What Am I Doing Here?

it's windy outside

2008-11-30T16:11:00.004-10:00

so we got our christmas tree. this year, we got a pretend one instead of a real one. it came out of a box and it already had lights on it. but i got to decorate it. i was very happy to do that because i broke mom's favorite ornament 5 minutes after the decorations came out of the attic. she didn't even have to yell at me. i cried as soon as i broke it. but, she let me hang ornaments that were not breakable. except the south park ones. they are breakable and had to go on the back of the tree, but i was allowed to hang them. i am also very excited about the snow globe my mom has. she said it was her mommy's.

we are eating a lot of turkey soup, which i love. except today we went to fridays. me and mommy and daddy went out with sue and debbie, who i love very much. of course, we did have turkey soup for dinner. with cranberry sauce.

i have decided i want to go to astronaut school. i really really really want to be an astronaut.

also, today i learned how to read. of course, i can read everything, but the words mommy drew on the tub that i sounded out were cup, tub, tug, cat and rocket. it was very very very hard. but, now i can read. astronauts have to know how to read.

also, in 2 weeks i am going on a plane to see a bunch of people. i am going to ask the plane driver if we can also drive to the moon instead of new york and i think he will take me.

what does mommy mean, "is he going to end up one of those people?"

2008-11-25T01:43:00.003-10:00

i've discovered video games. i kind of feel like you all have been keeping this cool thing from me. so, i am a little mad at all of you. this is better than movies, better than playing with toys, better than going to school, better than my mommy and daddy. better than anything. certainly better than blogging. so. if you all will excuse me, i have to go rescue all the pieces of the moon so the sea turtles can find their way into the ocean. why didn't i know about this sooner?

2008-11-19T14:46:00.004-10:00

why i will have no trouble getting women later in life

2008-11-15T18:52:00.003-10:00

my room is newly decorated. pictures if i can figure it out.

the scene: mommy and me at the mellow mushroom, having lunch. me across the table from mom.

mom; hey donovan, don't you want to come sit next to mommy?

me: no, mommy. i can see your pretty face better from here.

happy birthday!

2008-11-09T18:23:00.002-10:00

fABULOUS WEEK, OTHER THAN NOT BEING ABLE TO POST PICTURES.

Fabo thing one: barack obama is president of the world!

Fabo thing 2 : today is auntie karen's birthday!!!!!

Fabo thing 3: i can fly like a beautiful butterfly.

problem one: i am not allowed to write on anything that isn't paper, but paper is made out of wood and wood isn't paper, so i guess i can't write on paper. mom loved that one. see---i can karate chop her with my superior logic. she says i give her a headache.

happy birthday auntie karen!!!!
http://ren119.blogspot.com/

NO Titan Cement in Wilmington NC

2008-10-30T01:40:00.003-09:00

so, i went to my first Protest. it was fun. a bunch of people holding signs. cars honking their horns at us. i got tired of holding the sign after a while and there were some boys there my size and we played spiderman, except one boy said i wasn't the real spiderman, even though i am and he said i could be black spiderman, but i can't be black spiderman because i am the real spiderman, but we had fun anyways. never learned their names....
hopefully, we can help keep away the cement factory they want to build here. mommy was very upset over the pink cement truck with the big pink ribbon on it, but i don't know why.

i AM the real spiderman.

said by me today

2008-10-27T03:47:00.002-09:00

me: mommy, why do teeth come out of your gums?
mommy: teeth are like bones you can see. and you need them to chew your food.
me: actually (yes, i say "actually" a lot) teeth are not for chewing food. teeth are posts that hold up your brain. but if you have the wrong size posts, they come out of your gums.

sarah palin is satan

2008-10-23T16:18:00.000-09:00

this post has nothing to do with her. i heard mommy say it, so it must be true. mommy had a very big surprise birthday party for her. she was very surprised and now we have lots and lots and lots of bottles of wine. here are some things i have said recently:

setting: in the back yard with mom. looking at some dirt.
me: look! it's people!
mommy: where honey? is something shaped like people? are you using your imagination?
me: no..right there. the dirt. when you die, you turn into dirt, so that's people.

setting: mommy and me snuggling in bed, talking about my day at school.

mommy: did you play with A____?

me: oh yes. she was snow white.

mommy: who were you

me: i was the prince.

mommy: oh really. did you kiss her?

me: oh yes, i really did. and her bestest friend in the world, A___, she was the wicked stepmother.

mommy: where did you kiss her.

me: on the head.

mommy: did she like that?

me: she didn't mind. she was dead. she didn't mind anything

scene: mommy and me talking.

me: well, i am all out of thoughts. your brains are actually thoughts and i am all out of thoughts. so, i need to get a new brain.

mommy: where would you get a new brain?

me: i don't remember what i said here.

me: when you have a thought, a piece of your brain goes into your mouth and then it's gone. the middle of your brain is where all the thoughts hook on to. and it's sticky. so sometimes, when yourun out of thoughts, your brains fall out.

i would really like help with my question

2008-09-21T15:24:00.004-09:00

i think i have been writing on this thing since i was 1 year old. a baby. now, i am 4. as of yesterday. practically a grown-up! my gramma and papa came and spent the whole week with me, which was very fun, because i love them, even though gramma is a peanut butter thief. and my real birthday was yesterday. i got a new bike with brakes on the handle bar AND a water bottle--just like mommy's and daddy's bike. and it has very big tires, so i can go very very fast. i also got an etch-a-sketch and some new underwear. i am so excited to get new underwear. it's an awesome present for a kid.

oh wait a second---NO IT ISN'T!!!!!!! underwear is a DUMB darn-it present. why would my parents think that is a good idea. my parents also gave me new books: the little mermaid and snow white. what? what's wrong with it? my mother thinks snow white is a disgusting horrible story, so i have to keep an eye on the book because i think she might take it back. she claims she "didn't realize" what the story was. right, mom. i also got neat army men and a stealth plane and 2 movies from gramma and papa. tiff & jason took me to a party for someone else in the afternoon--but everyone there knew it was my birthday, so i got the first piece of cake. i love them. they like taking me out. then we went out for a birthday dinner. mom said i could have whatever i wanted and you know what i asked for (i didn't even have to think about it)---SODA!!!!!!!!! oh yes, i got it too! and i got ice cream and everyone in the restaurant sang happy birthday. it was a good day, but not over....

today is the day after my birthday, but it's like my birthday is really long, because at school (on friday) we had cupcakes and a party and today was my REAL birthday party! unfortunately, gramma and papa had to leave, so they didn't go to the party. too bad, because it was really really really really really really really REALLY fun! we went to a gymnastics place where the kids and grown-ups can play. there was a LOT of kids there---from school, from church, friends my mommy works with, my neighbor, some brothers and sisters of kids. i think everyone had a very good time. and mommy is up very late trying to write thank you notes. tiff and jason and family who live far away and people who came to the party.....i got a LOT of presents. lots of very cool presents. i am not going to tell you everything i got because, well, there are a lot of reasons why not to. other than the darn-it underwear, i will say there is not one present i didn't like. and i had a spider man cake that was really a whole bunch of cupcakes. it was cool.

i hear mommy and daddy going on about how i got too much stuff and people are so generous and it makes mom feel all weird. but see, i'm 4 years old and for the first time, i UNDERSTAND that birthdays are ALL ABOUT THE PRESENTS! hell-o!!!!!!!! i knew it was coming, i knew what to look for. and my friends gave me the coolest stuff! no one gave me any clothes (except one person, ehem---spider man underwear is still clothes) some stuff i knew what it was, some stuff i never saw before, but liked the looks of it. i LIKED getting presents! can someone please explain to me why mommy "feels so weird" about it all? is it that she wants the presents herself? does she think presents are bad? really. i want to know. i know some grown-ups read this. maybe if you read this and you think someone else has an answer , you can forward them this blog and they can try to answer. the question of the day: why does mommy "feel weird" "humbled" about me getting a lot of very cool presents for my birthday. is it the "a lot" or the "very cool" (versus darn-it underwear) presents or for "my birthday". please pass it around.

every kid in the world should have their birthday at a gymnastics gym. it is THE funnest place in the whole world, even more fun that monkey joes. i want to take gymnastics lessons. i am not taking dance any more. spider man doesn't dance. and i'm spider man

i have a new babysitter

2008-09-01T15:17:00.002-09:00

i can't believe i am going to write this. don't tell anyone or someone might come to take me away from my mommy and daddy. daddy had to work all weekend and mommy had to clean out the back bedroom. so, mommy let me watch The Little Mermaid all weekend. over and over and over and over and over and over. i watched The Iron Giant, too, but i was really into ariel and the sea witch this weekend. i think there was one other time a long time ago i got to watch movies all weekend, but this was insane. it can't be good to do that. i didn't really feel that good doing it. i got a headache. i even told mommy that "my thoughts were coming out of my brains." mommy said that was from watching too much t.v. i think we all learned a valuable lesson and won't be doing THAT anymore. we went to the pool for a few minutes and went to on a bike ride to the swings for a few minutes, but it was nothing compared to the amount of t.v. i watched. ugh.

my brain is NOT going to be top form for starting my first da of pre-k tomorrow.

today is my birthday

2008-08-28T16:53:00.006-09:00

not really. but i decided i wanted it to be. mommy asked me if i wanted to bake a carrot cake today and i told her "that's disgusting" (which is by the way, my new favorite thing to say). so she asked me what i wanted to bake and i said a birthday cake--a blue one with red frosting. so, we went to walmart and bought a mix and tub of frosting--white--and we made cupcakes and put food coloring in them. and i decided that it was my birthday. i even put candles in my cupcakes. happy birthday to me!

conversations recently had with mom, that some might think are interesting. i dunno. just trying to express my opinion. ask a question. you know. i'm almost 4. inquiring minds wanna know, y'know?

there is a cement factory that might be built near our town and mommy and daddy are mad about it. a long time ago, we went to a meeting in an old building with a lot of other people who think its a bad idea. i was thinking about it recently and asked mommy why we went to that meeting. when she told me, i said

"i can think of 2 reasons why it is good to build a cement factory here. one, is people can have nice furniture with cement inside and two, you can build foundations for new houses." you know, she said i was right and that they were two very good reasons and that everyone can have an opinion. see, i THINK about this stuff. clearly, mommy doesn't.

the other thing i said was "gas is like food for cars." mommy said something like, yes my genius son. you're right. you're brilliant. not quite a direct quote, but she said something probably pretty close to that. then i said "what if cars used electricity instead of gas?" mommy said that pretty soon that might be true. probably because i said it. don't let anyone tell you a 3-almost-4 year-old didn't invent electric cars. because i did. yes i did. YES I DID!!!!! stop lying and saying i didn't! i DID YOU BIG DARN DOODY HEAD!

one last exciting thing

2008-08-19T17:10:00.002-09:00

so over the weekend i say ti mom something like "i wanted to get out the boogers so i put the green from the tomato in my nose and now i can't breathe at all" apparently mommy thought i could breathe okay, because she didn't panic. couldn't see the tomato stem with the naked eye tho---oh no--i put it waaaaay waaay up there. lucky for me mommy has an otoscope and she looked up my nose and found it. while calling the vitaline nurse and waiting for her to call back, mommy went to the store to get big tweezers. well, when i found out what she planned on doing with those tweezers, i found a way to snot-rocket that tomato stem right out my nose. no everything is jut fine.

kindergarden here i come!

2008-08-19T16:37:00.002-09:00

what a topic of conversation in our house. first they changed the age to go to kindergarden so i was going to be stuck in daycare (we call it preschool, now) for an extra year. then we heard we could find a way for me to test in early which wouldn't really be early, just when it used to be. then we heard they changed the cut off date back but not until next year, which is when i need kindergarden anyways. and if that wasn't bad enough, at my preschool the transition from OP (older preschool) to either Pre-K or a different OP is a big hot topic. parents have very definite opinions of which class they should go to, which teachers they should have and even which friends (we call students "friends" here )should be in class with them. but they are assigned by the bosses. mommy told the bosses, "you know donovan, so just put him where you think he will be the most successful" mommy said she isn't going to play that "but MY child needs to be here this year!" balony. so am i going to go to OP2 where most of my friends are going? after OP2 then they go to pre-K. or do i go straight to pre-K? then i can get into kindergarden early. or, as my parents say, i can spend 2 years in pre- k if i ain't ready to go to kindeegarden. i think we decided that i will skip OP2 and go right to pre-K. it will be some older kids, but once they realize that i am actually superman, it will be okay. i get to keep my same teachers. mommy says i am going to have to learn things like buttoning my pants and wiping my butt better after i poop. i think pre-k is kind of a big deal. i will start pre-k next week and then next month---i turn 4 years old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

donovisms

2008-08-19T16:18:00.003-09:00

i will tell you all about our family vacation, but first i have to tell you something i told mommy that she thought was funny. i had jotted down a few of my more recent donovisms, but somehow they became missing, which totally sucks(a word i do say).

i mentioned that i am not allowed to talk about how people look. especially if they are fat. especially if they are fat and mommy. well, sometimes i forget. so, i looked up mommy's shirt--it WAS after dinner, so give me a break--and it looked.....like she had eaten a big dinner. so i said, "WHOA MOMMY! YOU.....(this is where i catch myself)...had a big dinner so i just want to make sure your tummy isn't getting ripped out of your skin because then there will be blood and then you'll die. " and that was where i was smart enough to tell the old fat broad that i was worried and i loved her, hug hug. i don't think she caught on to my almost saying what i almost said.

also, i am officially going to preschool this year--next week--and i know it is because i know things like this: said to mommy when asking for a glass of tonic water with lime. no gin, no vodka, just tonic, ice and a slice of lime. just like mommy drinks it. she gives it to me because she can't figure out if it is soda and i am not allowed to have soda unless someone like aunt tiff gives it to me. but me and mommy, we looove our tonic and lime. so i explained to her that "tonic water is good for me because it has a lot of protein in it. and the protein goes into the cells in your blood and takes out the old protein. then the old protein goes out in your poop, so that is why i want tonic water." look, you just can't argue with science. that is the key to getting your way--especially as a kid---prove your point. defend your argument. who doesn't want the bad protein to be wisked away out of the potty.

did i really not post about out Family Vacation? seriously? another time. the hiking... the fishing... the river....the campfires, man it was fun.

i got to spend a weekend without mom and dad recently, which was pretty cool. unca jas and aunt tiff came to my house and spent the weekend while mommy and daddy went away on a romantic grown-up trip without me. i offered to come, but they said no. i had fun with them. but i can't post tooo much about it because one of you readers might be a spy and tell mommy what we did and what we ate and all that. we had a good time, let judt lave it at that. and yes, there as some drinking. it was one lousy sprite and i handled it just fine.

continuing to play catch up. this is my baby book after all.

2008-08-14T15:29:00.002-09:00

another cool thing. aunt kendra came with the cousins--shea, auryn and cian. shea is a big boy like me but auryn and cian are babies. we had fun tying them up, because all they could do is cry. then. i was so excited to go to the 4th of july fireworks (far-works i say it, here in these parts). mommy is a big fat party pooper (ooops i forgot, fat is a swear word in our house and i am not allowed to call anyone fat, even if they are) because she didn't want to go. she thought it would be too scary. well, i really wanted to go and so did everyone else. turns out everyone really DID like it........except me. right from the first kaboom, i screamed "run! run! get me outa here!" it was like she was pulling me from a burning building, considering the reason i was so afraid was that the fireworks were going to land on us and electrocute us.mommy had to RUN and carry me. i guess it's good she keeps going to that gym. it's interesting that i am so deathly afraid of fireworks but not lightening, which we get a lot of here.

i still like going to monkey joes.

we took a ferry boat to the aquarium, where there are all the fish from nemo living there.

speaking of fish, i took swimming lessons. it was fun. i don't go under water much, because i don't want to get water in my eyes. it was very fun. we went with school. on the bus.

did i tell you that for a few weeks i insisted on sleeping on the floor snuggled up to a fan? yeah. i still am super duper into fans, but i sleep with it very very close to me while i sleep in bed. i often sleep in my buzz lightyear costume from halloween because, well, actually i AM buzz lightyear. i AM.

new fears, suddenly. out of no where. lightening. always loved it. suddenly petrified of it.

i have become an interesting boy. well, usually i am not a boy but lightening mcqueen or buzz lightyear or spiderman or a queen, but still. i am cool. and smart.

recently said to my mom. what was so smart was that when i looked at her big fat belly, i remembered to stop myself from saying that so i just wiggled it and said
"i just wanted to make sure you didn't eat too much so your skin doesn't rip open and then your blood will fly out and you will be dead." that went over better than when i giggled her belly and said "oh my god, look at that big fat belly"

yeah yeah yeah

2008-07-19T15:21:00.002-09:00

well, it's been a while. i start a lot of posts this way, don't i? do you realize i am going to be 4 years old in september? FOUR YEARS OLD!!!!!!!!!!!! altho, i must say, i have had a pretty exciting life, so far.

i have been pretty busy these last few months. too busy to write about it, obviously. i went to my buddy makai's birthday party. he had it at a real farm. it was wicked fun, man. i rode a horse, went for a hay ride, chased around some chickens. and of course, my favorite: ate cake. love birthday cake. i think it is my favorite food. makai is 4.

i told you i saw obama, right? i often shout "YES WE CAN" at various random moments in time. sometimes my mom thinks it is so smart of me and sometimes she tells me to shush.

also, did you know i dressed up like hail? yup. my whole family did. there was this thing, i guess it was a play. last year we were boils. this year, hail. i am still deathly afraid of the cow, like i was last year. it was a fun play. i like to be a plague. there was moses and matzah and hard boiled eggs. if there is food---i'm all over it. next year, we might be slaves. should be a real hoot!

