food that i like? dad's reaction is usually funner than mom's. a lot of time mom takes me out of my seat, makes me pick up what i threw and puts me back in my seat. dad, on the other hand gets all flustered and mad. love it.

they have a punishment that has lost its ooomph quicker than The Wall, and that is The Gate. i get the gate for hitting, biting and pinching. i don't like it but it's not that bad. so i cry a bit to make them think i am upset then after my 2 minutes is up they pick me up and kiss me and i tell them i am sorry and then sometimes i stop and sometimes we play the bite-gate-sorry game over and over. altho NOW i see that they are starting to take away a toy and THAT i DO NOT like.
i
so my friend miss michelle came to visit me from new york and i really liked her. i asked for her for several days after she left. i hope she comes back to visit. and another one of mommy's best friends might come at the holidays, and she is excited about that. even i remember crazy auntie karen!!!!!!! well, i have to go because i just do. don't make me lose character and be mommy.

it was NOT an accident

so, i asked mommy to sing my favorite song, "bumble bee" (as in "bringing home my baby....") and mommy said, "i will sing it if you sit on the potty" which is strange, because she never asked me to do that before. so, there we were...i think it was during, "i'm smushing up my baby bumble bee" and i went pee pee in the potty!! of course, i did it on purpose. i knew what i was doing the whole time. in fact, i asked her to sing "bumblebee" because i HAD to take a leak. so, you see, it is really no big deal. mommy and daddy were hugging me and clapping me and mommy screached a lot, which was pretty embarrasing because all the windows are open. thanks mom. now the whole neighborhood knows i went to see a man about a horse. what am i going to do with her? well, i love her. she's a good egg overall.

so, that is my big news of the day. AND i got --not one-- but 2 fugciscles out of the deal. how cool is that?????? then i tried to tell mom i didn't want to put any diapers back on, but she strongly disagreed.

i am liking going to lisa's house. mom and dad keep telling me that it is my new school, but i like calling it lisa's house. i have one teacher, lisa and my main teacher is felicia. there are a lot of classrooms at lisa's house. and a new playground.

and mommy comes home very happy every day now that she has a new job. i like it when she is happy. i like it when she comes home and i am not ready for bed already. we get to have dinner together.

everything is good. except i hear i have to be a chicken again for halloween if the costume still fits. a good egg she is, but lazy. i wanted to be strawberry shortcake.

september wasn't BAD, just stressful

wow. it had been a loooong time since i've posted anything. it's a big old bummer, too because this has been a busy, eventful month and to post now would surely leave out some of the best juicy details.

for one thing, i turned 2. yup. i am now all grown up. i even ask to drink from a big boy cup sometimes. this is a cup that doesn't have a spout and lid on the top. i had a party at jungle rapids and i got a lot of very cool presents. i liked the party well enough but it kind of stressed me out because there were a bunch of people i knew, but none of them from jungle rapids, so i didn't know what to expect. my baby sitter was there and i thought mamma and dada were going to leave me. then there was a kid from school....but i wasn't in school....and some kids from church but we weren't in church. and my grandparents were there and who the hell knows WHERE they came from. they just showed up. i don't know. it was very confusing. and all the other kids wanted to play with MY balloon and it was MY balloon and i just didn't want to share it. and even the presents were a bit overwhelming. see, the problem was, all the gifts i got were super-duper cool. so, i would open one, get all excited and want to play with it and then have to open a different one. but then THAT one would be really cool and i would want to play with that and i don't know, it was very tiring. the only thing that was not overwhelming or hard to understand was the cake. i love cake. i love birthday cake. my cake had a train on it and i loved it. don't tell my mom that the party was kind of tough on me because i over heard her saying "i think he really enjoyed it, don't you?" and well, look, i am just a bit young for that kind of excitement i think. so just keep it between us, okay?