OH! my dance recital! gramma a papa came to visit a long long long time ago---20 years ago, i think. it was may. man. that was a big weekend. i had my dance recital. i was in tap and ballet, you know. i like to dance. i had a cape and a bow tie and when i wore my tap shoes, i was a magician. some of the girls in my class were my Lovely Assistants and then they left the stage and then i waved my magic wand and then the other girls came out and they were bunnies! they curtsied, but i'm a boy and boys don't curtsey, they bow. and then, when i wore my ballet shoes, i was a dog trainer and all the girls in my class were doggies and they jumped thru my hoop. i can post pictures. i will have my daddy help me. probably not my mom, because she doesn't know how to do that stuff. that same weekend, i also had my "dedication." it was okay. i got up in front of the whole church and rev. elaine said a bunch of stuff and tiff & jason became my godparents. i don't know what that means. in fact, a couple weeks after that, we went to tiff's dad's house (does that make him my godgrandfather?) for a pigpickin'. i like pig. i am learning that chicken and fish and other meat that i like is actually dead animals that hunters kill. did you know chicken hunters give us chicken nuggets? it's true. but i liked the pig pickin. i just didn't realize that that it was a real piggy. this might be something i need to think about more.

there was another party.....jackson had his birthday party at the same gym i had my birthday party at. it was so fun. and this time, mommy was not too fat to jump into and get out of the foam pit. i like jackson. and i really like to go to birthday parties at gymnastics.

so here we are, well, into summer....digging the garden i have with my mommy. we started with a lot of veggies, but i like the tomatoes the best. turns out the tomatoes are almost the only thing doing any good. i have to go.

real quick

2008-04-30T20:03:00.000-09:00

can't write much, michael moore is going to be on larry king. is it worthy to mention i am starting to have preferences of what clothes i wear? mom thought i skipped over that phase, since other kids care earlier. late bloomer i guess. it started simple enough. i liked pants that didn't have buttons, because they are hard for me. no problem. but now i have all kinds of ideas of what to wear. i like to see how far i can push it. i get farther with dad than mom. dad let me wear my chicken costume to school 2 weeks ago. the costume i wore at halloween when i was ONE. so what the feet were on my knees. i'm a chicken, bak bak.

i am a lot of things.

a chicken for a while
jelly fish
shark
spiderman
yesterday i was a kitty
sometimes a queen.

so?

i should keep a list of all the things i am because i am many many things.

did i tell you how obsessed i am with my new bike? i love it and i ride it fast, all the way to california.

sequins bikes and obama

2008-04-28T12:56:00.002-09:00

so things are pretty good. i got my costume for my dance recital which is coming up (my dad is apparently not very happy with it. does anyone know what sequins are and what is wrong with them? are they like germs?) i have a top hat and i have been practicing my bows.

also, someone i know gave me a free 2 wheeler bike. i am now into bike riding like you wouldn't believe. we went out and got me some training wheels for the bike, and i can ride it no problem. my bike looks a lot like mom and dad's, which is really cool. "cool" is one of my newest words, by the way. but now, i can ride my own bike and not ride in that back seat thing on mom's bike. i think i am going to try to ride my bike to california. i know it is far, but i will wear my helmet, so i think i can do it.

i did another really really cool thing today. i even got to take the day off from school to do it. i went to see barack obama make a speech and answer questions. i got to do The Wave and yell "yes we can!" and of course i bowed when people clapped, because i know they were there to see me AND obama. it was very very very loud and it lasted a little too long. but i amused myself by saying i had to go potty really bad several times. that way i got to stay moving. and mommy and daddy didn't get too bored (mostly daddy) because they had to take me to the potty. go obama!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYikzsK9rMY

there is more to life than mommy and daddy

2008-04-14T17:14:00.003-09:00

well let's see! my auntie tiff and unca jason picked me up in their pimped out saturn (marred only by the addition of my carseat), which i remember so well. it was azalea fest--pretty big party here in the port city--and i got to go with auntie & unca. no mommy....no daddy! you know what that means don't you! oh yeah! brig on the cotton candy (YUUUUUUUUM!) bring on the soda(forbidden nectar of the gods i have been trying to get my lips on for so long!-double YUUUUUM!). there was way more fun that i can't even post here because my mom will find out suffice it to say it was fun. they learned that i know how to spell pharmacy (altho i don't understand why it doesn't begin with "f") and that i know a quesadilla is a quesadilla and not a pizza (did they really think they could pull that over on me?) it was awesome. super fun day and nothing to do with the parents. is this how life is? i won't be spending the rest of my life having most of my fu with mommy and daddy? really? hmmmmmm. kind of opens up a whole new world, don't it?

then, as if on cue. here i am, outside, minding my own bizniss (mommy properly supervising me of course) when my next door neighbor came over--she is 6--can you believe it-- 6! and she wanted to come play in my yard with me. and she had her cousin, she was a grown up, she was 10 to splay with us. kids came over, UNINVITED, to MY yard and said "do you want to play football with us?" how cool is that??????? then we all discovered how fun it is to climb on a hammock. that was the real bonding activity, i'd say. by this point, i was wishing mom would go away, since i was playing with big kids. and i noticed she did go in the house more and more to stir the soup or something i really felt like a big kid.

yeah. i had an awesome weekend. and awesome life. friends to hang out with. oh yeah. i'm cool.

a letter to mom and a poem

2008-04-08T14:47:00.003-09:00

a poem made up by me, today:

the sun is shining on my head
i hope it doesn't rain again

yeah, just call me shakespeare

dear mom,

please take me to get my hair cut. i know you thought it would be cute to see my hair get long. but there is something you have to realize. clearly, i have daddy's hair. our hair doesn't get long, it gets big. my hair is big. it makes my head look very big. i am starting to look like a q-tip. please. what do i have to do to get you to take me to cut my hair? i don't really need to beg, do i? i spelled bat, b-a-t. doesn't that count for something? please mom.

love,

your son.

variation of a toothbrush theme song

2008-04-02T16:03:00.002-09:00

mommies version:

brush brush brush your teeth
get them nice and clean
keep away cavities creeps
so you don't make them scream

donovan's version

brush brush brush your teeth,
keep them nice and clean
make sure no mold grows in your teeth
so you don't get sick in your stomach

it made sense to me

2008-04-02T13:28:00.003-09:00

i don't know why mommy felt this was worthy of repeating, it seemed pretty straight forward to me, but, i guess you can judge for yourself.

i was eating this AWESOME lollipop one of my teachers gave me at school when i was picked up by lame old mom.

she was gabbering about lollipops not making me big and strong and full of sugar and she wishes i wouldn't eat it. i wasn't totally listening, of course, because how can you pay attention to "blah blah blah blah cavities" when you are eating a yummy lolly? duh. but something must have creeped in somewhere, because,

i said to lame old mom: my brain is telling me not to lick this lollipop

lame-o mom: but your mouth probably wants you to lick it because it is yummy in your mouth, even tho it is not good for your body

ummm--YEAH---whaddya think? so i said "i don't want to listen to my brain. i want to listen to my mouth. i wish i could take my brain out so i could just keep licking my lollipop"

i don't know why that is funny. i just want to enjoy my freakin' lollipop!

lessons learned, from mommy

2008-03-23T11:57:00.002-09:00

it was a beautiful idea: donovan wakes easter morning and stumbles upon a little egg and a chocolate shaped like a carrot. "what's this?" he would say, quietly to himself. then, just ahead he would notice a small shiny bunny--he would recognize it as a piece of chocolate. hey! another egg! and another one! he would follow the little trail of eggs and candies to the motherload--his easter basket! "Mommy! Daddy!" he would exclaim, happily "The easter bunny was here! The easter bunny was here!" mommy, being the wicked cool mom that she is, would let donovan have a couple pieces of candy before breakfast. donovan would feel like a king, getting candy before breakfast and the day would proceed with our happy little family celebrating spring.

what actually happened: donovan wakes at 4am, to take off his wet pull ups and crawl into bed with us. he notices a chocolate shaped like a carrot. opens it, takes a bite, realizes he is surrounded by candy. not wanting to blow this stellar opportunity, he closes--actually closes mommy and daddy's bedroom door-- and proceeds to stuff his face. at some point, mommy, trying to salvage the moment, goes to see what her darling son has discovered. "it's candy" she thinks he said, but can't quite understand because he has a mouthful of jellybeans "the easter bunny brought it for me and told me to eat it". mommy says, why don't you see what else there is, after the sun comes up. donovan agrees, and unbeknownst to mommy (at the time) comes to bed clutching his chocolate carrot, which you, dear reader, will remember he had taken the wrapper off of. if we actually fell back asleep, we awaken to birds singing and smeared, melted chocolate (at least i think that is what is was) all over the bed.

on the positive side, we didn't have to fix a special easter breakfast before church because the amount of candy that continued to be consumed. also, he doesn't like "peeps"

it has been a long, long sugar filled day. i WILL remember what i did at halloween, which is take advantage of his innocent age and throw the rest of the candy out. as far as he knows, once easter is over, the candy disappears. which it will.

excuse me, i have to check the laundry to see if the chocolate came out of our sheets.

product placement candy man, dinosaurs, reading

2008-03-22T15:35:00.003-09:00

happy easter. i saved easter for myself, barely. i heard mommy mention to dad that we were going to just skip easter because, "what's the point--he's only 3"or some such garbage. easter was never one of the big holidays to mommy or daddy when they were little, like christmas or birthdays. and mommy doesn't like me to eat sugar. because they give me cavities. and mommy let me what a video on the computer and there was a commercial and she said commercials are like cavities for your brain and covered her hand over the screen so i wouldn't see it, but i made her move it and now i really want a honda. so, back to easter. look. i go to school. i am smart. i learn about important things like easter. you know what happens at easter? i'll tell you what: CANDY! so, i made sure i told mommy that easter was my favorite holiday because of the candy. so....i know when i wake up the candy man will have come. and of course, i know i have church that day too.

(insert by mommy: yes, he is right. we were going to skip it. but since he learned that easter--the CANDY holiday-- is coming in that fool school of his, the easter bunny--which he does not know of yet--will have come. cleverly, the easter bunny will have left a trail of colored eggs and little chocolate candies from his bedroom, thru the hall leading to his easter basket. hopefully he will find it the way i want him to and not just break his leg on a chocolate carrot. also, we colored easter eggs today. that was a super fun 5 minutes.)

so it has really been a cool weekend ("cool" is my new word. i think it will catch on) well, for one thing, i went to my very first movie in a movie theatre! they have a very very very very very very very big tv. and we sat way way way way way up high, by the projector. and i got to eat popcorn, which i cannot do when i watch movies at home (no eating in the living room). we saw "horton hears a who" and there was an elephant and a mayor. mommy and daddy were very happy because i behaved and we all had a very good time. i am very good at concentrating on things for a long time when i want to, so i concentrated on watching the movie and behaving.

also, we went to the store in the mall that has escalators (one of my favorite things) and daddy was looking at vacuum cleaners (another one of my favorite things). you wouldn't believe they had a grownup version of the same exact toy vacuum i have! that is so cool that they do that! daddy calls it product placing for kids and i'll tell you--it's okay with me! i got to play with the real version of my toy vacuum. when i grow up i am going to buy it! (hoover wind tunnel--yay)

then today after the mall, there was a fair in the parking lot. it had a lot of rides that looked too scary. but i went on some rides that were very fun. i didn't play any games because mommy said the people who want you to play the games are naughty and want to take your money.

now, a few moments of my genius. or at least, a few moments of things i do that get my parents all excited and serious and saying things like "no really, maybe he should get TESTED" they are so freaking weird i can't believe i am related to them. i drew a dinosaur with a long neck eating leaves off a high tree. and he had 2 legs and 2 feet. and imagine that--it LOOKED like a dinosaur with a long neck eating leaves off a high tree. so they are all excited and put it in the fridge of honor

so, then i tried to "f" with their mind a little more. we were out at a restaurant and they give me crayons and i said, "i think i will draw the letter L" and lo and behold, i drew the same thing i drew for dinosaur legs. and of course, they got all wiggy on me, which is always awesome to see.

but i am really really into learning my letters and trying to read. i know all my letters and i know what sound they all make. i don't know about reading, but i know i like to pick out letters when we go out and say what sound they make --like if we pass a fedex truck--i like those. so we;ll see everyone ha to lean to read sometime, right?

next week i start going to my new big kid class. i am happy about it, but i will miss christina and she she and beverly. i am a little nervous because i don't know how to draw a square.

indigo girls

2008-03-11T16:52:00.002-09:00

or, i could have named it "a few of my favorite things" i am really into amy & emily these days. they are the indigo girls and they play guitars. in fact, there is a lullaby cd my mommy and daddy made for me when i was a new born baby and they have played it every single day of my life. make that every single nap of my life because sometimes i go to sleep more than once in the same day. but tonight, i finally stood up for myself and said i want the indigo girls in my night time music. look. i'm 3 1/2 years old. practically a grown up. i think i can pick what music i want to try to not fall asleep to. i particularly like the songs "gallileo" and "joking"

now that i am three 1/2, a whole new world of lessons has been opened to me. and i want to do it all. i have been playing with my mommy's violin and lo and behold, someone offered to give me violin lessons! i said i wanted to take them and he even had a violin my size. so, i think that might happen soon. then, the other day, there was a kids tennis clinic in the courts in my development and i said i wanted to go. so mommy took me. i was by far the youngest kid there, but i did just as good as them big kids. i whacked the ball over the net a couple times. and i have a decent forehand for a 3 1/2 year old.

it was a 90 minute lesson and after an hour i told my mommy i wanted to take a swimming lesson now she said no, we had to wait till it was summer, because we were wearing our hats and coats. she can be such a pain because the pool was right there. all we had to do was tell the swimming teacher (who lives at the pool) that i wanted a lesson. mommy's can be very difficult.

i also want to take gymnastics lessons, which i know mommy wants me to do also. but daddy wants to send me to get soccer lessons, but i can already kick a soccer ball real good. see, there is a problem when mommies and daddies give their kids to many lessons. they end up being weirdos on zoloft before they are 14. and i haven't even mentioned the tap and ballet lessons i have already been taking for the last 6 months (recital coming up!)

the thing is, i really like to learn and i really like to try new things. so mommy and daddy let me. i don't think i am going to take more tennis lessons right now, but it was fun to try. i am also pretty interested in learning how to read, but my genius parents haven't looked for a reading teacher for me! i doubt i will take dance class next year, but we will see! i can pick out most of my letters and i know what a lot of them say.

well, i will have plenty of time to take all kinds of fun lessons of all kinds since, even tho i am a genius and could probably start kindergarden tomorrow, i will have to wait an extra year before starting. that means i won't be in kindergarden till i am 6. this bothers my mommy a lot but i think it is a good idea. the law got changed and they said if you have my birthday you are not allowed to go to kindergarden until you are 6 . oh well. i don't mind.

i start in an older kid class room next week and i am very excited about that. there are going to be 4 year olds in my class. i might have to learn how to read first. but i can make better restaurants with the blocks than the 4 year olds. i make the best restaurants with blocks. i have a scary talent for block-building-restaurants and get this NO LESSONS! just figgered it out all on my own! how's that! peace mah brothers and sistahs (oh did i tell you, i have a baby growing in my tummy. it started out small as a germ and now it is getting bigger. it is a sister and a brother and her name is gloglo)

this'll help me stick to my diet

2008-02-13T14:32:00.002-10:00

not by the big d.

big d's dad has one hand. little kids are not shy about asking questions, which d's dad always graciously answers. one of the preschool classmates was having a discussion with d's dad about this and after several questions about it he asked,

"did donovan's mommy eat your hand?"

ha.

donovan did not write a christmas post. he wanted to and he meant to, but he was so busy playing with all his toys he never got around to it. there was church, santa, food, love. the usual. xmas pageant. you know.

tickets to blue man group

2008-02-12T16:51:00.001-10:00

after giving me (mommy) a hug he said, "i am glad you're fat. that's how i know you're a mommy."

"i love you mommy. i love your pimples and moles."

after reading a book that involved a wishing pebble. i asked d. if you had a wishing pebble, what would you wish for?" this little 3 year old dreamer replies, "i wouldn't wish for nothin'. just love"

mommy was on the phone with the on call nurse because d. was throwing up green. i posed one of her questions to him, so the nurse could hear his answer thru the phone. "did you eat anything yucky today?" "yes," he replied, serious as can be...."i had to eat old leftover broccoli out of the garbage because my mommy wouldn't gie me dinner."

title? what title?

2007-11-28T15:57:00.000-10:00

did i tell you i was buzz lightyear for halloween? i will try to find a picture. it was fun. i liked trick or treating. and, altho i didn't say anything to my mom, i got a little comfused, because i got a whole bunch pf candy--and i DID eat a few pieces that night, but then *poof!* after that, it was gone! i don't know where it went.

i am having a lot of fun at dance class. i can do heel-step and toes-in-the-back and i can bow and i can plié. my recital is may 18, and you are all invited! please come! it might be the 17th, which is granny-frannie's birthday. but i want a lot of people to come to my recital.

how was your thanksgiving? mine was good. we went to a potluck, me and mommy and daddy and then me and mommy went to one of her friends at work and we had dessert and i got to play with a guitar. i love the guitar. i am very good at it (of course).

today we went on a field trip at school and i got to ride in the van and we saw christmas trees and a singer who i don't think was greg greenway, but he played guitar and there was santa claus also. AND mom signed a permission slip to let me watch a movie at school. we had pictures at school and i wore a tie and a vest and pants with suspenders and i looked really good.

i know this is a boring post. too bad.

a picture diary of my summer (a slice)

2007-10-22T16:58:00.000-09:00

in cape cod....on the beach....taking a smachball break. yeah, i see her checkin me out.

chillin with my peeps. buried in the sand. oh yeah.

cape cod has beautiful lighthouses. and you can't really appreciate it unless you skip to it with your cousin

smashball on the beach.

raisin the roof with cuz

taking a break on my hike in the woods

this is higher than it looks.

on the whalewatch. did he say he spotted one starboard? what is starboard?!

bouncy bouncy at my birthday!

swingin off the rope weeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!

mmmmmmmmmm birthday cake. MY birthday cake. i'm a 3 year old man now. look out!

partyin with my buddy jackson

don't hate me because i'm beautiful

these people drove me here

i rock the horse!

but the hay ride was my absolute favorite. what have YOU been up to

3 is the good life

2007-09-27T16:11:00.000-09:00

i do. i have a really good life and i am pretty happy these days. i started my new school. and even tho i miss my old teachers very much, i get to talk to them on the phone, so it isn't so bad. and i will visit them one of these days soon. my new school has a very nice teacher and all the kids use the potty. the potty and the sink and the paper towels are just my height so i don't need a step stool and can do it by myself. and i have a cool lunch box that i bring. and i take stretch and grow and dance class. and i even know some of the other kids in other classes because their mommies work with my mommy and they came to my birthday party. AND mommy sometimes makes me real peanut butter and jelly sammiches, which i thought i had before but it turns out that was a lie (soy nut butter? almond butter? ain't NOTHIN like this real stuff). that might be the best food ever. well, no. friday is pizza day at school. how awesome is that?

i also started sunday school, which is very fun. they let me light a candle...what's not to like about that?

i had a really REALLY REAALLY fun birthday party. we went to a gynnastics place and we jumped on trampolines and off balance beams into big foam pits that the grown ups couldn't get out of, which was funny. and there was a popsickle course that was fun to go thru. i think i want to take gynnastics classes. and i had a cake with trucks on it and it was yummy. and i got a LOT of presents. i think i might make someone sad if i forget to say a present someone gave me by accident, so i won't say everything i got. but i will say there is not one present that i didn't like. and even at 3 years old i know that when you get a bunch of presents there are always a few you kind of just ignore and forget about. but i totally scored and i heard mommy saying it made her "a little uncomfortable" whatever, she is going to have to get over it. no, i don't have too many toys and yes i appreciate all the new things i have. well, some relatives send "checks" or "money" or "savings bonds" and i don't really get that. i am rotating thru each and every toy and enjoying them thoroughly. so there, mother.

today was a good day too. not only did i get 4 books in the mail (i think from auntie karen) but i also went to the dentist for the first time and got my teeth cleaned. she polished my teeth and counted them and put a little hose and a vacuum in my mouth and i got to lay in a chair that went up and down and then they let me watch when they cleaned mommie's teeth. i had no cavities. it was fun.

the only thing that could make things better would be if daddy was here all the time. but, other than that, things are pretty good. i think i am going to like being 3.

ballet and tap shoes yay

2007-09-15T13:00:00.000-09:00

if i keep my underpants clean and dry all day with no accidents i get a surprise after i brush my teeth. sometimes i get books or little cars. my 2 favorite surprises were lip balm (i could give minty kisses) and last week i got a small dustpan with a dust broom. i liked it so much i slept with it.

what?

what's wrong with liking a dust pan? i like things nice and clean, just like my daddy.

mommy said she can't keep giving me so many surprises and that it is going to stop soon. well, shucks mom, i guess that means i am going to stop going peepee in the potty then, huh? i mean, hello?! what's my motivation here? she said something about giving me tokens or some dumb crap so i can turn it IN for a surprise. yeah. mommy is just going to have to learn that if she gives me presents for doing something and then the presents stop rolling in...well....there is such a thing called "natural consequences" i don't exactly know what that means, but i have an idea.

also, my birthday is coming up and i am going to be three and i am going to have cake. also, i am going to have a birthday party at a gymnastic place.

also i am going to start a new school on monday. mommy said we were on the waiting list for a year. they have computer class and spanish class and music class and stretch & grow and dance class. i am going to take computer class and stretch & grow (which i did at my old school) and dance. we got my ballet shoes and my tap shoes already and i am very excited.

i had my last day at my old school yesterday. there was a little party for me and all the teachers gave me lots and lots of presents and they were crying and stuff and mommy said i could visit whenever i wanted. she wouldn't let me open the presents because she said it wasn't my birthday yet. one of the presents is from one of my teacher's mommies. they love me very much at my old school and i love them. i don't know what "last day" means so i will have to ask my teachers on monday. i think it means "birthday" because of the cupcakes and presents.

now my gramma and papa are visiting for the weekend. o love them. grampa plays with me outside which is good because mommy never does and daddy is always in raleigh. mommy has strep throat and is going to take a nap while everyone but her went out to dinner.

what i did on my summer vacation

2007-09-15T12:41:00.000-09:00

when too much time passes between posts, too much flavor just gets lost. i had originally planned to keep a day-byday account of my super awesome vacation.....back in august. so let's see.........

on day one we drove to maryland and stayed in a house with a pretty girl younger than me and their dog maggie who i was very afraid of. i didn't have any peepee accidents at all.

the next day we drove to new york and i didn't have any accidents again. i only used the potty. new york was fun. we saw nona and pop and uncle elliott and aunt sherri. we stayed with aunt sonnie and tom who i love so much and they have this very tiny tiny white dog and i am petrified of her. and i saw my uncle dave and uncle dan which was awesome because i never get to see them. they are my mommies brothers

then a couple days later we drove to the greatest place in the world: cape cod.

i got to play with my cousin who is a big boy, he's 4. they had bunk beds in cape cod and we had pillow fights and played all kinds of games up on the top bunk. my mommy, who as you know is very mean, wouldn't let me sleep on the top bunk even tho it was a bed. i played with my little cousins too, but they were nmot as much fun as my big cousin. and we went on a whale watch on a big boat and we saw lots and lots of whales. we saw there mouthes and their tails and mommies and babies. it was probably the greatest day of my life. and we went to one beach and it didn't have waves and i liked it and we looked for hermit crabs. and we went to another beach and it had waves and i don't like waves. one day we were walking down the street in a place called provinctown and i thought it would be funny to pull my pants down. and a man who sounded like a lady said "oh honey don't do that then everyone will want to start doing it" and mommy was trying to yell at me but she was laughing and that is always fun when i can manage that trick.

oh i forgot before we went on our vacation, conor came to visit. and we went to monkey joe's. conor's mommy is my mommy's friend.

and then, i was doing really good not having accidents in my pants. and then we were in a store and my mommy SAID to the lady that she is potty training me and could we PLEASE use your bathroom and the lady said no, so i peed on her floor. ha. i wish mommy didn't clean it up. mean old lady.

i didn't want to leave cape cod it was the most fun i have ever had in my life and mommy and daddy were with me the whole time and i will never forget it.

then we went back and did a lot of driving again and the whole trip i didn't have any accidents. we went back to new york and we had dinner with michelle and i was very naughty in the resturant. but i was behaving so much, and i didn't want to be there so i was naughty. too bad. and i saw mommy's friend heidi for a little while. mommy wouldn't let me go in her house tho so daddy took me too hoffman's playland where i rode the trains and the boats and the helicopters.

then we went back to maryland again and visited and then we went home.

i was very happy to come home but i still think cape cod is the best place in the world.

no title

2007-08-20T13:07:00.000-09:00

i am on vacation in cape cod. i have already done lots of stuff. stay tuned to the funnest timne of my freakin life.

captain underpants!

2007-07-30T15:02:00.000-09:00

that is the new name mommy came up with for me today. there is a book by this name and neither of us has read it, but she likes calling me captain underpants and i, quite frankly, enjoy being called captain underpants. today mommy decided there would be no more diapers or pull ups for me during the day any more. oh yeah, the teachers at school were thuh-rilled when she brought me to school with 4 pairs of undies and 4 pairs of shorts and said "we're doing underpants now. just do the best you can." you see, i still don't really have this potty thing down. in fact, since the novelty has worn off, i would say my enthusiasm for this little duty (duty--heh hehe heh) has diminished a bit. so i am not really sure why we are suddenly into the underpants. i certainly knew right away when i was standing in the tomato plants that i peed. i kept my pullups dry the other day all the way from raleigh to home---i peed in every bathroom i could get the old lady to stop at. maybe that is why i am captain underpants.

mommy picked me up from school friday and we took a road trip to raleigh, where we were going to spend the weekend with daddy. we stayed in a little house called a hotel room and it had one bed and a little fridge and people on the other side of the wall that i couldn't see. i thought i would love raleigh, because daddy is there, but it turns out i hate it. the house in raleigh is no fun and even though i got to sleep with mommy and daddy, i couldn't sleep so me and mommy went outside at 2:30 in the morning, but it wasn't morning because it was dark and daddy said everyone could hear us and she wouldn't let me climb up and down the stairs. so, we went out to breakfast with daddy and me and mommy left.

then we stopped at the outlets because mommy wanted to buy me some more shorts (now i know why) but it turns out, in july, all you can buy is winter stuff. you can't buy shorts in july. of course. so, i didn't get any. but, i went to a store called "harry & david" and they had these blueberry candies that have renewed my interest in learning to use the potty. mommy let me have some in the store and when i told her i loved them, she bought a bag and said i could have some everytime i used the potty and my pullups were dry. of course, now she means underpants, but on saturday she meant pullups. but that is a pretty hard job, using the potty AND having dry pullups. but like i said---my pullups were BONE DRY all the way home.

pretty soon we are going on vacation and auntie laura and conor are coming to visit also. and we are going to see uncle dave and nona and gramma papa and aunt kendra and all my cousins except i don't really like the beach because i am afraid of sharks. but you know what? today i told mommy skin starts with the letter "s" she was very excited and called daddy. i would have thought she knew skin started with the letter "s" but you never really know with her. mommy made this crap called tempeh for dinner so we ended up going out for a burger instead. well, mommy has to get up and 5 then get me up at 6 so we can get me to school and her off to work so i have to go get my rest so i have energy and mommy needs to read harry potter even though she already read the last page.

no clever title

2007-07-13T08:13:00.001-09:00

i forgot to write comments on my pictures. do you notice how mom is sitting back and letting me, her small child, do all the work? it's a good thing i have my sippy cup on a bungee in front of me. hey guess what! mom decided to keep me home from school today. daddy is in raleigh working, so i have to be at school from very early to very late, because mommy has to go to work. it is very horrible and i think i have bad parents. so, since mommy feels bad about it, she decided to keep me home from school today to hang out with her.
and guess what.
i woke up with a sore throat and we went to the doctor and they said i have strep throat and i have medicine that tasted good and now i feel better but mommy said i can't go to the beach with jackson tomorrow because i might give him my throat but i don't think that is true because i don't share very well, i would keep it to myself and my daddy is coming home today after the sun goes down so i will wack golf balls with daddy and not go to the beach because i feel better and can eat popsicles. AND i went peepee in the potty and kept my pullups dry so i got to get m&ms. i'm 2 and ozzy rules.

kayaking pictures

2007-07-13T08:06:00.000-09:00

2007-07-13T08:05:00.000-09:00

http://www.flickr.com/photos/71701519@N00/799741369/

if you say it, i will say it

2007-07-10T00:48:00.000-09:00

and if it cracks you up when i say it, then i will say it alot. for example, mother put her hand up with tallman and ring man bent down with pinky, index and thumb remain up. then she yelled something that sounded like 'ozzy rules!" it makes this simple woman so happy when i do these types of things, so i appease her by running around with the hand up in that way saying "ozzy rules'.

i can also imitate apparently an old commercial where a little girl says "it's shake n bake and aahh hay-yelped"

i really like knives. have i told you this? i am allowed to use gentle knives. but i am fascinated by all things knife.

the potty thing. my best guess 50-50. you know, sometimes they put me in diapers, sometimes pullups sometimes underear, sometimes i got my goodies out for the world to see. i don't know mommy's feelings about my using the potty. i mean i know she wants me to but if i don't she's like, "oh well, remember next time" do you think she needs to be tougher to get me to remember/ she says i'll figure it out that i am almost there. i am suspissing that she is being her typical lazy self (please please please don't tell mom i said that about her) and is waiting for me to train myself. how stupid is that?! she offers the opportunities and it is up to me to take them. also several mornings after sleeping all night long i woke up with a dry diaper which mom got super excited about. wait. i think i have to go peepeeinthepotty

ozzy rules shake bake and i helped gentle knifes

note to self. really look at web site i have meeting tomorrow potty traininsd gram pop trip

why is water wet?

2007-07-09T15:40:00.000-09:00

holy crap. has it really been that long since i've posted?! that is a dumb question, isn't it? what happens if i post? what happens if i don't? what happens if i ask a question? why? WHY?

what is that?

a fountain.

what does it do?

it sprays water?

why?

for decoration.

why is it a decoration?

it's just water. it's pretty to look at. the birds like it.

what IS water?

2 hydrogens and an oxygen.

is it wet?

you get the idea. constant. and when i say constant, i don't mean, just really often. i mean, con-stant!

hey, guess what i did on the forth of july? you can't guess. i will try to post a picture, but i went kayacking!!!!!!!!! oh yes i did! it was the funnest thing ever. i even got to paddle. miss michelle from mommy's work has 3 kayacks so me and mommy rode in one and now me and mommy and daddy want to buy our own. then at night, while we were in the house eating vegetarian burgers and broccoli cooked on the george forman while the rest of the world ate hot dogs and corn on the cob cooked on a grill, the fireworks started (they are legal here). i do not, i repeat, do NOT like fireworks. so, i got to sleep in mommy and daddy's bed.

oh a way before, my mommy's friend auntie kim came from california for a visit. she is sooooooo pretty. it's nice when we have visitors in my house. i like to wake them up.

oh yea, a while ago, after kim left, me and daddy went, just the 2 of us without mommy, mommy stayed home because she had to work, to see gramma and papa in the mountains and we went on a hike and saw waterfalls. and i helped papa cook hamburgers. it was so fun, i can show you some pictures of that trip too. well, too tired to write more even tho there is more to say. i am doing great on potty training. sometimes i go poopoo or peepee in my pullup or underpants , but sometimes i use the potty too.. and then i can sing the" poo pee in the potty' dance. and i get m&ms when i keep my pullups dry or go poop in the potty. speaking of...............

don't you wish you were me?

2007-05-17T14:58:00.000-09:00

i just wanted to say that i went pee pee in the potty 3 times at school today and for the first time ever--i went poopy in the potty! i am SO on my way to being a big kid!!!!!!! i just wanted to say that! i got m&ms, stickers and a tonka tow truck! all for pushin out a turd. i love my life.

one more thing

2007-05-14T16:03:00.000-09:00

i forgot to mention this cool thing my mom got. see, i have been kind of scared in my room at nite some times and really not wanting mom or dad to leave me at nite. it was getting kind of stressful. for everyone. so i don't know where my mom found this stuff, but it is a spray, and it's called scare-b-gone. and every nite, they srpay it whereever i think there might be something a little scary, like under my bed, mostly. plus, it smells like lysol so i think it kills cooties too. it's awesome.

daddy pitched a tent

2007-05-14T15:35:00.000-09:00

a couple weeks ago, mommy and daddy kept me home from school, packed the car full of stuff and took me to some place called a "camp site." we drove in the car for a long time, then when we got out, we took everything out of the car. i was running around and mommy and daddy put up a plastic house called a tent. i got to bring my sleeping bag. mommy was cranky because she couldn't make a fire. and it was cold outside. so then, mommy and daddy took down the plastic house and we got back in the car and went home. i guess that what camping means. then, mommy set up the tent thing in the back yard and built a nice fire in the fire thing and we went in the tents with our flash lights. mommy actually wanted to sleep outside, but me and daddy talked her back to her senses. it was really cold out there. that was a weird experience and i don't know what i think of it. mommy wants to go to a camp site where she can have a fire and where there aren't golf carts all over the place. daddy wants to camp where he can go fishing and if daddy wants to fish, then so do i.

i gave mommy a hammock for mother's day. i love it because she falls out of it a lot. and that is funny.

now here is the big news. this past weekend was called "potty weekend" and i got to run around nekkid most of the weekend. i am getting lots of practice going peepee in the potty. i got stickers and m&m's and a book (a thomas book). i get stickers every time sit on the potty! and i get m&m's every time i pee in the potty. some times i like it, sometimes i don't feel like it, and mommy and daddy say it is okay. my teachers at school even have the same stickers and ask me to sit on the potty. today, i was washing my hands and i said "uh-oh! what is my body telling me?!!!" and i ran to the potty. this is a pretty fun thing because first of all, my mother has NEVER given me m&m's, PLUS every time i go on the potty mom and dad dance around and cheer and act like complete fools, which cracks me up. they even took me strawberry picking once i went a few times. i haven't gone poop on the potty yet. the other day, i yelled "thankyou! good nite!!" complete with the arm thing, just like auntie karen taught me.

lorri rocks!