and i guess september was treat-your-kid-like-a-trained-monkey month. we went to new york, and i will talk about the plane later. but we saw nona and poppy and uncle dave and uncle dan and aunt sonnie and uncle tom and uncle elliott and aunt sherri. we stayed at uncle dave's houlse. i like that uncle dave. he didn't make me show off. so first of all we spent waaaaaaaaay to much time in the car. i coudn't take naps unless i fell asleep in the car and that messed me up. at home i have very specific nap times and nap routines and just like my daddy, i like my routines!!!! there was just so much driving around. and then, mamma and dada were making me do and say things to the people we visited. "look what he can do? isn't he smart? look what he can say, that's our little genius!" on and on and on. go give this one a kiss, that one a kiss. lookit---do YOU go around kissing people you hardly know? yeah, how do i know these people won't hug me and then run away with me away from my mommy? how do i know they don't have cooties? i mean, come ON. i was forced to kiss and hug people all freaking weak. and that was just people i am apparently related to. they weren't even mom's friends because we didn't get a chance to see any of them. i will admit, i really liked spending time with these relative-type people, but the showing off and the kissing and the driving (oh god the driving!) was just a bit much.

then, the minute we got back from new york, my grandparents came to visit. i remembered them from before. my gramma wears pretty earrings and my papa will read me the same story over and over again. so they are okay in my book. except, when i was sent to The Wall, they didn't rescue me. i don't know about that. i was reading over the How To Be A 2 Year Old manual (which i have memorized because i am a genius) and there was a chapter on grandparents always giving you your way and extra cookies and stuff. so, i don't know about that. but they are good to have around anyways.

i went on an airplane. i got to preboard. i behaved very well--perfectly and it was one of the greatest experiences of my life. i love flying in a plane a lot. not as much as trains or backhoes, but more than riding in a car. i loved it so much. the same amount, no maybemore than riding on the bike. i want to fly in a big airplane every day. mommy does NOT like flying. but, we all know she is a strange one.

and i started a new school. i like it quite a bit. they serve their own food there, which bothers mommy, but they have a cool class room and i like the teachers and we go outside, which is my favorite thing more than airplanes. maybe not trains. i like taking my train out side. mommy is bothered by the menu they serve (someone PLEASE tell her i really don't like tofu and i DO like chicken nuggets) because it isn't as HEALTHY as what she makes. i don't know. they serve do nuts and ice cream. they do not serve anything with tofu in it. and there is no organic there either. i am not sure what organic is, but i know mommy makes me eat it a lot.

i will save my latest skills and talents for another post because this one is getting too long. we have been listening quite a bit to "dog train" which is our (mine and mamma and dada's) favorite cd. my favorite sons are "no no no" and "don't give me that broccolli" i sing that song whenever i eat broccolli, but i actually love broccolli. it is one of my favorite foods. too bad they dont' serve it at school. yeah, it really breaks my heart. i think mom tries to sneak some broccolli in my eggs one day because she was afraid i wouldn't get enough vegetables at That School.

i saw miss hattie, my teacher from my other school (my last day was thursday and now it's saturday) at sears today. she was trying to love on me and everything, but i ignored her. why? because how do i know she didn't have something to do with making me go to a new school? i love her and now she isn't my teacher any more so it is best if we just not pretend to be be friends, you know?

well, i am a LOT smarter now that i am 2 and can do a lot of things, but i should really save it for another post. i can jump with BOTH feet off the ground. my doctor said i have the verbal skills of a 3 year old. i can sing about 3845 songs. i told you i read the whole 2 year old manual, right? oh yeah! meltdown city, baby! i got it down PAT. the throwing things, the loud crying, the insanely embarassing (well, embarassing to someone!) behavior in public. poking, hitting, biting. i can do it all. oh yes. the glory of being 2. i shall embrace it. i shall be it. all of it. it's all mine anyways. all of it. anything i want. mine. if you have it and i want it: mine. yup. hahahahahahahahahaha i love my life.

one last thing: mommy got a new job and she loves it very much but she goes to work every day. but she is happier when she gets home and has less cooties and other people's poo on her.

yay dada!

so guess what! DA-DA's HOME!!!!!!!!!!!! finally!!!!!! we picked him up from his airplane business trip on saturday. (that was like a year, i think) i was so excited, i couldn't sleep at all. i was sitting in mama-dada bed and kept going "hi dada. hello dada" i was so happy to see him. we have been having fun since he got home.

i hear mama and dada talking about sending me to a new school. i am not sure i like that, so i will just ignore them and keep going to my same school.

mama and dada are quizzing me a lot. that is, they are talking to each other in letters. i think they are trying to help me learn to spell. for example, one of them said to the other, "we have to write out the invitations to j-u-n-g-l-e-r-a-p-i-d-s for his birthday party" what the hell is that??? i don't really like it, because i would rather get my learnin' from school, but you can't tell those people anything. maybe they are just jealous because i can sing b-i-n-g-o.

mama said i am going on an airplane in a few days. i think a few days is the same as a year, so i am not going to worry about it. besides, it doesn't make sense. i don't have a job, so there are no business trips for little kids, which is what you do on a plane. also, she said we are going to see "nona and poppy" but they are in the phone, so it just makes no sense. i know they are in the phone because, HELLO, that's where i talk to them.

mama can be pretty exasperating at times, as you can tell. i just didn't realize dada would be that way too. he's not as bad, but they both pretty much drive me nuts. so, thanks for reading. more later big people, time to wave bye-bye!

the sounds of myoooozik

songs i can sing that other people can recognize them for what they are: all versons of "WHEELS ON THE BUS", "bringing home my babby bumble bee", "b-i-n-g-o anf bingo was his name o" and then i made up a song. can 23 month old babies make up songs? i did. wanna hear it? it goes like this (in b flat major, allegro) "sing some songs sing some songs read a book, read a book" it has a catchy tune.

what are you, a comedian? why yes, yes i am.

so, mommy made something called "chicken and parmedean ravioli" for dinner, but SHE called it "ravioli pillows". so, i made her laugh when i put the ravioli on my cheek and said "night night" she didn't understand at first, so i had to do it again and said "time for night night on the pillow". i slay me sometimes. i am just so freakin witty, i can't even get over myself.

mommy post

so, the little angel is asleep in his crib. no pj's (a potientially large mistake), spread out face down with his arms stretched out. exhausted, the poor dear. but wait, don't get too close or you will smell the faint smell of.....puke.

it's been a rough one. pickd him up from day care extra early yesterday because i was really missing him since i didn't really see him all weekend. well, he was cranky and whiney and just, well, lets say i was reconsidering the merit of my earlier decision to pick him up early. i thought he was being a turd because i messed up his routine---he LOVES his routine. he was just difficult all night. even on the phone with the grandparents i mentioned he was being difficult today.

it's distressing because in genreal, he is not a difficult child. he is getting into the whole "two's thing" and he is certainly more difficult than he USED to be, there are sure moments, but in general he is a sweet good kid. on the rare occasions he gets like this, i immediately think "oooh this is the new donovan. it must be a developmental thing. oh no, we are stuck with this monster of a kid forever" however, 100% of the time when he acts unrecognizable icky, he is sick!

it took me a while to get to that. he didn['t sleep last night. but, there was no fever, no complaints of booboos, really no indication besides crying and whining (and crying without tears which i take less seriously, until i worry about dehydration).. tossed and turned and whined all night.

then the non stop crying for hours. well, i was supposed to have my 3rd interview at zimmer today (yes, third---whateve---this is donovan's blog, i won't go there here). i had decided something is not only wrong, but VERY wrong and i had to take him to the doctor immediately. let's see, i had diagnosed him with acute kidney failure (i couldn't remember the last peepee diaper and there were no tears in his crying) then i was sure he had that plum pit stuck in him and he would need a temporary colostomy to repair the damage it was going to his intestines. then i considered some rare musculo-sketelal disorders, i am not sure what my rational was there. but he was crying and it was an emergency.