2007-04-21T14:46:00.000-09:00

today was a great day! first i went to the roller skating rink to a birthday party and that was so cool! i got right in the skates and i wasn't afraid. i fell a few times but i got up all by myself with no help. i can't wait to do it again. i am very good at it. they even played an abba song, and you know how i love the abba. mommy didn't know they still had skating rinks

then, i decided not to take a nap today so that added a bit more fun to my day (i am starting to reconsider this whole 'nap' thing). we didn't go to the neighborhood pig pickin' today.

and THEN mommy and dad took me to a big people party down the street. we got to yell "surprise" which was fun. there were 2 dogs in there, and i didn't like that very much, but it was a fun party. there were some boys there that i played with. one of the boys, a big boy, a 5 year old said "he's looks like a baby but he talks. he's a talking baby" and then he let me play with him. i know i am articulate for my age, and somewhat precocious, but i still like to tackle. and kick the soccer ball. lorri, one of my neighbors said she would "sugar me up" with m&m's any time i wanted to come over and then send me home. then she tought me how to say "lorri rocks" before we left. i like mrs. lorri. and i think it was kind of her to offer me m&ms.

i am very very exhausted now. i asked my mom what would happen if i drank a cold beer (i don't know why she thought that was funny). she said i would get sick and she would get in trouble.

i did have a bit of a melt down yesterday. it was my first category 5 in public. i threw a train in the book store and then hit mom, so mom picked my naughty self right up and carried my ass right outa there. it was quite a scene getting me out of there. this is what mommy doesn't understand: i wanted to stay in the book store (they have a really nice thomas set in the kid's section). if she just put me down and let me play, i wouldn't have wiggled and screeched like i did. i wouldn't even let her put me in my car seat. i was soo soo sooo mad. i begged her to let me go back into the bookstore, i promised i would behave. i screeched and jumped around the back seat of the car and mom just sat there NOT taking me back in to the store. i coudn't believe it. i kept saying i would behave and she kept saying "i know you will, honey, the next time we come" but i meant i would behave NOW. i am not sure i have ever been so mad at that woman. finally i calmed down and got in my seat and we went home.

well, she made up for it today. today was a great day.

my first interview, from auntie karen who i love and miss

2007-04-20T15:45:00.000-09:00

Five questions for Donovan:

1. What do you say when your mama has finished giving
you a bath?

Thank You! GOOD NIGHT!!!!!!

2. I know you like music, do you have a favorite song
or cd?

that's hard...there are so many....mamma mia...shakira....old skool rap....but i will go with dog train.

3. You seem to really like trains. Do you have a
favorite train?

usually it's thomas, but sometimes the caboose.

4. Why is that your favorite train?

because he's bleeeue and my fray-end and he goes "chugga-chugga cheeeooo cheeeooo"

5. It’s pretty early to decide but what do you think
you might like to do when you grow up?

i want to be a nurse and give people shots and make them feel better. a doctor nurse.

Follow your answers with the sentences below:

If you want to be interviewed by me, please leave me a
comment or send an email saying: "Interview me." (or
the like).

* I will respond by asking you five questions. I
get to pick the questions.
* You will update your weblog with the answers to
the questions.
* You will include this explanation and an offer
to interview someone else in the same post.
* Then others comment asking to be interviewed,
you will ask them five questions and so on.

Thank you! GOOD NIGHT!

2007-04-17T16:19:00.000-09:00

phew! what a whirlwind of a long weekend! finally i got to spend time with my wonderful auntie karen! we hung out and went to the street fair and i sung songs for her (serenading if you want the truth) and shopping and to a bookstore (where she bought me not one, but TWO books--one that came with a roller!). we had so much fun. i have been asking for her all day. i hope she comes back tomorrow when the green light comes on because i love her so much and tomorrow when the green light comes on auntie karen can come back from california and play with me and help me put my tracks together and we can go in my backyard and roll the roller on the dirt. and then i can go to kids at play and monkey joe's and fit for fun.

i just couldn't stop thinking about my auntie karen today. i even kind of, well, got in a little trouble at school today. got sent to the office even. it's just that i wasn't tired at nap time today so i wasn't napping because i was hoping auntie karen was going to come and i guess i wasn't being quiet today either (i had a story to tell the kid next to me on the mats about belly's dancing --i overheard my mom talking about it) so i guess i got sent to the office so the other kids could nap. how could they nap with all the cool stuff i had to tell them?! wussies.

mommy said i should mention in this blog that a lot of mommies and daddies and kids are very sad in virginia today. i want to go to virginia and hug them and love them and make them feeeeeeel better so they won't cry. i bet karen would take me to those sad mommies and daddies and other kids so i can make them feeeeel better. i want to say "don't cry" i will make you feeel better but mommy said that it is okay to cry but we can still hug them in our dreams. once i figure out where dreams are,i will do that.

isn't she the lady who went to a tofu festival?

2007-04-12T17:33:00.000-09:00

so, i am so excited. auntie karen is coming for a visit. she is the one who took pictures of me eating ribs. i hope i can sleep tonight. all day it was "is auntie karen on the plane from california?" i was also asking what would happen if auntie karen takes off her socks, would she have lots of feet and toes? and mommy said that yes, she would.

i admit, i get concerned at times what would happen if a grampire were to ring the doorbell, and come into my house and come into my room. mommy asks me what a grampire looks like and i told her he looked like a count. i worry about these things. and also about the dog next door. he is loud. but i am not really a worrier in general.

mommy and daddy let me grind coffee beans. sometimes they are nice that way. and they are teaching me how to dust, which is super fun. and garden.

so far, we have planted flowers that might have died, broccoli, cauliflower, strawberries, some herbs and some blueberries. but i don't see any blueberries. soon, we will plant tomatoes, cukes, peppers and some other stuff. these are all baby plants and i can't walk on them or drive my trucks on them. i am very careful when i drive my trucks thru the garden. i like to help mom water. that is the funnest. we have a fence now, so i can't run away into the front yard or the street when we are in the back. we had to get the fence for mommy. daddy can run and chase after me. mommy can't. she just yells and me to stop (rrriiiiiiiiiiiight....that works) and walks kind of fast.i don't know what is funner. watering plants or running away from mommy when she can't chase me.

well, as soon as the green light comes on, i get to see karen. i am sure she is an early riser, like me!

protest

2007-04-01T16:03:00.000-09:00

i would just like to say for the record that i am not a big fan of mom shouting to the world when i make comments about my boy parts. seriously. how many cute posts has she made about me referenceing my elbow? some day someone is going to google my name when i am applying for a job and i don't need this. these are private moments and i never signed up to be on a reality show for the world to snicker at. hey mom, did you tell everyone how i pretended to listen to your heart because i was being a doctor? no? why? because it didn't involve my bits? god mom, sometimes you are so sophomoric. so there.

from donovan and from mommy

2007-03-30T15:57:00.000-09:00

last week we went to a carnival. wow. i admit, it took me a while to catch on to things. i was a little afraid at first, but then i really got into it. i rode on a train, which i loved, and i rode on a truck ride which i loved. i went on a different ride with my mom and neither of us liked it. then i played a ducky game and won a prize. a whistle!!!!!!!!! i play it so well, too. then it got dark and the lights came on in the carnival and it was really cool. the lady on the truck ride said she had a god-son who had my name and had blonde hair so let's just say, without giving away too much information, that i didn't have to get off every time the ride stopped. i think you get the idea. don't tell anyone. i still have my whistle. and i ate fried dough, which was very yummy. that's it.

dear donovan,

i am glad you liked the carnival. we had fun taking you. you know i love you, right? i don't wnat to embarass you or make you feel bad, but there is something i have to put here. maybe a few things. hopefully it won't prevent you from getting a job someday, but well, i just can't keep it to myself anymore.

dear everyone,

donovan has recently discovered the fun that is his.....well....last night in the bath, he was playing with his, um, you know....stuff. then he pulled on his widdle testicles and said "does my penis have wings?"

while admiring a ninja motorcycle in a resturant parking lot: "you know what? actually motorcycles DO have pedals"

while stabbing me with a key: "i am a nurse. i am giving you a shot"

there ya have it

overheard....(by mom)

2007-03-19T16:19:00.000-09:00

"forty years ago, when i was in califonia....i was in mommy's tummy and i got borned"

"my big ol' penis gots pee pee coming out of it"

(after singing a new song..a very surprised look on his face) "OH! idon't know anything about that song!"

(both donovan and daddy had been sick recently) "i am a doctor. i bang on the door and i say 'hello!' and i say 'come in' and i have a tithusoap (aka stethoscope) and i make you feel better"

mommy is a nurse. nurses give people shots.

donovan has also entered The Question Asking Phase, which i understand will last a loooong time. often he asks questions he knows the answers to "is this train blue?" "does this helicopter have a propeller?" but often, he really wants to know the answer. and so do i.

what do dolphins and fish drink? can dolphins and fish walk? what do i do if _______ bites me at school?

this from a child who will be 2 1/2 tomorrow (also our 2 year anniversary living in nc)

ab thick

2007-03-12T14:26:00.000-09:00

i have 2 ear infections and strep throat. whaddya think of that?

some pictures

2007-03-08T16:13:00.000-10:00

these aren't the most recent pictures. i guess i must not be as cute as i used to be because the Big People don't take as many pictures as they used to when i was a young'n. thank god for auntie karen. and a good shave.

quotable quotes volume one

2007-03-04T16:19:00.000-10:00

recently heard by others, spoken by me (not quite 2 1/2)

tigger has a tail. daddy doesn't have a tail. mommy doesn't have a tail. donovan doesn't have a tail. people don't have tails. people have butts.

i don't have a life of my own.

if lightening hits a tree, then there will be fire.

when i eat food it goes in my belly and i can't see it.

the sun doesn't turn around the earth. the earth turns around the sun. what's the earth?

obviously this dinner is yummy.

mommy mommy mommy mommy, pinching her lips. mommy mommy mommy. stop talking.

(mommy:) "donovan, guess what!" donovan turns to mother with a bored, knowing look, "you love me a lot" yeah, ma. i've heard that one before.

lately, after a time out or similar punishment for naughtly behavior, it is i rather than the parents who is the first to say "i still love you, no matter what"

good times

2007-03-01T16:18:00.000-10:00

just thought of a couple things real quick. mom and dad have decided that everything they want me to do i have to choose between "the easy way" and "the hard way". like, with brushing my teeth. they say i can choose the easy way or the hard way. sometimes i choose the hard way, just for shits and giggles. but i tell them ahead if time "hard way" so they know. i like to keep them on their toes.

also. this is what i want to know. what happens when the parents get to three? you know, "you better get in that car seat before i count to three! ONE! TWO!! " all i know is that they have made it abundantly clear that i should never let them get to three.

being 2 is freakin AWESOME.

green lites and boobies

2007-03-01T16:04:00.000-10:00

i have really not been keeping up with this blog, have it? you know what my parents did? i haven't decided if i like it or not, but apparently, that doesn't really matter. they took the regular light bulb out of one of my lamps and put in a green bulb. then they plugged it into something they call a "timer." then they told me i had to stay in my room until the green light goes on, because, you know, green light means go. i like to get up early, go into mommy and daddy's room, turn on their light--one of my newer talents-- and tell them "okay let's go! time to get up" i do wake up before my whole room turns green, but now i have to wait in my room for it. yeah, we'll see. it's working out pretty well for all of us so far.

i can count to 15, with the addition of "eleventeen"

i am getting better at going peepee in the potty, but i still only sit on the potty at night before my bath.

mommy is trying very hard to get me to stop playing with her boobies, but come on man, they were mine for so long, i don't know why she thinks she can suddenly just take them back. she tells me to play with my own boobies, but not only is that not really fun; it's also kind of creepy.

a little catch up post

2007-02-03T08:20:00.000-10:00

well, it certainly has been too long isn't it? christmas (or KISSmas as we like to say in my family) is long gone.....i have done and experienced some amazing wonderful things.......now how the hell am i going to remember it all.......

i got every toy ever created for kissmas. thomas trains....tracks.....dvds...an elmo doll that can move as much as a person...a sit and spin...clothes....just everything. it was really freakin fun.

auntie karen and jim came for a visit and they brought more presents. karen brings very cool presents and i really like her alot. i wish they didn't leave. we went out to eat ribs, which i loved. mommy calls them dinosaur bones. she has a lot of strange names for regular food. it is all to try to get me to eat it. it usually works. who wouldn't eat vampire chili? or gobble gobble stew? you just can't pass up, i'm telling ya.

me and daddy went on a trip without mommy. we went to florida to see gramma and papa, auntie kendra and my cousins. it was fun. and you could hardly tell mommy wan't there because she called on the phone often. really really really often. i had a great time with daddy. we went to the beach and did all kinds of fun stuff.

mommy wants me to post some of the more clever things i say, but as a fluent talker, really, there just isn't any point. i am clever. i say clever things. big whoop. they have been telling me since one i was a genius. yet they remain surprised each time i say something smart.

i am really into singing these days and i am very good at it. i am also into 2 movies. i mean BIG time. "cars" and "toy story." i have the "toy story" book and i have 2 pages (at least) that i have completely memorized and recite often, including "woody scoffed" and "buzz said smugly" i have 2 potty books and one i have completely memorized so that when we sit on the potty, i can recite the right things on the right pages so that it truly looks like i am reading it. i am still really into my trains also. i go pee pee in the potty almost every day, before my bath. mommy and daddy say it isn't time for me to get potty trained yet, they just let me do it for fun at night. of course, last night i peed on my train tracks and crapped in the tub, which i guess is not what they want me to do, but don't tell anyone, okay?

i hardly ever use a sippy cup any more, my crib has been taken apart and put upstairs and i can open almost every door in the house. i can also move furniture (like chairs and toy boxes) to high places i want to go so i can reach the things i want that mommy doesn't want me to have like medicine, and steak knives. mostly i am trying to get at my vitamines, but you know, i'll take what i can get. i can also fake burp and fake snore. today i am getting my second hair cut and i got a new pair of shoes. there were a total of 3 pair of shoes i could choose from in the whole stride rite beause of my big ol' feet. one was ugly, the other one tied and it didn't really matter what the last pair looked like because those were my only choices! well, i will try to post more often, because i have really left out a lot of suer duper cool stuff.

christmas came early for the big d!

2006-12-23T14:10:00.000-10:00

christmas is a fun time. i got lots of presents so far and mommy and daddy said it isn't even christmas yet. i got a cool sleeping bag from unkiah and aunt sherri and thomas the train underpants from tiff and jason and a bunch of money, but i don't understand that. it just gets hung up on the fridge under a magnet. oh, and santa visited us early. you can't even believe what santa brought me! are you ready?! you are never going to believe this----yo i got a BIG BOY BED!!!!!!!!!! with a thomas blanket. there is a dresser and a night stand and a stool to get in and out. i don't know how santa got it in the house. i was so excited about it....i couldn't sleep. so, last night there were a lot of tears. mommy and dad left the crib in my room and kept saying "it's okay to sleep in your crib if you want---you get to sleep wherever you want" so i told them i wanted to sleep in the hall. i guess they meant ALMOST anywhere i wanted. oh, i couldn't sleep im mommydaddy's bed either. so the choice was the big boy bed or the crib. i wanted to sleep in that bed so bad. so, after a good healthy round of tears, i finally fell asleep in the big boy bed. and the coolest part was when i woke up this morning...i just got out and went to mommydaddy's room and got mommy up. ALL BY MYSELF. yessirybob. i was unable to sleep in my big boy bed for my nap today, but i am shooting for sleeping there tonight. i don't know why i have the crib and the bed in there. and i don't know why the big people tell me i an sleep in my crib if i want. they are weird. maybe santa didn't ask them before he brought it in and they really want to keep me in the crib. this is so pansy toddler bed, folks, this is an honest to god big boy bed. oh yeah. how can christmas get better?

we had a dress rehearsal for the christmas pageant today. i don't even want to talk about it.

mommy is a camel.