fortunately, these pediatricians we have just walk on water as far as i'm concerned. they are excellent with the kid, amazing at dealing with crazy moms while making her feel that she did the absolute right thing by bringing him in (even tho once, it was several mosquito bits and not the allergic hives reaction i swore it was). actually, the doc also seemed concerned. she was even talking about getting a ct of his abdomen and stuff. i don't know why she did a throat culture since he has had no fever and she said his throat wasn't even red. well, she comes back a few minutes later saying he had a raging strep infection and is probably feeling terrible. a shot of pennicilin later, we are in the grocery store buying popsicles, which he loved. he barfed 4 or 5 times which i guess is normal for little kids and babies with strep. he did barf on the doctor, but she stuck a q-tip down his throat so what do youexpect.

more tomorrow. gotta go to work and i am sleepy.

oh the reason for the no pj's and the puke smell is that he fell asleep at 5:30 and his bed time routine doesn't even start till 8. so, even tho he isn't convered in puke, the is a reminiscence. and he happened to had just had a diaper change before crashing so he had no clothes on. i didn't have the heart to wake him up, hopefully, since my ultra-regimented son sleeps 9 hours a night, he won't wake up at 1:30 ready for the day. oh god help me.

a rather eventful day (said in the voice of pooh)

hey--guess what! i got a potty!!!!!!! MY VERY OWN POTTY!!!!!!! i can't believe how excited i am! i kept going in the bathroom and sitting on it. most of the time i had my diaper on, but sometimes it was off. mommy says i should just have fun sitting on it. i did pee on it once. not in it, on it. but it IS my first day. momma kept the bathroom door open so i could go it whenever i wanted. then, at bed time, she closed the door and i was whining and pushing the door open telling her i wanted to sit on donovan's little potty but she said "tomorrow" oh man, i just can't believe i have my own potty.

and tonight, in the bath, mommy decided i should start learning to drink from a big boy cup so she decided the best place would be in the bath tub. now, i really love to drink bath water. look, don't knock it till you try it, okay? there is the added bonus of it bugging the crap out of mom. but mommy made me something called camomille tea and said i could practice drinking in the tub. it was pretty good, but then i realized it was MORE fun to dump the tea into the water and then....drink the bath water! mommy said she hadn't decided whether this experiment was a success or a failure, because when i drank from the cup, i did very well and spilled little--tea OR bath water.

oh yeah....i made mommy completely fuh-REAK out today. she gave me a plum and then she couldn't find the pit, which she usually snags from me pretty early on and i told her "yes" when she asked if i swallowed it. (i say "yes" to many questions i don't understand so i don't look dumb) so she called the hospital to see if i was going to be okay, because they have pointy edges that can cut my intestines (yeah, i have no idea what i am saying here, just repeating what the crazy old lady was saying) and she said she was SURE i was going to need emergency surgery because she didn't think i could pass the pit without harming my insides. while she was waiting for the nurse to call back she found the pit. she said she is going to keep it as a reminder to be more careful.

fortunately, the pit-lady has to work this weekend. it has been 2 weeks since i have seen my fiance, tiffani, but she will be spending the weekend with me while i have the house to myself. just don't tell megan. i can't help it if i'm a playah, yo---the ladies love me!

daddy is coming home soon!

PS: we got a new kitchen table and kitchen chairs and mommy wouldn't let either of us touch it. she was saying something like "something in this damn house is going to stay clean for one day" i'm not sure but i think "damn" is one of those words, like "foul ass" that if i say, it gets a big reaction from mommy. i was just agreeing with mom while she was changing my diaper. mommy swears (um, yeah) she is trying to watch her mouth. she's trying, i know she is. it's cute, really.

auntie karen's going to a tofu festival.

i won't even address the title. what needs to be said? mamma puts it in my mac and cheese like i don't know.

so, these days, i want to sleep with the light on. i'm not afraid of the dark---i'm not afraid of anything (well, maybe when the vacuum gets turned on, fortunately, that rarely happens), i just want the light on. just because i do. don't go saying i'm afraid of the dark either. i just like to keep an eye on things when i wake up at night. make sure my stuff is still in the same place. i have everything where i want it. books in a pile, bath towel on the floor. i like it that way. i have conceded to wearing my pajama shirt. that was a phase.

my vocabulary as well as my ability to create complex sentences out of complex thoughts continues to grow and astound mamma (and everyone around me) and for the second time, i actually answered a question 2 days ago. i mean, with an answer, not a yes or no like i have been to do for years. i was crying, my babysitter who is really my teacher, had just left and mamma said, "what's wrong??? why are you crying??" and i said "miss megan go bye bye" i mean, i am still planning on marrying tiffani, but that megan has some mad book reading skills and i was really enjoying it and didn't want her to leave. besides, i was pretty mad at mom. every so often these days she drops me off at school before they open (i mean, we have to wait around for someone to come unlock the door), then, i stay there even after all the other kids are gone, and my teacher, who closes the school, takes me to my house in her car. then i hang out with her and she gives me my bath and all that till mamma gets home. it's hard because i am glad she came home--i keep thinking she might never come back. but then i am so mad at her. but i don't let her know i am glad she is home. i don't look at her, or talk to her, i just instruct megan to continue reading my book. i figured out that was why mamma was putting me in day time clothes sometimes at night. because she just takes me out of my crib and puts me in the car seat before i even know what hit me. i love school and i am learning a lot (i can pick out ANYTHING blue and i know a few letters and i can sing "wheels on the bus" a song mamma didn't even know) but i think that for a child my age, that is too long to be at school. i have said before that mamma does things that aren't good, and so far my pleas for help have been ignored. i mean, isn't there someone who can give HER a time out at the Wall for being naughty? where is HER mommy? i think HER mommy should give her The Wall for making me stay at school so long, staying away from ME so long, not letting me go outside when i tell her i want to. and don't even get me started on dada. i will make mamma give HIM the Wall when he gets back for staying away so long.

well, i forgot what i was going to write about. this wasn't it. so, thanks for stopping by and reading this.

PS mommy said she is going to buy me a potty

aah fantasies

mommy is worried about me. she said she needs to find a book about people my age, because she doesn't know what to make of me. am i crazy (a distinct possibility considering my parents) a genius (also a possibility) or just a drama queen (not sure where that would come from)


now, mommy is always worried about me so i can't worry about mommy's wory of the moment. i have bveen complaining of a lot of specific boo boos lately. today in the bath i said i had a tummy ache. see, mom hasn't taught me that word and i don't hear her using it to describe herself, so she's all freaking out about do i really have a tummy ache and made me show her where i thought my ache was (um, i pointed to my tummy). then she started bitchin about not drinking the bath water because that won't help the tummy ache. but it did, mom. it helped. it was exactly what i needed. you drink tea sometimes. my infusion was warm steeped lavender soap with pee pee essence. i love it, it's my favorite. that is why i am always sucking the washclothes.

then there was a block on thr floor and mommy asked me to put it away and there was an "H" on the side facing up, so i said "aych" and mama was like "huh!!!!" say that again, what is thaT? who told you that ? oooooh. i remembered the "H" i didn't know any other letters she flung at me after saying one right. she is so freaking weird. she got all weird when the timer when off on the microwave and i said "ok to open microwave" and she was like "hey, i never taught you that word! you are a genius! "oh and on and on she went. ahe ahould be smart enought to know that i LISTEN to everything. i spit things back that i remember when appropriate. now, i might be a genius indeed. however, i just don't think these little tricks qualify.
mamma repeated the trick she did several days ago: packing lots of food and dressing me in comfy day clothes to put me to bed. well, here we go again. only this time i know what's up. she is going to take me fully dfressed, befoere i wake up into the cvar and bring me to school where i get to spend 12 hours and 15 minutes there. then my teacher, ms. megan (mmmmmmmmmmm ms. megan.)
