2006-12-14T16:16:00.000-10:00

so. christmas is coming. this is a little exciting to me because, well, i don't exactly know what it is. i know i am going to get a very cool thing called "coal" because my parents have told me this several times. i don't know what coal is, but i am pretty psyched to find out. it's got to be a cool thing, right? my parents have put up a christmas tree. i thought it was cool when they first put it up because, well, there was a tree in the house. then one day, i woke up and ther were beautiful lights and ornaments on it. i asked if santa brought them and mommy said yes. me and my parents have a difference of opinion, however in how one treats a christmas tree. i think it is big fun to pull off ornaments and drag off garland while the parents feel pretty strongly that one should leave them alone. it's not that i want to be naughty (heh heh, no really, i DON'T) but come ON i'm 2! what do you expect. i notice after breaking several ornaments that each day, it seems less and less of the tree is decorated. in fact, it is almost only decorated on the top half. it's okay. i have a higher reach than mommy and daddy realize.

so, these days i am super duper into trains. i heard mommy saying it is going to be a "thomas christmas" and i don't quite know what that means either. but i am not stupid. i know thomas is a train. i also really like penguins and beautiful things. i think a lot of things are beautiful. the other day i took a beautiful nap. i have a beautiful cat, mommy is beautiful and the day is beautiful. i like to say "it's a beautiful day outside today" because when i do, mommy gets all weird and it cracks me up.

yesterday i went and saw santa. i mean, i really saw SANTA. the real deal, man, not a picture. the real guy. yup. at the mall. i have asked daddy to scan the picture so i can post it here to prove that i really saw him. a lot of the kids were in cute red sweaters and fancy hairdos, but i was in my yellow shirt and brown cords. i am not sure my shirt was clean. however, alot of those kids who's mommies dressed them up to see the big guy cried like wussies and never got the picture. me, i just ran up to santa, sat on his lap and told him i was behaving and that i wanted a blue train. i am so badass.

i am also very excited because my auntie karen is coming to visit soon. (my crazy best friend who wants to put me in dresses. yes. i said crazy. accept it auntie. embrace it) well, okay, truth be told....even tho i love her so much, i don't have real real real clear memories of her....but mommy is so excited, so it is making me excited. i know she is the coolest person ever. i can't wait to see her. it's going to be very cool. i am going to have her give me juice and cookies and wine.

also, i am going to be a king in a church xmas pageant. mommy is going to be a camel. god i hope someone takes pictures.

one more funny story before i go. the other day i was taking a bath and i wrapped myself up in the shower curtain and i said "i am in a elevator" and i went up and down and then i opened the doors and closed the doors. then i said, "i go peepee in the elevator" then i assumed the position and peed. it was so fun. what i loved most about it was that i said it and THEN i did it. i didn't do it and then say it. there is a profound difference. hopefully mommy hasn't caught on to that sublety yet because then it's going to be on the potty all the time. i would much rather pee in the tub. one of my favorite books, "green eggs and ham" has sam-i-am sitting in the potty, reading a newspaper. i told mommy, "sam-i-am is on the potty, trying to go peepee. or maybe poops" mommy thinksi am very smart.

well, okay then. bed time.

PS don't try to tell me the guys name isn't sam-i-am. they can both be sam-i-am.

i have a lot to say

2006-11-28T11:44:00.000-10:00

however, it feels imperative to document that at this moment, right now i have discovered the new funnest thing ever. presently it involves ducky crackers (like goldfish) but i suspect we will branch out to other things. in fact, mommy is looking away so she doesn't encourage me by laughing. what is this new hobby, you ask?! STICKING THINGS UP MY NOSE! YAY!!!!!!! i will post the less significant things soon. fun fun fun

first haircut

2006-11-11T08:57:00.000-10:00

well, my genius parents didn't get any good halloween pictures of my adorable self as a scarecrow, but today i got my very first ever haircut. daddy insisted. mommy didn't want to do it.

this picture is me in the kitchen. dada calls it my trailer park picture. i can see why

here are my beutiful wonderful curls....

say goodbye cornsilk curls

this is easy

eeeu why would she save it???

oh yeah. i am hot

soon.....FART JOKES

2006-11-06T14:00:00.000-10:00

i realized the other day i completely forgot to cover halloween. and i will. soon. but first i have to tell you how clever i am. the teacher told mommy that i was one of the brightest kids in the class. pretty freaking impressive when you consider that it is a class of 2 year olds--many close to 3 and some un-potty trained 3 year olds.anyways, she thinks i am smart because i know my colors and talk clearly and know what an octopus is. big whoop. i'll tell ya why i'm so smart.

there is a song i like called cows, right? and there is the line "cows....we're remarkable cows..." it's a great song. so, a little while ago i sang (get this. oh i wish you knew the tune) "poop....we're remarkable poopie...." oh my god i slay me! do people say that? yup. genius.

a post just to have a post

2006-11-03T08:05:00.000-10:00

sure has been a while since i've posted. i was looking over some of my old posts. i guess i blew the potty thing out of proportion. not a whole lot of interest in it. i mean, it's fun to sit in it and get a reaction from mommy when i stick my hand in the potty water, which for some reason she hates. but otherwise.....eehh, potty shmotty. who has time?

meanwhile, i am getting cuter and more adorable and of course, smarter, by the minute. especially since now i am a Big Boy and not a baby. here are some things i enjoy: singing. i love to sing and i know the words to many many songs. of course, i still love my balls. my 2 favorite things, and have been for a while, are still going out side, number 1 and playing with my trains. and i have been pretty into building houses with my blocks lately too. but outside and trains are where it's at man. oh i still love the old backhoes too. i have become a pickier eater and really enjoy throwing my food. it's all about the reaction i get from the big people. i mean, why else would i throw perfectly good food that i like? dad's reaction is usually funner than mom's. a lot of time mom takes me out of my seat, makes me pick up what i threw and puts me back in my seat. dad, on the other hand gets all flustered and mad. love it.

they have a punishment that has lost its ooomph quicker than The Wall, and that is The Gate. i get the gate for hitting, biting and pinching. i don't like it but it's not that bad. so i cry a bit to make them think i am upset then after my 2 minutes is up they pick me up and kiss me and i tell them i am sorry and then sometimes i stop and sometimes we play the bite-gate-sorry game over and over. altho NOW i see that they are starting to take away a toy and THAT i DO NOT like.
i
so my friend miss michelle came to visit me from new york and i really liked her. i asked for her for several days after she left. i hope she comes back to visit. and another one of mommy's best friends might come at the holidays, and she is excited about that. even i remember crazy auntie karen!!!!!!! well, i have to go because i just do. don't make me lose character and be mommy.

it was NOT an accident

2006-10-05T14:06:00.000-09:00

so, i asked mommy to sing my favorite song, "bumble bee" (as in "bringing home my baby....") and mommy said, "i will sing it if you sit on the potty" which is strange, because she never asked me to do that before. so, there we were...i think it was during, "i'm smushing up my baby bumble bee" and i went pee pee in the potty!! of course, i did it on purpose. i knew what i was doing the whole time. in fact, i asked her to sing "bumblebee" because i HAD to take a leak. so, you see, it is really no big deal. mommy and daddy were hugging me and clapping me and mommy screached a lot, which was pretty embarrasing because all the windows are open. thanks mom. now the whole neighborhood knows i went to see a man about a horse. what am i going to do with her? well, i love her. she's a good egg overall.

so, that is my big news of the day. AND i got --not one-- but 2 fugciscles out of the deal. how cool is that?????? then i tried to tell mom i didn't want to put any diapers back on, but she strongly disagreed.

i am liking going to lisa's house. mom and dad keep telling me that it is my new school, but i like calling it lisa's house. i have one teacher, lisa and my main teacher is felicia. there are a lot of classrooms at lisa's house. and a new playground.

and mommy comes home very happy every day now that she has a new job. i like it when she is happy. i like it when she comes home and i am not ready for bed already. we get to have dinner together.

everything is good. except i hear i have to be a chicken again for halloween if the costume still fits. a good egg she is, but lazy. i wanted to be strawberry shortcake.

september wasn't BAD, just stressful

2006-09-30T17:13:00.000-09:00

wow. it had been a loooong time since i've posted anything. it's a big old bummer, too because this has been a busy, eventful month and to post now would surely leave out some of the best juicy details.

for one thing, i turned 2. yup. i am now all grown up. i even ask to drink from a big boy cup sometimes. this is a cup that doesn't have a spout and lid on the top. i had a party at jungle rapids and i got a lot of very cool presents. i liked the party well enough but it kind of stressed me out because there were a bunch of people i knew, but none of them from jungle rapids, so i didn't know what to expect. my baby sitter was there and i thought mamma and dada were going to leave me. then there was a kid from school....but i wasn't in school....and some kids from church but we weren't in church. and my grandparents were there and who the hell knows WHERE they came from. they just showed up. i don't know. it was very confusing. and all the other kids wanted to play with MY balloon and it was MY balloon and i just didn't want to share it. and even the presents were a bit overwhelming. see, the problem was, all the gifts i got were super-duper cool. so, i would open one, get all excited and want to play with it and then have to open a different one. but then THAT one would be really cool and i would want to play with that and i don't know, it was very tiring. the only thing that was not overwhelming or hard to understand was the cake. i love cake. i love birthday cake. my cake had a train on it and i loved it. don't tell my mom that the party was kind of tough on me because i over heard her saying "i think he really enjoyed it, don't you?" and well, look, i am just a bit young for that kind of excitement i think. so just keep it between us, okay?

and i guess september was treat-your-kid-like-a-trained-monkey month. we went to new york, and i will talk about the plane later. but we saw nona and poppy and uncle dave and uncle dan and aunt sonnie and uncle tom and uncle elliott and aunt sherri. we stayed at uncle dave's houlse. i like that uncle dave. he didn't make me show off. so first of all we spent waaaaaaaaay to much time in the car. i coudn't take naps unless i fell asleep in the car and that messed me up. at home i have very specific nap times and nap routines and just like my daddy, i like my routines!!!! there was just so much driving around. and then, mamma and dada were making me do and say things to the people we visited. "look what he can do? isn't he smart? look what he can say, that's our little genius!" on and on and on. go give this one a kiss, that one a kiss. lookit---do YOU go around kissing people you hardly know? yeah, how do i know these people won't hug me and then run away with me away from my mommy? how do i know they don't have cooties? i mean, come ON. i was forced to kiss and hug people all freaking weak. and that was just people i am apparently related to. they weren't even mom's friends because we didn't get a chance to see any of them. i will admit, i really liked spending time with these relative-type people, but the showing off and the kissing and the driving (oh god the driving!) was just a bit much.

then, the minute we got back from new york, my grandparents came to visit. i remembered them from before. my gramma wears pretty earrings and my papa will read me the same story over and over again. so they are okay in my book. except, when i was sent to The Wall, they didn't rescue me. i don't know about that. i was reading over the How To Be A 2 Year Old manual (which i have memorized because i am a genius) and there was a chapter on grandparents always giving you your way and extra cookies and stuff. so, i don't know about that. but they are good to have around anyways.

i went on an airplane. i got to preboard. i behaved very well--perfectly and it was one of the greatest experiences of my life. i love flying in a plane a lot. not as much as trains or backhoes, but more than riding in a car. i loved it so much. the same amount, no maybemore than riding on the bike. i want to fly in a big airplane every day. mommy does NOT like flying. but, we all know she is a strange one.

and i started a new school. i like it quite a bit. they serve their own food there, which bothers mommy, but they have a cool class room and i like the teachers and we go outside, which is my favorite thing more than airplanes. maybe not trains. i like taking my train out side. mommy is bothered by the menu they serve (someone PLEASE tell her i really don't like tofu and i DO like chicken nuggets) because it isn't as HEALTHY as what she makes. i don't know. they serve do nuts and ice cream. they do not serve anything with tofu in it. and there is no organic there either. i am not sure what organic is, but i know mommy makes me eat it a lot.

i will save my latest skills and talents for another post because this one is getting too long. we have been listening quite a bit to "dog train" which is our (mine and mamma and dada's) favorite cd. my favorite sons are "no no no" and "don't give me that broccolli" i sing that song whenever i eat broccolli, but i actually love broccolli. it is one of my favorite foods. too bad they dont' serve it at school. yeah, it really breaks my heart. i think mom tries to sneak some broccolli in my eggs one day because she was afraid i wouldn't get enough vegetables at That School.

i saw miss hattie, my teacher from my other school (my last day was thursday and now it's saturday) at sears today. she was trying to love on me and everything, but i ignored her. why? because how do i know she didn't have something to do with making me go to a new school? i love her and now she isn't my teacher any more so it is best if we just not pretend to be be friends, you know?

well, i am a LOT smarter now that i am 2 and can do a lot of things, but i should really save it for another post. i can jump with BOTH feet off the ground. my doctor said i have the verbal skills of a 3 year old. i can sing about 3845 songs. i told you i read the whole 2 year old manual, right? oh yeah! meltdown city, baby! i got it down PAT. the throwing things, the loud crying, the insanely embarassing (well, embarassing to someone!) behavior in public. poking, hitting, biting. i can do it all. oh yes. the glory of being 2. i shall embrace it. i shall be it. all of it. it's all mine anyways. all of it. anything i want. mine. if you have it and i want it: mine. yup. hahahahahahahahahaha i love my life.

one last thing: mommy got a new job and she loves it very much but she goes to work every day. but she is happier when she gets home and has less cooties and other people's poo on her.

yay dada!

2006-09-08T04:54:00.000-09:00

so guess what! DA-DA's HOME!!!!!!!!!!!! finally!!!!!! we picked him up from his airplane business trip on saturday. (that was like a year, i think) i was so excited, i couldn't sleep at all. i was sitting in mama-dada bed and kept going "hi dada. hello dada" i was so happy to see him. we have been having fun since he got home.

i hear mama and dada talking about sending me to a new school. i am not sure i like that, so i will just ignore them and keep going to my same school.

mama and dada are quizzing me a lot. that is, they are talking to each other in letters. i think they are trying to help me learn to spell. for example, one of them said to the other, "we have to write out the invitations to j-u-n-g-l-e-r-a-p-i-d-s for his birthday party" what the hell is that??? i don't really like it, because i would rather get my learnin' from school, but you can't tell those people anything. maybe they are just jealous because i can sing b-i-n-g-o.

mama said i am going on an airplane in a few days. i think a few days is the same as a year, so i am not going to worry about it. besides, it doesn't make sense. i don't have a job, so there are no business trips for little kids, which is what you do on a plane. also, she said we are going to see "nona and poppy" but they are in the phone, so it just makes no sense. i know they are in the phone because, HELLO, that's where i talk to them.

mama can be pretty exasperating at times, as you can tell. i just didn't realize dada would be that way too. he's not as bad, but they both pretty much drive me nuts. so, thanks for reading. more later big people, time to wave bye-bye!

the sounds of myoooozik

2006-08-29T16:16:00.000-09:00

songs i can sing that other people can recognize them for what they are: all versons of "WHEELS ON THE BUS", "bringing home my babby bumble bee", "b-i-n-g-o anf bingo was his name o" and then i made up a song. can 23 month old babies make up songs? i did. wanna hear it? it goes like this (in b flat major, allegro) "sing some songs sing some songs read a book, read a book" it has a catchy tune.

what are you, a comedian? why yes, yes i am.