oh sorry. i was just thinking about ms megan and forgot myself. anyways, i bring ms. megan back to my place after school and we have a little dinner, a little whine, nice bubble bath.....then it's off to bed. oh yeah. i mean, after i put away my books and brush my teeth. shut up. i am NOT too young to think like that. she rocks me to sleep and then i see her again the next day. hopefully momomy comes home before i am asleep.

i DON'T have a problem.

so for the last 2 nights whilst getting PJ's on, i have insisted on not wearing a top. i don't know how other 22 month old kids communicate, but i made my point loud. and. clear. no shirt. shorts. socks, if you insist (mom thinks because HER feet are always cold then mine must be, too, so it's socks at the oddest time). no shirt.

mom said she was putting on PJ's but i noticed that they weren't really PJ's, they were more like sweat shorts and a t shirt (as you know, the t shirt stayed off). i didn't completely understand why she would dress me in day time clothes when she just bought me a bunch of new PJ's. hmmmmm. i am suspicious, she also packed 2 days worth of breakfasts, lunches, several snacks and dinners. something is definitely up.

i like drugs. yeah. it's true. i do. look, don't knock it till you have tried any brand of children's motrin, okay? i saw mom chugging out of the children's benedryl once--she won't let me have that, but i have a connection and i am gonna get hooked up, man. till then, it's motrin. i have it figured out, too. last night she gave me motrin because she said i felt "warm". well, tonight, in the bath, i pulled my hair and said i had a booboo in my hair and i needed medicine. i really said that. (it sounded like "oooow, gah boo boo in da hah. need meh-sin?) mamma was like, "well um, don't pull your hair, goof ball" so, then i pulled out my ace in the hole. i started tugging on my ear and said "gah boo boo in da eeeah" since i am prone to ear infections, i know homegirl doesn't mess around with ear stuff. yup. got my motrin. suckah!

last night, when i wanted MORE motrin, after i got the first dose, i said i had a boo boo in the eye. mom said i was full of balony and just wanted more medicine and medicine was serious stuff, not dessert. so, i didn't get more. then, when i got to school today, one of my teachers said "what is wrong with his eye? look, it looks like he has a little bit of a black eye?"

i am almost 2 years old. i have been around the block--holding mom's hand, but still, it counts. i know how to man-ip-u-late a situation, especially when it comes to the old lady's guilt. that eye boo boo should be good for a few doses. unless she reads this and is on to me. i also said i had a back boo boo yesterday which freaked mom out a little because she thought it was odd that i would actually put my hand on my back and day "oooh, got a boo boo on the back"

i can stop the motrin whenever i want.

PS: tiffani combed my hair the other day so now mom started combing my hair, all parted on the side and i think i look like that booger-eating kid on the simpson's. this will not be tolerated.

i can articulate all kinds of feelings. mmmm feelings

woke up at 4am. wouldn't stop crying. as you may know, i don't cry very much at all, so it is distressing to mom and me when i do. even when she held me i didn't stop crying. sometimes i don't know how to say what is wrong with me. i am pretty good at saying if i have a booboo or if i want something, but sometimes i have things i can't say. finally, i stopped crying and became happy when mom turned on the light. mommy thinks i have suddenly become afraid of the dark. she asked ms. hattie, one of my teachers, if she thought that was the case. ms. hattie said "is his dad still gone" which he is and she said, "well, get a night light and give him a picture of his dad and see what happens. so, mamma left on the hall light and kept my door open and she printed out 4 pictures of dada, and put them in a binder for me. i have been very fussy in general the last 2 days. i am crying and whining a lot and being naughty. i don't know why. i am not feeling very good lately in some way. but i don't know in what way. i don't like it and neither does mommy.