2006-08-25T12:42:00.000-09:00

so, mommy made something called "chicken and parmedean ravioli" for dinner, but SHE called it "ravioli pillows". so, i made her laugh when i put the ravioli on my cheek and said "night night" she didn't understand at first, so i had to do it again and said "time for night night on the pillow". i slay me sometimes. i am just so freakin witty, i can't even get over myself.

mommy post

2006-08-15T17:00:00.000-09:00

so, the little angel is asleep in his crib. no pj's (a potientially large mistake), spread out face down with his arms stretched out. exhausted, the poor dear. but wait, don't get too close or you will smell the faint smell of.....puke.

it's been a rough one. pickd him up from day care extra early yesterday because i was really missing him since i didn't really see him all weekend. well, he was cranky and whiney and just, well, lets say i was reconsidering the merit of my earlier decision to pick him up early. i thought he was being a turd because i messed up his routine---he LOVES his routine. he was just difficult all night. even on the phone with the grandparents i mentioned he was being difficult today.

it's distressing because in genreal, he is not a difficult child. he is getting into the whole "two's thing" and he is certainly more difficult than he USED to be, there are sure moments, but in general he is a sweet good kid. on the rare occasions he gets like this, i immediately think "oooh this is the new donovan. it must be a developmental thing. oh no, we are stuck with this monster of a kid forever" however, 100% of the time when he acts unrecognizable icky, he is sick!

it took me a while to get to that. he didn['t sleep last night. but, there was no fever, no complaints of booboos, really no indication besides crying and whining (and crying without tears which i take less seriously, until i worry about dehydration).. tossed and turned and whined all night.

then the non stop crying for hours. well, i was supposed to have my 3rd interview at zimmer today (yes, third---whateve---this is donovan's blog, i won't go there here). i had decided something is not only wrong, but VERY wrong and i had to take him to the doctor immediately. let's see, i had diagnosed him with acute kidney failure (i couldn't remember the last peepee diaper and there were no tears in his crying) then i was sure he had that plum pit stuck in him and he would need a temporary colostomy to repair the damage it was going to his intestines. then i considered some rare musculo-sketelal disorders, i am not sure what my rational was there. but he was crying and it was an emergency.

fortunately, these pediatricians we have just walk on water as far as i'm concerned. they are excellent with the kid, amazing at dealing with crazy moms while making her feel that she did the absolute right thing by bringing him in (even tho once, it was several mosquito bits and not the allergic hives reaction i swore it was). actually, the doc also seemed concerned. she was even talking about getting a ct of his abdomen and stuff. i don't know why she did a throat culture since he has had no fever and she said his throat wasn't even red. well, she comes back a few minutes later saying he had a raging strep infection and is probably feeling terrible. a shot of pennicilin later, we are in the grocery store buying popsicles, which he loved. he barfed 4 or 5 times which i guess is normal for little kids and babies with strep. he did barf on the doctor, but she stuck a q-tip down his throat so what do youexpect.

more tomorrow. gotta go to work and i am sleepy.

oh the reason for the no pj's and the puke smell is that he fell asleep at 5:30 and his bed time routine doesn't even start till 8. so, even tho he isn't convered in puke, the is a reminiscence. and he happened to had just had a diaper change before crashing so he had no clothes on. i didn't have the heart to wake him up, hopefully, since my ultra-regimented son sleeps 9 hours a night, he won't wake up at 1:30 ready for the day. oh god help me.

a rather eventful day (said in the voice of pooh)

2006-08-11T14:30:00.000-09:00

hey--guess what! i got a potty!!!!!!! MY VERY OWN POTTY!!!!!!! i can't believe how excited i am! i kept going in the bathroom and sitting on it. most of the time i had my diaper on, but sometimes it was off. mommy says i should just have fun sitting on it. i did pee on it once. not in it, on it. but it IS my first day. momma kept the bathroom door open so i could go it whenever i wanted. then, at bed time, she closed the door and i was whining and pushing the door open telling her i wanted to sit on donovan's little potty but she said "tomorrow" oh man, i just can't believe i have my own potty.

and tonight, in the bath, mommy decided i should start learning to drink from a big boy cup so she decided the best place would be in the bath tub. now, i really love to drink bath water. look, don't knock it till you try it, okay? there is the added bonus of it bugging the crap out of mom. but mommy made me something called camomille tea and said i could practice drinking in the tub. it was pretty good, but then i realized it was MORE fun to dump the tea into the water and then....drink the bath water! mommy said she hadn't decided whether this experiment was a success or a failure, because when i drank from the cup, i did very well and spilled little--tea OR bath water.

oh yeah....i made mommy completely fuh-REAK out today. she gave me a plum and then she couldn't find the pit, which she usually snags from me pretty early on and i told her "yes" when she asked if i swallowed it. (i say "yes" to many questions i don't understand so i don't look dumb) so she called the hospital to see if i was going to be okay, because they have pointy edges that can cut my intestines (yeah, i have no idea what i am saying here, just repeating what the crazy old lady was saying) and she said she was SURE i was going to need emergency surgery because she didn't think i could pass the pit without harming my insides. while she was waiting for the nurse to call back she found the pit. she said she is going to keep it as a reminder to be more careful.

fortunately, the pit-lady has to work this weekend. it has been 2 weeks since i have seen my fiance, tiffani, but she will be spending the weekend with me while i have the house to myself. just don't tell megan. i can't help it if i'm a playah, yo---the ladies love me!

daddy is coming home soon!

PS: we got a new kitchen table and kitchen chairs and mommy wouldn't let either of us touch it. she was saying something like "something in this damn house is going to stay clean for one day" i'm not sure but i think "damn" is one of those words, like "foul ass" that if i say, it gets a big reaction from mommy. i was just agreeing with mom while she was changing my diaper. mommy swears (um, yeah) she is trying to watch her mouth. she's trying, i know she is. it's cute, really.

auntie karen's going to a tofu festival.

2006-08-10T04:40:00.000-09:00

i won't even address the title. what needs to be said? mamma puts it in my mac and cheese like i don't know.

so, these days, i want to sleep with the light on. i'm not afraid of the dark---i'm not afraid of anything (well, maybe when the vacuum gets turned on, fortunately, that rarely happens), i just want the light on. just because i do. don't go saying i'm afraid of the dark either. i just like to keep an eye on things when i wake up at night. make sure my stuff is still in the same place. i have everything where i want it. books in a pile, bath towel on the floor. i like it that way. i have conceded to wearing my pajama shirt. that was a phase.

my vocabulary as well as my ability to create complex sentences out of complex thoughts continues to grow and astound mamma (and everyone around me) and for the second time, i actually answered a question 2 days ago. i mean, with an answer, not a yes or no like i have been to do for years. i was crying, my babysitter who is really my teacher, had just left and mamma said, "what's wrong??? why are you crying??" and i said "miss megan go bye bye" i mean, i am still planning on marrying tiffani, but that megan has some mad book reading skills and i was really enjoying it and didn't want her to leave. besides, i was pretty mad at mom. every so often these days she drops me off at school before they open (i mean, we have to wait around for someone to come unlock the door), then, i stay there even after all the other kids are gone, and my teacher, who closes the school, takes me to my house in her car. then i hang out with her and she gives me my bath and all that till mamma gets home. it's hard because i am glad she came home--i keep thinking she might never come back. but then i am so mad at her. but i don't let her know i am glad she is home. i don't look at her, or talk to her, i just instruct megan to continue reading my book. i figured out that was why mamma was putting me in day time clothes sometimes at night. because she just takes me out of my crib and puts me in the car seat before i even know what hit me. i love school and i am learning a lot (i can pick out ANYTHING blue and i know a few letters and i can sing "wheels on the bus" a song mamma didn't even know) but i think that for a child my age, that is too long to be at school. i have said before that mamma does things that aren't good, and so far my pleas for help have been ignored. i mean, isn't there someone who can give HER a time out at the Wall for being naughty? where is HER mommy? i think HER mommy should give her The Wall for making me stay at school so long, staying away from ME so long, not letting me go outside when i tell her i want to. and don't even get me started on dada. i will make mamma give HIM the Wall when he gets back for staying away so long.

well, i forgot what i was going to write about. this wasn't it. so, thanks for stopping by and reading this.

PS mommy said she is going to buy me a potty

aah fantasies

2006-08-07T16:24:00.000-09:00

mommy is worried about me. she said she needs to find a book about people my age, because she doesn't know what to make of me. am i crazy (a distinct possibility considering my parents) a genius (also a possibility) or just a drama queen (not sure where that would come from)

now, mommy is always worried about me so i can't worry about mommy's wory of the moment. i have bveen complaining of a lot of specific boo boos lately. today in the bath i said i had a tummy ache. see, mom hasn't taught me that word and i don't hear her using it to describe herself, so she's all freaking out about do i really have a tummy ache and made me show her where i thought my ache was (um, i pointed to my tummy). then she started bitchin about not drinking the bath water because that won't help the tummy ache. but it did, mom. it helped. it was exactly what i needed. you drink tea sometimes. my infusion was warm steeped lavender soap with pee pee essence. i love it, it's my favorite. that is why i am always sucking the washclothes.

then there was a block on thr floor and mommy asked me to put it away and there was an "H" on the side facing up, so i said "aych" and mama was like "huh!!!!" say that again, what is thaT? who told you that ? oooooh. i remembered the "H" i didn't know any other letters she flung at me after saying one right. she is so freaking weird. she got all weird when the timer when off on the microwave and i said "ok to open microwave" and she was like "hey, i never taught you that word! you are a genius! "oh and on and on she went. ahe ahould be smart enought to know that i LISTEN to everything. i spit things back that i remember when appropriate. now, i might be a genius indeed. however, i just don't think these little tricks qualify.
mamma repeated the trick she did several days ago: packing lots of food and dressing me in comfy day clothes to put me to bed. well, here we go again. only this time i know what's up. she is going to take me fully dfressed, befoere i wake up into the cvar and bring me to school where i get to spend 12 hours and 15 minutes there. then my teacher, ms. megan (mmmmmmmmmmm ms. megan.)

oh sorry. i was just thinking about ms megan and forgot myself. anyways, i bring ms. megan back to my place after school and we have a little dinner, a little whine, nice bubble bath.....then it's off to bed. oh yeah. i mean, after i put away my books and brush my teeth. shut up. i am NOT too young to think like that. she rocks me to sleep and then i see her again the next day. hopefully momomy comes home before i am asleep.

i DON'T have a problem.

2006-08-02T15:53:00.000-09:00

so for the last 2 nights whilst getting PJ's on, i have insisted on not wearing a top. i don't know how other 22 month old kids communicate, but i made my point loud. and. clear. no shirt. shorts. socks, if you insist (mom thinks because HER feet are always cold then mine must be, too, so it's socks at the oddest time). no shirt.

mom said she was putting on PJ's but i noticed that they weren't really PJ's, they were more like sweat shorts and a t shirt (as you know, the t shirt stayed off). i didn't completely understand why she would dress me in day time clothes when she just bought me a bunch of new PJ's. hmmmmm. i am suspicious, she also packed 2 days worth of breakfasts, lunches, several snacks and dinners. something is definitely up.

i like drugs. yeah. it's true. i do. look, don't knock it till you have tried any brand of children's motrin, okay? i saw mom chugging out of the children's benedryl once--she won't let me have that, but i have a connection and i am gonna get hooked up, man. till then, it's motrin. i have it figured out, too. last night she gave me motrin because she said i felt "warm". well, tonight, in the bath, i pulled my hair and said i had a booboo in my hair and i needed medicine. i really said that. (it sounded like "oooow, gah boo boo in da hah. need meh-sin?) mamma was like, "well um, don't pull your hair, goof ball" so, then i pulled out my ace in the hole. i started tugging on my ear and said "gah boo boo in da eeeah" since i am prone to ear infections, i know homegirl doesn't mess around with ear stuff. yup. got my motrin. suckah!

last night, when i wanted MORE motrin, after i got the first dose, i said i had a boo boo in the eye. mom said i was full of balony and just wanted more medicine and medicine was serious stuff, not dessert. so, i didn't get more. then, when i got to school today, one of my teachers said "what is wrong with his eye? look, it looks like he has a little bit of a black eye?"

i am almost 2 years old. i have been around the block--holding mom's hand, but still, it counts. i know how to man-ip-u-late a situation, especially when it comes to the old lady's guilt. that eye boo boo should be good for a few doses. unless she reads this and is on to me. i also said i had a back boo boo yesterday which freaked mom out a little because she thought it was odd that i would actually put my hand on my back and day "oooh, got a boo boo on the back"

i can stop the motrin whenever i want.

PS: tiffani combed my hair the other day so now mom started combing my hair, all parted on the side and i think i look like that booger-eating kid on the simpson's. this will not be tolerated.

i can articulate all kinds of feelings. mmmm feelings

2006-07-27T17:34:00.000-09:00

woke up at 4am. wouldn't stop crying. as you may know, i don't cry very much at all, so it is distressing to mom and me when i do. even when she held me i didn't stop crying. sometimes i don't know how to say what is wrong with me. i am pretty good at saying if i have a booboo or if i want something, but sometimes i have things i can't say. finally, i stopped crying and became happy when mom turned on the light. mommy thinks i have suddenly become afraid of the dark. she asked ms. hattie, one of my teachers, if she thought that was the case. ms. hattie said "is his dad still gone" which he is and she said, "well, get a night light and give him a picture of his dad and see what happens. so, mamma left on the hall light and kept my door open and she printed out 4 pictures of dada, and put them in a binder for me. i have been very fussy in general the last 2 days. i am crying and whining a lot and being naughty. i don't know why. i am not feeling very good lately in some way. but i don't know in what way. i don't like it and neither does mommy.

this wasn't a very clever or funny entry. but sometimes i have serious business on my mind. mom said she thinks i get upset because i don't know how to ar-TIC-you-late my feelings. but, i don't think that is true, because sometimes i like to feel, well, never mind, i better quit while i am ahead.

mommy post

2006-07-26T14:31:00.000-09:00

well, it's official. donovan is always bragging about his vocabulary and his ability to say new things. i knew there would come a day--and i knew it would be soon--when i had to start watching my mouth. you know. little pitchers and all that shit---ooops, i mean stuff. that day is today (dum DUM DUUUUUUUMMMMMM)

so today, he dumps over his bowl of cottage cheese. so i say (as per usual) "dammit donovan!" and clean it up. well, he decides that now is a good time to day dammit. over and over, of course. "dammit dammit dammit dammit" ha ha. then, when i was relaying the story to someone on the phone, he started jumping around saying "dammit dammit"

okay. so mommy gets to wash her mouth out.

then. well, this is kind of funny. he comes up to me and said "got poops" which is what he has been saying lately, which he may have told you makes me very happy because even though i am in no hurry to potty train per se, certainly recognizing caca in the pants is a good first step in the process. so, i looked down his drawers and saw no poop. so i said, "no poop. you must have just farted" so what do you think the big d says? "no poop. just fart" and let me tell you he said "fart" like a pro. he got that "efff" sound very clear and, unlike most little-kid words, the "r" sound was quite distinct as well. "fffaarrrrrt" so much of what he says is clear only in context or if you know him well. not this time. clear as a bell. no poop, just fart.

now i am not advocating in teaching the young ones to swear. i don't even want to imply that i think it is cute. we will certianly nip this. but, all firsts are worth mentioning and i am sorry---call cps for my thinking it's funny, but dammit---er--i mean, darn it all---it was funny.

take me to the mall, chomp

2006-07-25T16:03:00.000-09:00

so i got The Wall in public today. yeah. i hit mom while we were in the co op. she took me out of the cart, found an actual wall in the grocery store--by the milk--and made me stand there. we are pretty sure no one else noticed. i thought about screaming, but then thought the better of it. i also got The Wall twice for biting at home AND i wasn't allowed to have any blueberries AND i wasn't allowed to finish watching the brother bear movie mom rented for me. brother bear is one of my favorite books. i didn't know they made movies out of books. i would have liked to have seen it. did you ever think i might be teething, mom and i am having achies and painies? didja? huh?

today me and mom crosed paths in the kitchen and slightly bumped into our arms or something--no big geal, so i said "oh, sorry, my fault" mom thought that was cute--she had never heard me say that before, so i said "sorry, my fault" several times just to make up for making her mad at me for biting.

then i asked to go to the mall today. yes i did. and when she said no, i said, "Please please go mall" i don't see why it is strange that i wanted to go to the mall. i didn't really. i was just showing off my vocabulary. i saw the mall, so i asked to go.just showing off.

i have to work on this biting thing. i am starting to really really not like time out at The Wall.

oh the genius that i am. you will all bow to me someday. ooo-oooh-ooo-ah-AH-AAAH

2006-07-24T16:06:00.000-09:00

well....just got home from the trip to gramma and papa's. i was a very good boy on both ends of the trip, if i do say so myself. i mean, it took about 586 hours to get there and even longer to get back because mom had to stop at the outlets. oh, we didn't stay long. i made sure of that. mommy left the coach outlet in a big hurry (but i was only doing what dad told me to do in that store) altho, i admit it, i had fun carrying bags around. i could say "oooh, this is a big bag" or "oh, this is a little bag". the lady in the eddie bauer store did not seem to be amused with me or impressed with my cuteness the way most people are. she even suggested to mom (ha ha) that i should probably be in a stroller. mom made me apologise to the lady for being naughty. that seemed to help. oh, THIS was impressive to mom:

mom discovered that for SURE i know the color blue. she had a suspicion, but i made way too many references to blue things that were acutally blue. neither me nor mom know when kids are supposed to start recognizing colors, so we are just going with the "genius" theory. but that was actually a segueway. in the eddie bauer store, i floored mom AGAIN when we were in the dressing room and she was trying on some shirts. i said, "oh, a purple shirt" and indeed, she was trying on a purple shirt. i almost thought i was in trouble, because she was like "who taught you purple? how to do you know purple" and i wanted to be like, um, i mean, yellow, those are nice yellow, um PANTS, yeah. purple shirt? what purple shirt? but it turns out she was just surprised and happy at, you guessed it, my genius.

is anyone else concerned at the pressure this woman might inadvertently be putting on me by convincing me that i am a genius? i mean, somehow that is going to come back to haunt all of us. and if i don't get a brother or sister, then i am going to have to be the genius AND the athlete AND etc. we are going to have to talk to mom about doing something about this.

anyways, back to my genius. more things mom discovered i could do and say over the weekend.

~~say gramma and grand pop. only for me, it is binna (accent on the BIN) and papa. those old folks are AWESOME. they read me stories--lots of them---played with me---showed me golf balls and dominoes and gave me lots of hugs. i can't wait to see them again.