this wasn't a very clever or funny entry. but sometimes i have serious business on my mind. mom said she thinks i get upset because i don't know how to ar-TIC-you-late my feelings. but, i don't think that is true, because sometimes i like to feel, well, never mind, i better quit while i am ahead.

mommy post

well, it's official. donovan is always bragging about his vocabulary and his ability to say new things. i knew there would come a day--and i knew it would be soon--when i had to start watching my mouth. you know. little pitchers and all that shit---ooops, i mean stuff. that day is today (dum DUM DUUUUUUUMMMMMM)

so today, he dumps over his bowl of cottage cheese. so i say (as per usual) "dammit donovan!" and clean it up. well, he decides that now is a good time to day dammit. over and over, of course. "dammit dammit dammit dammit" ha ha. then, when i was relaying the story to someone on the phone, he started jumping around saying "dammit dammit"

okay. so mommy gets to wash her mouth out.

then. well, this is kind of funny. he comes up to me and said "got poops" which is what he has been saying lately, which he may have told you makes me very happy because even though i am in no hurry to potty train per se, certainly recognizing caca in the pants is a good first step in the process. so, i looked down his drawers and saw no poop. so i said, "no poop. you must have just farted" so what do you think the big d says? "no poop. just fart" and let me tell you he said "fart" like a pro. he got that "efff" sound very clear and, unlike most little-kid words, the "r" sound was quite distinct as well. "fffaarrrrrt" so much of what he says is clear only in context or if you know him well. not this time. clear as a bell. no poop, just fart.

now i am not advocating in teaching the young ones to swear. i don't even want to imply that i think it is cute. we will certianly nip this. but, all firsts are worth mentioning and i am sorry---call cps for my thinking it's funny, but dammit---er--i mean, darn it all---it was funny.

take me to the mall, chomp

so i got The Wall in public today. yeah. i hit mom while we were in the co op. she took me out of the cart, found an actual wall in the grocery store--by the milk--and made me stand there. we are pretty sure no one else noticed. i thought about screaming, but then thought the better of it. i also got The Wall twice for biting at home AND i wasn't allowed to have any blueberries AND i wasn't allowed to finish watching the brother bear movie mom rented for me. brother bear is one of my favorite books. i didn't know they made movies out of books. i would have liked to have seen it. did you ever think i might be teething, mom and i am having achies and painies? didja? huh?

today me and mom crosed paths in the kitchen and slightly bumped into our arms or something--no big geal, so i said "oh, sorry, my fault" mom thought that was cute--she had never heard me say that before, so i said "sorry, my fault" several times just to make up for making her mad at me for biting.

then i asked to go to the mall today. yes i did. and when she said no, i said, "Please please go mall" i don't see why it is strange that i wanted to go to the mall. i didn't really. i was just showing off my vocabulary. i saw the mall, so i asked to go.just showing off.

i have to work on this biting thing. i am starting to really really not like time out at The Wall.

oh the genius that i am. you will all bow to me someday. ooo-oooh-ooo-ah-AH-AAAH

well....just got home from the trip to gramma and papa's. i was a very good boy on both ends of the trip, if i do say so myself. i mean, it took about 586 hours to get there and even longer to get back because mom had to stop at the outlets. oh, we didn't stay long. i made sure of that. mommy left the coach outlet in a big hurry (but i was only doing what dad told me to do in that store) altho, i admit it, i had fun carrying bags around. i could say "oooh, this is a big bag" or "oh, this is a little bag". the lady in the eddie bauer store did not seem to be amused with me or impressed with my cuteness the way most people are. she even suggested to mom (ha ha) that i should probably be in a stroller. mom made me apologise to the lady for being naughty. that seemed to help. oh, THIS was impressive to mom:

mom discovered that for SURE i know the color blue. she had a suspicion, but i made way too many references to blue things that were acutally blue. neither me nor mom know when kids are supposed to start recognizing colors, so we are just going with the "genius" theory. but that was actually a segueway. in the eddie bauer store, i floored mom AGAIN when we were in the dressing room and she was trying on some shirts. i said, "oh, a purple shirt" and indeed, she was trying on a purple shirt. i almost thought i was in trouble, because she was like "who taught you purple? how to do you know purple" and i wanted to be like, um, i mean, yellow, those are nice yellow, um PANTS, yeah. purple shirt? what purple shirt? but it turns out she was just surprised and happy at, you guessed it, my genius.

is anyone else concerned at the pressure this woman might inadvertently be putting on me by convincing me that i am a genius? i mean, somehow that is going to come back to haunt all of us. and if i don't get a brother or sister, then i am going to have to be the genius AND the athlete AND etc. we are going to have to talk to mom about doing something about this.

anyways, back to my genius. more things mom discovered i could do and say over the weekend.

~~say gramma and grand pop. only for me, it is binna (accent on the BIN) and papa. those old folks are AWESOME. they read me stories--lots of them---played with me---showed me golf balls and dominoes and gave me lots of hugs. i can't wait to see them again.

~~say "this" as in, "open this" "move this" "take this outside" think about it. "this" is kind of a tough concept. but not for me

~~say "right here" as in "sit right here by mama" "put this truck right here" "sit down right here"

~~ say "play" as in "go outside to play" "go to park to play" "papa go outside and play" these are all things i have actually said. i don't care if you are not impressed -maybe YOUR kid said these things at 18 months, maybe he came out talking. i am still a genius. yes i am. i AM. yes! I! AM! Moooooooooooom!!!!!!!

~~say "want some" this is particularly cute. now, when i want whatever mom is eating or drinking and i want a taste, i say "want some" but, i say it like a question. the reason i do this is because every time mom offers me something of hers, she says "want some?" so now, i save her the trouble and say "want some?" never underestimate the power of cute (except in eddie bauer). yesterday, when we went to that hoedown place (more on that later) we all got ice cream. oh wait, it wasn't then. it was the day before. whatever. anyways, i scored my own ice cream and like 1/2 of papa's all because i could say "want some?" with the little question inflection.

~~i can ask for oranges. my latest fruity obsession---the packaged mandarine ones. i guess PAHblehblehblehbleh and boobays are out of season now. but it's "oh-nays" check this out "want some? oh-nays?"

~~and the best thing of all. and i am not even freaking kidding you guys. i can count to 10. oh yes i can. you can ask my mom, my binna AND my papa. mom might lie but binna and papa won't. i can count from one to ten. and i can even alternate numbers. like; mom says one and i say 2. mom says 3 then i say 4 and so on. now. i have no idea what it means to count to 10. i mean, what is 4. hell if i know. but i can count to 10 and that makes me a genius.

well, i will post again and mention all the fun i had at the old folks home in the mountains. i am going to let the magnitude of my brilliance as a22 month old child set it because i know youcan hardly stand it.

pictures of MOI

i miss my dad



pointing.






yeah i'm a ham, so what?

well, it was cute to mommy

so this morning, i wanted to go bye bye pretty early. mom said she had to get dresssed first. so i picked up what was on the floor and said "mama wear dis?" and she said no, because it was the pajamas she wore last night. so i walked ithe jammies over to the washing machine, and altho it took a couple tries for mama to understand what i was saying because i had never said it before, she understood that i was saying "donovan put in washing machine?" which i did, then i said "donovan turn on washing machine?" which mama said no to. she thought i was very cute and helpful with that whole exchange. now i hear her saying things like, "donovan, do you think it would be FUN to do laundry? do you want to do laundry EVERY DAY? do you want mama to teach you how to FOLD laundry?" tomorrow it is off to gramma and pop pops!