~~say "this" as in, "open this" "move this" "take this outside" think about it. "this" is kind of a tough concept. but not for me

~~say "right here" as in "sit right here by mama" "put this truck right here" "sit down right here"

~~ say "play" as in "go outside to play" "go to park to play" "papa go outside and play" these are all things i have actually said. i don't care if you are not impressed -maybe YOUR kid said these things at 18 months, maybe he came out talking. i am still a genius. yes i am. i AM. yes! I! AM! Moooooooooooom!!!!!!!

~~say "want some" this is particularly cute. now, when i want whatever mom is eating or drinking and i want a taste, i say "want some" but, i say it like a question. the reason i do this is because every time mom offers me something of hers, she says "want some?" so now, i save her the trouble and say "want some?" never underestimate the power of cute (except in eddie bauer). yesterday, when we went to that hoedown place (more on that later) we all got ice cream. oh wait, it wasn't then. it was the day before. whatever. anyways, i scored my own ice cream and like 1/2 of papa's all because i could say "want some?" with the little question inflection.

~~i can ask for oranges. my latest fruity obsession---the packaged mandarine ones. i guess PAHblehblehblehbleh and boobays are out of season now. but it's "oh-nays" check this out "want some? oh-nays?"

~~and the best thing of all. and i am not even freaking kidding you guys. i can count to 10. oh yes i can. you can ask my mom, my binna AND my papa. mom might lie but binna and papa won't. i can count from one to ten. and i can even alternate numbers. like; mom says one and i say 2. mom says 3 then i say 4 and so on. now. i have no idea what it means to count to 10. i mean, what is 4. hell if i know. but i can count to 10 and that makes me a genius.

well, i will post again and mention all the fun i had at the old folks home in the mountains. i am going to let the magnitude of my brilliance as a22 month old child set it because i know youcan hardly stand it.

pictures of MOI

2006-07-20T16:31:00.000-09:00

i miss my dad

pointing.

yeah i'm a ham, so what?

well, it was cute to mommy

2006-07-20T04:20:00.000-09:00

so this morning, i wanted to go bye bye pretty early. mom said she had to get dresssed first. so i picked up what was on the floor and said "mama wear dis?" and she said no, because it was the pajamas she wore last night. so i walked ithe jammies over to the washing machine, and altho it took a couple tries for mama to understand what i was saying because i had never said it before, she understood that i was saying "donovan put in washing machine?" which i did, then i said "donovan turn on washing machine?" which mama said no to. she thought i was very cute and helpful with that whole exchange. now i hear her saying things like, "donovan, do you think it would be FUN to do laundry? do you want to do laundry EVERY DAY? do you want mama to teach you how to FOLD laundry?" tomorrow it is off to gramma and pop pops!

the wall incident and other musings

2006-07-18T05:32:00.000-09:00

i have a very strange family. well, let me rephrase that....a very strange mother. she is getting all excited because i am starting to tell her when i have poop. i mean, it's no big deal. i am starting to realize that caca smushing on my butt doesn't feel very good and it is embarassing when she pulls at the back of my pants to look down them to see what's it there. because that woman will look down my pants ANYWHERE--in front of anyone. is that legal? no, seriously. can she do that? so, anyways, i am getting better at knowing and i just go up to mama and say "poop" and we change my diaper and that is the end of it. i just think it is kind of weird that she gets all excited and says she's proud of me and carries on about it.

and i need to have a serious discussion with someone named "aunt kendra." mama did something to me yesterday and she said she learned it from this "aunt kendra" creature. i didn't like it one bit and i have to find a way to put a stop to it. ok, well i bit mama. pretty hard. i know i am not supposed to and i don't know what came over me, but i couldn't help it. i just did it. a couple times. so, since we don't use the play pen as a time out anymore (which never really fazed me anyways), mama made me stand by the wall. she plopped me by the wall in the sunroom and said "you stand at the wall! don't you move. no biting" or some crap like that. now, wait a minute. i can hear you saying "oh big deal--you had to stand by a wall" i know it doesn't SOUND bad when i write it, but i tell you, i started to cry, but for a long time (several seconds) i found myself unable to move. i was like paralyzed by some unseen force (maybe she activates a kid-magnet hidden in the wall---i don't know) and when she said "stand by the wall" you bet your bippy i stood by the wall. it was awful. and a couple other times when i was naughty, she said "do you want a time out at the wall????!!!!" well, duh, of course i said "no" that is a pretty stupid question. i don't want her turning that kid-magnet on me. mama said the genius of aunt kendra is that so many places have walls, so if i am naughty, i can be sent to the wall anywhere. i can't talk about this anymore, it is too upsetting.

so this weekend me and mama are going to see gramma and grampa up in the mountains. mama said it is a long drive. that is okay. i love spending time with mama. yesterday, mama picked me up from school early and we hung out playing all afternoon until bed time. we had a great time and we had lots of hugs and kisses and tickles. she said i am very smart because i talk a lot and she said i am a fun kid and a nice kid. she says that a lot, but i like to hear it. it makes up for when she (shudder) does things like the wall incident.

well, daddy is still on the big airplane at his business trip. i guess he will land in about 5 more weeks. i talk on the phone with him sometimes. i miss him a lot. he picks me up more than mom and i like the way he reads stories to me better. and he gives me smoothies. and plays ball with me. and chases me when i run with my football saying "runningback!" dada takes me on more bike rides than mama. maybe mom should spend 6 weeks in an airplane on a business trip so me and dada can hang out and Be Men. ha ha. i'm just being funny. mom is weird, but i will keep her. she just isn't the same as dada and i love him so so so so much. he will be home before i turn 2 years old.

they are building a new house next to ours and across the street. i get to see cement trucks and backhoes and workers. it is very cool to watch. maybe i will build a house when i am old, like 3 or 4 or something. i will build a house for mama and my red truck and my pillow.

okay, i have to get ready for my big trip up in the mountains!

shoes and poos

2006-07-10T15:45:00.000-09:00

my feet suddenly got bigger. all of a sudden my sandals won't close. mamma took me to that bitchin' store stride rite where i got measured and i got some biiiiiiiiiiig feet (huh huh--big feet). they actually had neakers AND sandals that fit my big ol' feet. i LOVE shoe stores! i let the guy measure my feet, then i let him put the shoes on me and then i ran around the store. i saw some wicked cool neakers with pink flowers and pink laces and lit up and i wanted those but mom said no. i said please and did the sign for please and even said pleeeeeeeaaaaaaaase real real long like that and she still said no. have i told you before how mean my mom is? but seriously. i really really liked the shoe store. i haven't been in a shoe store since last november, and i was a little kid back then. so i didn't know how cool it was.

today i let mom know i had poop. in a couple ways, one way i don't think mom was happy about, but still, my communication skills are improving and i am starting to know when i have caca in my diaper. yesterday i went to someone's house and there were little kids running around NEKKID. mom let me run around outside in my diaper but she wouldn't let me go around totally naked. one naked kid pooped on the step and then danced around in it. altho the other grown-ups reacted quickly, and cleaned up, no one seemed to have the same look as mom. it was like she was surprised or something but was trying to act like it was no big deal, like she sees kids dance in their poo all the time. me and mom had a really good time even with the poo incident. i liked being around other kids---bigger and littler and mom liked being around other grown-ups. we ate yummy food and visited and it was fun.

we went to the pool today--me and mom. and yesterday i went to the pool with miss megan and the day before that i went to jungle rapids with tiffani and sam and jumped in the bouncy thing and was there for HOURS. i had to get out of the house---mom was driving me crazy with all the "i have to unpack" business. so, finally, i was like "i have GOT to get out of here and get some SPACE" and i prayed mom would at least unpack the kitchen while i was gone, which she did.tomorow i am going to hang out with tiff, who i am going to marry.

sit down RIGHT NOW

2006-07-07T16:23:00.000-09:00

"dada go up in biiiiiig airplane. airplane real real loud. go on binniss trip" those were my exact words, which is obviously enormously articulate for someone 21 months old.

the other day i started saying "yeah" instead of "yes" which is bugging mom, who is making me say "yes ma'am" to her and "yes sir" to dada. i like saying "yeah" and "donovan no touch mamma wine (or soda)" so, that's what i will say. the other day, when i stood up in my highchair, mamma yelled at me (as always) and she yelled "SIT DOWN!" but she forgot to say the whole thing, so i reminded her by yelling back to her "RIGHT NOW! SIT DOWN RIGHT NOW!" i was just trying to help. i don't know why mama thought this was so funny.

i know i haven't posted much lately. it's just that i am so busy talking and running and starting all kinds of trouble. momma says i am a goof ball. i think this is okay because we all know how much i love balls.

my latest obsession is blueberries....and most recently ice cubes, which i suck on. i can keep one in my mouth the whole time, till it goes away. i loooooove boobays (that's how i say blueberries, not to be confused with booBIES, which sounds and IS nothing like boobays)

i am going to see gramma and poppop pretty soon. me and mama are going to make a trip. we might take a ride up to new york too, but it depends on if mama quits her job or not because she said she doesn't want to change anyone's diapers but MINE.

well, i promise to write something interesting soon. i know this wasn't it. but i had to write something.

oh yeah, mama and dada joined a church. officially. mama said now we have a religion. we are unitarian universalist. hippy tree huggin liberals if y'ask me. but they have pretty good toys in the nursery and i love the babysitters, so i guess it is okay. dada is real real into it. mama said she would be too if she didn't have to work so much. mama is cranky, so i hope dada comes down from the plane soon.

didn't waste much time sinking to the bottom

2006-06-05T08:54:00.001-09:00

aaaahh....my mother. i remember when i was in her belly her saying all kinds of things she would never do as a mother. or, more precisely, because she has realistic tendencies (at best), things she would hold off on aslong as she can. gosh, even i, fruit of her looms, thought she would be good for 3 or 4 years before becoming Like EveryOne Else.

i guess it started a few months back with the chicken mcnugget happy meal. no. it started back last fall when i was sick and she gave me (gasp!) juice. i still don't get juice very much and i haven't had chicken mcnuggets since, but oh what a slippery slope....the dam has been broken.

why she decided at my delicate age of 20 months to break me into chuck e. cheese i don't know. was it sick curiosity? did they want to see if the pizza was good? we were not invited to a party there. it was me, mamma and dada at chuck e. cheese. in any event, we went. and man oh man did i like it. turns out i am NOT too young for chuck. liked the big mouse and his friends singing up on stage.....liked the kiddy cars that ran for 20 seconds on each token. i swiped a little ball from the baby skee ball.

so. i am not even 2 yesrs old and already i have had juice (which mother said was unnecessary for children), happy meal and chuck e. cheese. what else have i done. i think dada has put in one of my videos so that he could take a shower. hmmm....i know i pretty much get one video, once a day, but that still sounds like Using The Television As A Babysitter to me.

oh, i think at least once or twice i have gotten food in a public place to make me quiet down in a public place. i really lke fruit and i am not so much into junk food, so it's tough in the grocery store when mom tries to hand me a cracker or cookie or something, but all i really want is the mango or the banana. she won't let me have the banana because she says they need to weigh them, but once i see them in the cart, i usually get pretty insistent.

hot dogs. there is another weird thing. mamma doesn't eat hot dogs. in her entire adult life, unless someone ELSE brought them over for a barbeque has there ever been a package of hotdogs in her fridge. she doesn't eat them, doesn't like them and certainly would never give such a choking hazard to a child under 3. right? another case of "let's just get them to see if he likes them?" or "let's see how high we can get his sodium and cholesterol before he starts kindergarden?" i don't know what she is thinking. anyway. she bought them. not only did she buy them, but when i wouldn't eat them, she gave them to me a few times until i decided i loved them. she cut them into thin strips and not round shapes, so there was no choking problems.

gosh. i have very bad parents.

an open letter to ms. jodi

2006-06-04T07:14:00.000-09:00

it is true, ms. jodi (we southerners call lady adults "miss" if we are permitted to use her first name) that i haven't written in a while. you see, i am a toddler. i started this blog when i was a baby. and, you see, when i was a baby, i was kind of dumb. let's face it, babies are kind of dumb. i wasn't DOING a lot of things, so i had time to write more. now that i am a toddler, which is latin for "short adult", i think, i am very smart and busy. i have bikes to ride, fits to have, cats to scare.....i go bye bye a lot.....of course, what toddler life is complete without reading and playing with a truck? i read a lot. often i read the same book over and over and over and over and over again. only because mamma and dada like to. i have this doggy book i really like (dada calls it 101 dalmations but i call it doggy book) and we will read it. then, when it is done, i hand it to him and say "more doggy book". i usually have to cry a little too. what i am trying to say to him is, "dad, i like this book, i would like you to put this book away and go buy me another book about dogs" but as we know, dada isn't very smart, so all he does is just read the book to me again. by then i just give up, sit there and listen to the same story AGAIN because he seems to want to, but, those grown-ups never understand what i mean. maybe you could help them understand me better since mamma says you work with kids. i'd appreciate that.

i really would like to make a better effort at writing in the blog more often. brilliant and amusing things are NOT being documented. mamma even says often, when i say or do something particularly clever (or naughty) that it should get in the blog, but then i just don't get around to it. altho, 9 times out of 10, every time i try to get near the computer they make me not touch it anyways. even this morning, i said soemthing that make mamma and dada crack up and dada said "oh, that is going inthe blog!" and i'll be damned if i can remember----oh wait, oh jeez....i just remembered what it was....it wasn't that funny. some reference was made during my breakfast of grits and eggs about me being a southern boy (helLO---i'm from caliFORNIA!) and mamma said "can you say y'all?" so i said "y'all" big freaking deal. i say meatball, pine cone, and complete sentences with verbs in them. "y'all" isn't that hard for me. i don't see what the fuss was about. they are weird those 2.

talk about easy words....i am learning the concept of "mine"--as well as the word. i don't use that beautiful word to it's fullest capacity yet, altho, with time, i know i will maximize it, but sometimes it flows from my genius lips. last time, it was when i wanted something off mom's plate. mom always has better food than me.

well, my deart ms. jodi.....don't delete me. i will try to post more often. you really ARE missing a lot by me not getting my autobiography down, as it happens, so i am grateful for the reminder. until we meet again, mon petit chou......

random thoughts

2006-06-01T16:28:00.000-09:00

so, momma and dada got bikes, with a cool seat and helmet for me and we have been riding every day. sometimes mamma even rides her bike to work! i love riding bikes. mamma got a new backpack for me today, the ergo baby carrier. i like it better than the sling she used to carry me in and the back packs we tried using. we are moving into my new house that they bought for me. i love running around in it and yelling because it makes my voice sound cool. i can say over 50 words and even several sentences. the other day mamma said, "donovan, are you ready to take a bath" and i said "no" and she said "what do you mean, no?" and i said "i mean no mamma" and she thought this was funny for some reason. i went into the pool and i wasn't afraid. not even a little. well. this wasn't too interesting, but so what. i am going to make mamma try karen's couscous recipe. mmmmmmmmmm

since when do i use capital letters

2006-05-02T15:55:00.000-09:00

Well, today I figured out how to really impress Daddy. Mind you, I did this with a sore throat and fever, so it's all the more impressive (pain means nothing to me...except when I'm feverish and Daddy pours water on my back in the tub, or uses diaper wipes on me...cold equals boo-boo!!!) Alright, ready for the impressive thing I did? I said "running back!!!" Then I said "quarterback" and "wide receiver." Then, I pointed to running backs in my football book, and then I went and grabbed my little football and ran around the house with it. I've never seen Daddy so excited. He said something about getting me an agent. I don't have any idea what that is, but usually I get toys or books and I like those, so whatever Daddy wants to get me I'm glad to have, and probably not share with anyone. I've also decided it's time to start messing with Mom and Dad's heads. Since I've become an expert at saying "no" I've decided it would be fun to respond to all questions that way, even when I really mean "yes." Drives the old folks batty!!! I'm becoming really independent too. Yesterday, we went for a walk in my stroller, until I decided that they didn't know where they were going, so I should push it instead. But they wouldn't stop touching and trying to steer for me. They kept talking about "not in the road" and "stay on the sidewalk." People, please!!! I've got this driving thing handled, and if you insist on touching my ride I'm gonna pitch a fit every freakin' time. Well, Daddy says since I'm sick I better go to bed, so I'm signing off for now. He thinks he's got me handled, but wait until HE gets a sore throat from sharing his smoothie with me today. Then he'll see who really wears the diapers in this family. Peace out!!!

hot

2006-04-28T10:54:00.000-09:00

in the beach pictures. you should know that it wasn't a windy day. i just have so much sunscreen in my hair that it is sticking up.

mom did what she swore she woudn't do for a few years. i got a happy meal. yup. see, i thought chicken nuggets were these soy things mommy somtimes cooks at home. she thought i couldn't chew them because i was a baby, but the truth is i just don't like them. turns out REAL chicken nuggets are pretty freaking good. with ranch dressing.

i discovered i looooooove ranch dressing. i don't really like barbeque sauce---altho i could SAY it perfectly. i said "barbeque hot" i usually say something is hot when i don't like it. i think that is because "hot" means bad or yucky. when mom doesn't watch me to touch something, like her coffee or the stove she always yells "NO!!! HOT! don't touch!" so i guess hot means bad. so when i don't like something, i usually spit it out and say it is hot.

makes sense, right?

a boy, his sippy cup and the beach

2006-04-25T15:42:00.000-09:00

i figured out how to post some of my beach pictures. my new sippy cup is cool. i just found out my 2nd cousin lindsay is in town working and is going to visit me tomorrow. i have never met her, but mom is excited. by the way, the nose picking thing.....i was just messing around with mom for a few days with that. i haven't done it in a day or 2. you see, i really did have an itch on my brain.

paaaaah blehblehbleh (strawberries)

2006-04-25T15:12:00.000-09:00

here are some pictures for y'all. i am trying to get some pictures of when i went to the beach----dada took some good shots, but alas you will have to settle for my strawberry picking. did i tell you i have a new bed time? 9pm. yup. get to stay up late like a big kid. i think it is because i am a big kid now. mamma said it was because they were sick of getting up at 5am every day, so now that i stay up till 9, i sleep till 6:20. 5am....6am....it's all the same to me. i am happy i get to stay up later---AND i am down to one nap. here are some pictures of me.

the outside potty is gone. we don't get to keep that

i am THAT kid

2006-04-24T16:03:00.000-09:00

you know, the kid who just sits there observing everything with his finger so far up his nose, like his brain has an itch. yup that is me. the first couple times i did it, mom laughed, but for some reason, she doesn't think it is funny any more. i can't understand these people. funny one day. not funny the next day. there's consistency for ya.

went to the pool today. not too sure about the water. went to the beach the other day. no WAY was i going in THAT water. i got used to the water in the pool (at our new house---we don't have a pool in our yard, but there is a big club house with a cool pool in it). mommy and daddy each took one of my hands and pulled me across the pool. and i went "WWoooooooah!" i even said "mamma dadda, 'wwhooooah' water" to tell them i wanted to do it.

i can say a whole bunch of things i didn't even tell you yet, and i am not going to right now either. and you can't make me. nnnnnyah.

me talks good

2006-04-22T03:58:00.000-09:00

mommy says i am in my "terrible two's". i don't know what that means, but i will say that mom and dad have been annoying me a lot lately, and let me just say---i am not afraid to tell them about it. oooooooh, they are so much bigger than me. who cares, man. they can't push ME around. i am a big boy, i am independent, i know what i want and i am not afraid to ask for--nay--DEMAND it! i am not a little baby any more and i just wish they could get it thru their heads. if that what it means to be in the terrible two's then just call me T2. hey, i just thought of that. maybe that could be my street name. (you can't believe how big i am--i need a street name) T2. yeah, i kind of like that.

we are moving into a new house.

i can talk real good. (not so much in the grammar, but real good nonetheless). i know, and can point to on command my: hair, head, eyes, ears, nose, cheeks, mouth, teeth tongue, elbow, hands, tummy, butt, penis, legs, feet, toes.

i am obsessed with trucks. all trucks, but especially dump trucks. i also like mom's shoes and figured out how to stick my finger up my nose.

i ask to touch every thing "touch bird?" "touch truck?" "touch tree?"

i know zebra, kitty cat, doggy, monkey, lion, bug, butterfly and lizard.

i love ariplanes.

i am trying to reach tiffani, so i will write more later.

oooh la la, oui oui

2006-04-09T19:44:00.000-09:00

wow....it has been a long time since i've posted. maMA (that is my french accent, by the way) is working a night shift tomorrow in the seventh level of hell, so she is staying up late tonight, drinking big cans of "energy drinks" so she can sleep tomorrow during the day so she can stay up all night tomorrow. tonight she is cooking so daddy can stop feeding me cottage cheese 3 times a day.

so, i told you about my french accent. i say maMA and when i say "no no no" i really make my lips into a tight "o" and get the whole nasally sound to it. i think it is very sophisticated and makes me sound older, but for some reason, maMA just laughs at me. today i learned how to say "wine". i think when i grow up i will be french.

my vocabularry is amzingly advanced. altho it continues to be my only parents who can understand many of my words, i would say i have a vocabulary of around 50 words. no shit. i can also put some words together. "pop bubbles." "all done bath" (i can say all done then lots of things) and "bye bye mama", while i cling to my dada.

yeah. seems every day i am more into dada. mama is this mysterous person who leaves several days a week and then when she IS home it seems she is alsways cooking dinner. well geez---dada doesn't go to work OR cook dinner AND he takes me to the park. who do you think i would rather be with. and me and dada go outside and look for lizards (nyo-nyo in my language) i am not the least bit concerned that i am breaking my mother's heart every time i don't go to her.

obsessed with strawberries these days. "paaaaahblehblehbleh"

over the whole vacuum thing. still loves balls (including the ones....never mind). love trucks, cars, birdies. and saying "vroom vroom vroom" don't tell anyone, but i kind of like pooh bear too. does that make me a pansy?

also, i moved to the Older One's classroom. and guess what? the teacher quit, so they moved the teacher i HAD into that class. so i got to keep the same teacher, who i totally love. tiffani, my weekend babysitter, who i also love, comes and visits me. so....i get to see my 2 favorite ladies still. not as much as i used to. but i am going to marry one of them, that is why i am working on my french accent, to impress them.

we are going to be moving into a new house pretty soon. they are just about done working on it dada says. i go and supervise about once a week. keep those workers on their toes.

my aunt kendra had 2 babies on st patrick's day. so now i have 3 cousins....shea, auryn and cian.

must end now. maMA has to clean the kitchen because energy drink or not, she is getting very sleepy.

bye bye boobs

2006-02-28T18:22:00.000-10:00

the computer is fixed.....aaaaaaaah.

well, mom and dad took me in the car for about 10000 hours to go to florida to see the grandparents and the greats. and some other relatives and neighbors too. but you know what the coolest thing about it was? i ate alligator. deep fried, but alligator nonetheless. and i liked it.

also, i am putting together complex thoughts. mom is not letting me nurse much any more (maybe 3 times in 2 weeks---how mean), so now i pull out her shirt, stick my hand down there and say "bye-bye boob" i do this a lot. today, when mom was chasing me around the house trying to make me eat lunch and she FINALLY got off my back and left i said "bye-bye pasta" see how smart i am????

i can say probably 30 or more words. yup.. genius. and yes....drinking from a sippy cup since about 8 months old. working on a regular cup.

i am really really really super duper into dada lately. since mom ain't giving up the goods (i.e. jugs), i haven't had much interest in her. i want dada to do everything. mom says things like "fine. hell with both of ya, i don't care" do you think that is true? do you think mom doesn't care about us and wants us to go to hell? i think momma should watch what she says. i am an impressionable sponge. i hear and understand everything. yes, mother, even when you say The F Word, which by the way, i think you should knock off. you say it a lot.

i really miss my babysitter Tat (mom calls her tiffani). i don't know why she doesn't come around any more. is it because my dad is here? i think i might see her tomorrow which i am very excited about. i love her very much.

well, mom's ambien must be kicking in so, i mean, um, well, i want some vegan muffins. who watched my video?

beach pictures or....i eat sand, too!

2006-02-15T15:56:00.000-10:00

the genius and his vibrator

2006-02-15T15:11:00.000-10:00

i just got the coolest thing. it's this vibrating bristling thing that i put in my mouth. mom calls it an electric toothbrush. it has b'ga b'ga (balloons) on it. it is very cool. i can turn it off and on all by myself. yeah. it's awesome. my vibrator. i'm awesome.

hey jodi....i can drink from a sippy cup. does that count? it IS a cup. i can drink from a regular non sippy cup, but i usually choke on whatever i drink and wear most of it. i am working on it. FOR YOU, by the way. i mean, i haven't had a bottle since i was maybe 8 months old. mom is being VERY VERY VERY stingy with the boobs. i suspect it might be your fault. hmmmm.

there is also more talk about putting me a new classroom in school. i don't know. on the one hand....the kids in my class seem to be getting younger every day. some of these kids have these things they keep in their mouths that they suck on all the time. what is up with THAT? but i like the toys in my class and i love miss chastity and miss loretta....why would they try to get rid of me? i don't know. i know i am their favorite. it's stressful even thinking about it. i mean, if i am with bigger kids, what do they learn? do i have to know how to read? use the potty? it's for 18 months to 2 year olds. 2 year olds are like grown ups, right? can 2 year olds drive?

i can say balloons (b'ga b'ga)....and i am starting to be able to put multiple words together. what else can i say? onion. banana. computer. potty. broom. cheese. teeth. i still cannot say "no" which mommy finds strange. (oh i can shake my head tho) nor can i say milk, thirsty, or eat, which mom is going to try to teach me the signs for. there are more words i can say but i can't remember. i am so a genius. AM SO AM SO AM SO AM SO!!!!!!!!!!!!

if you put me in my jail i will not sleep

2006-02-14T08:06:00.000-10:00

haha. i love it when things mom does backfires. does that make me a bad person? mom decided to try the "time-out" method of disciplining me. when i do something naughty, she puts me someplace for a minute (oooh--a whole minute because she read that a minute a year is how long to calculate a time out. what a dork) where i have to stay. true, she tried to get me to just sit facing a wall, but i didn't listen and she couldn't enforce it. and she couldn't put me in my crib....and besides....we are downstairs most of the time.

enter my "pack & play". fits next to the couch....she can toss me in it when i am naughty (with a perfect view of the TV because mom is such a genius) and STILL not miss a minute of dr. phil.

now mom and dad are thinking about visiting people. gram and gramps in florida being the first trip on the list. hmmmmm...what will the baby sleep in? can't be MY JAIL because i associate that with being In Trouble. so, mom is trying to figure it out. i bet they end up with another pack and play in another color to try to fool me beasue they think i am dumb. HELLO---i can eat with a spoon----i am not dumb!

i can write in my sleep

2006-02-11T00:35:00.000-10:00

well, i woke up a little early this morning and who came to get me out of my crib? DA-DA!!!!!!!!!! by the time mommy came out of the shower, i had fallen back fast asleep on daddy's chest in the bed. mommy came out of the shower and saw and i think she said it was the most beautiful thing she ever saw. mmmmm. snuggly warm daddy who i missed so much......i love sleeping on you........mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

no title. i can't think of one

2006-02-08T14:55:00.000-10:00

well i am sick again, dammit. i don't care if i am swearing either. besides, i asked mom about the body parts inmy diaper and she told me what they all were, so i think that qualifies me for legally being able to swear. i will go to the doctor tomorrow to see what is plaguing me this time. probably another ear infection. mom said that her friend who is a chiropractor could possibly adjust the ear infections out of me. hmmmmmm. yeah, well, we'll see. if i know my mom the fruit loop, she will try it.

daddy is coming home friday.

hip hip hooray.

noodle noodle noodle noodle

2006-02-06T15:36:00.000-10:00

more words i forgot i could say....
moon,
star,
uh-huh-uh-huh (as in, that's the way uh-huh i like it)
spoon (nope, not cup)
i know there are more. i am verbose. i will concede that usually it is mother who knows what i am saying. to you it might sound like gibberish.
today i said "all done bath"
daddy's coming home in 4 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

why did it have to be THAT sentence

2006-02-05T00:38:00.000-10:00

well, my buddy conor has taken his first steps (yay) and i have said my first....what would you call it....complete sentence, i guess. i knew "all done"---i've known that for months. and well, i guess it is no secret that i still breast fed at 16 1/2 months (altho much less than i would like dammit).

well, now i can say "all done boobs" and put momma's shirt down. it IS developmentally significant that i put these words together so i don't care what you think about it. i am a genius. i love my mot-mot. and carrying around an old lace table runner. '
go seahawks.

getting to know you....

2006-02-01T15:08:00.000-10:00

today i wouldn't eat the frittata mom made for dinner because i am a pain in the butt. mom has decided she is not offering me 6 different things if i am in a picky mood so she just said "never mind, don't eat, you won't starve" man i HATE it when she calls my bluff. so i started grabbing at the "ba" (which is the boobs to the uninitiated) because, well, i was hungry. so she fed me yogurt and penne pasta (i can say pasta by the way) while watching my baby eintein video. she said not to get in the habit of this eating in front of the t.v. business, but i don't know, i found it to be enjoyable and efficient.

here are some of the words i can say: pasta, up, down, off, on (off and on are the same word but mom knows which one i mean) ball, watch, bubbles, lasagna, bye-bye, mamma and dadda of course, monkey (mot-mot), outside (na-na), pen, bath, blocks (very reminscent of "ball"), broccoli (well, sort of), bike (also very much like ball). box, (also sounds like ball). strangely enough i cannot utter the word "no" altho i can shake my head. i can sort of say "buckle" (as in what straps me into the car seat), hair, and of course, vacuum (which sounds like pffffft). oh, and "all done" and "what's that"...potato (sort of) and i can't think of any other words. i copy a lot of what mom says. as i have said before, since i am such a busy person, i rarely actually finish the word. but, if i say the first part and you know what i mean, why waste time finishing the words, right? i am an effcient boy.

my auntie karen said i had to answer a questionaire in my blog. it is pretty dumb, but i will do it:

1. What color are your kitchen plates? i have bowls. plastic. red ones, blue ones green ones, purple ones
> > 2. What book are you reading now? "barnyard dance" by sandra boynton

> > 3. What's on your mouse pad? i don't understand......
> > 4. What's your favorite board game? i have board books that have flaps. that's like a board game.

> > 5. Favorite magazine? the ones that are more like newsprint are easier to chew than the heavy shiny paged ones. i am afraid of cutting my lip on the shiny ones, so i will say the newprint kind

> > 6. Favorite smell? mommy's ba
> > 7. Least favorite smell? the bubbles i make in the tub
> > 8. What's the first thing you think of in the morning? oh god where is my mommy? is she ever going to come get me?!?!?! MOMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYY

> > 9. Favorite color?definitely yellow
>> 10. Least favorite color? i don't like the yellow bath crayon because i can hardly see it when i draw in the tub. so, yellow.
> > 11. How many rings before you answer the phone? i can't count. but i CAN use my own hand as a phone, which makes it very convenient for making calls. i don't get too many tho on it...

.
> > 12. Future children's names? mot mot and mamma!

> > 13 Favorite alcoholic drink? >i have been trying to get at my dad's beer my whole freaking life.
> > 14 What is your sign and birthday? september 20. i know the sign for refridgerator and i love you.
> > 15. Do you eat the stems of broccoli? no. i don't spit them out tho. i just open my mouth and let them fall out. spitting is rude.

> > 16. If you could have any job what would it be? breast pump

> > 17. If you could have any color hair what would it be? yes, i'd love a hair color

> 18. Is the glass half full or half empty ? it depends if ican reach it or not! if i can reach it it will be ALL empy in a minute

> >
> > 19. Favorite movie? altho i like several of the baby eintein series, baby beethoven, is really a timeless classic

> > 20. Do you type with the right fingers on the keys? yes. i do everything right. i am a genius. mommy says so.

> > 21. What's under your bed? what do you mean under my bed? is that where momsters are?

> > 22. What is your favorite number? that is a dumb-ass question
> > 23. What is your single biggest fear? well, it WAS that mommy wouldn't come get me in the morning, but now you got me thinking about what could be under the bed....

> > 24. Person(s) most likely to respond? to what?
> > 25. Person(s) most likely not to respond? i don't' understand
> > 26. Favorite song? bringing home my baby bumbebee
> > 27. Favorite TV show? the today show because people clap for me
> > 28. Ketchup or mustard? neither
> > 30. Favorite soft drink? whole milk
> >
> > 31. The best place you have ever been? under mommy's shirt
>
> > 32. Favorite High School Subject? i like going outside and climbing in school
> >
> > 33. What screen saver is on your computer right now? i can say computer: k-pa k-pa

> > 34. Burger king or McDonald's? i saw burger king playing football on tv
> >
> > 35. Favorite pet: rambo hisses at me and cleo lets me pet her and kiss her, so cleo.

i told you i eat toilet paper

2006-01-25T13:54:00.002-10:00

well, i guess i must not have had enough of the delicious dinner mommy made for me. i had salmon, that i picked up with my fingers (this is some good stuff yo) and then mommy put spinach, rice, and a little quinoa and pine nuts (anything for a little extra iron) in the food processor and yes, i ate it by myself with a spoon and it was also very delicious. mom was glad i liked it because i am getting pickier about what i eat these days. i thought ravioli was better as hair ornamentation yesterday than dinner.

toilet paper is still the best dessert tho.

i have 4 teeth coming in right now including 3 molars but i am not cranky about it.

yesterday i bit and hit mommy and now she says she has to buy a book on disciplining toddlers. jeez...does she buy a book for everything? i think so. and at school i pinched a kid who (USED TO) takes toys from me. i will be graduating soon to the big kids class. the teachers assured mommy i was not becoming an aggresive kid and this was normal baaehavior but mom is not happy about it. well, she'll buy a book and make me perfect. riiiiiiiiiiiiiight hooo hooo hooo ha ha ha haaaa